Midnight Pals: Little Longfellow War

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow: By the shores of Gitche Gumee
Longfellow: By the shining Big-Sea-Water
Longfellow: stood the mighty Hiawatha
Longfellow: in a coat he made from otter

King: wow, just wow
Barker: incredible stuff!
Koontz: gosh! so cool!
Lovecraft: really gets you right here, don't it?
Poe:
Poe: [muttering] he's not that good

Poe: ugh, longfellow's poems are maudlin tripe
Poe: you guys actually LIKE this stuff?
King: it just makes you feel nice inside, edgar
Poe:
King: ya know all warm and squishy
Poe:
King: like you just ate a big pile of water balloons
Poe: yes stephen i am familiar with the sensation

Poe: i'm gonna call this charlatan out
King: oh edgar, don't
King: dean really likes his poems
Poe: dean is hardly the barometer of good taste, steve
King: oh no edgar
King: you don't mean that
Poe: i'm sorry i just
Poe: they're not good poems!

King: they're very popular poems, edgar
Poe: popularity does not mean quality, steve!!!
Poe: longfellow writes pap for the lowest common denominator!
Poe: oooo i HATE that longfellow!!
Poe: i hate him and his trust fund!!

Poe: [typing] call out post for henry wadsworth longfellow
Poe: [typing] his poetry is maudlin tripe, fit only for children
Poe: [typing] his work is complete squeecore

Barker: damn, edgar, i never thought I'd say this
Barker: but you got the soul of a true poster!
Barker: honestly i figured howard was the only true poster among us
Lovecraft: [typing on phone] DEBATE ME, FRED JACKSON YOU COWARD!!!

King: did longfellow reply to your callout, edgar?
Poe: no!! he hasn't said anything!
Poe: he's just ignoring it!
Poe: he's ignoring the discourse!
Barker: damn wow
Barker: what a power move!

Poe: what the
Poe: ooo! that longfellow! always two steps ahead!
King: just let it go edgar
Barker: haha don't tell him what to let go steve
King:
King: oh i guess i need to say it this time
King: clive

Poe: i've got one last trick up my sleeve
Poe: something that no writer can resist replying to!
King: no edgar you can't mean
Poe: yes!
Poe: i'm going to write a one star goodreads review

Longfellow: [singing and playing electronic keyboard] To stop that discourse, one-two-three
Longfellow: Here's a fresh new way that's trouble-free
Longfellow: It's got henry longfellow's guarantee ... [winks]
Longfellow: Just don't look! Just don't look!