Midnight Pals: The Great White North

Caitlin Marceau: good day and welcome to my story eh?
Marceau: i'm caitlin marceau eh?
Marceau: and i call this the tale of the toxic parent-child relationship
King: no caitlin you have to say the words
King: "submitted for the approval of the midnight society"
Marceau: oh, take off!

Marceau: it's about this woman who goes to a weekend cabin retreat with her smothering mom eh?
Marceau: but let me tell you
Marceau: parents just don't understand

Marceau: so this woman is stuck with her mom in this cabin in the isolated canadian wilderness
Marceau: but this mom?
Marceau: just a real hoser, eh?
Marceau: ends up pushing her down a cliff eh
Marceau: lucky thing we got that socialized medicine eh

Marceau: the woman is all "mom, i'm hurt real bad eh? i think you better call the mounties eh?"
Marceau: and her mom is all "take off! all you need is some poutine and a nice glass of maple syrup and you'll be all good eh?"
Marceau: so they stay trapped in the great white north eh

Marceau: [drinking milk from a bag] with nary a tim hortons in sight
Marceau: they might be trapped in a cabin in the middle of nowhere during a blizard eh
Marceau: but the real horror is being trapped in a co-dependent relationship with a narcissistic parent eh
Marceau: and a weird smell in the cabin eh
William Faulkner: a smell you say?
Marceau: this one knows what i'm talking about eh

Marceau: i've brought canadian treasure geddy lee to help explain it eh?
King: geddy lee of Rush?!?!
King: geddy lee of the band Rush!?!
Geddy Lee: take offffffff
Lee: to the great white north!!!
Lee: take offffffff
Lee: it's a beauty where ya goooo!!!!
Lee: take offfffff!!!

Marceau: [drilling auger into maple tree] see ya just let the sap out just so eh?
[lor gislason oozes out of tree and fills bucket]
Marceau: oh, take off!