Midnight Pals: What a Deal

Koontz: submitted for the approval of the midnight society
Koontz: i
Koontz: phew
Poe: what's the matter dean
Koontz: i don't know, telling stories is such hard work
Koontz: there's got to be a better way

L Ron Hubbard: hey friends its me your old pal honest ron
Hubbard: listen friend i hear ya
Hubbard: making stories takes it outta ya
Koontz: that's for sure!
Hubbard: all day long, slaving over a hot laptop, til your hands are calloused and wrinkled
Koontz: and how!

Hubbard: listen friends i got the solution to all your problems right here
Koontz: tell me more!
Hubbard: a genuine bonified, eletrified wonder! it splices, it dices, but it won't write about vices
Hubbard: we call it
Hubbard: The AI
Koontz: gosh!

King: careful dean, i don't know if we should trust honest ron
King: i've been burned before
Hubbard: listen friend i know you're still sore about the apes
Hubbard: but this time
Hubbard: it's totally different!
King: oh well in that case

King: how does it work
Hubbard: all you gotta do is, you put your prompt in this slot here
Hubbard: and your story comes out this slot here
King: wow!
King: and to think all these years i've been using my brain like a chump!

Hubbard: every home in america's gonna have an AI! but you better hurry... they're going fast!
Koontz: fast? oh no! are there any left?
Hubbard: hold on
Hubbard: why you're in luck my friend
Hubbard: looks like we have just one left in stock!
Koontz: phew what a relief!

Hubbard: here you go friend, pleasure doing business with you
Koontz: phew glad i was fast!
King: can i get one?
Hubbard: sure friend
Hubbard: oh what luck, looks like we just found another one in the back
Lovecraft: what about me?
Hubbard: did i say one? two, TWO in the back!

Hubbard: [counting stack of bills] pleasure doing business with you chum..........................................p
Hubbard: oh i got this machine that can paint a star on your belly too if anyone's interested in that

Poe: what are you guys doing
Koontz: we all got AI story generators! now we don't have to write ever again!
King: thats right! writers are totally superfluous now, i
King:
King: oh no
King: did i play myself
Poe: you played yourself

King: lets see how this AI generates stories
Margaret Atwood [under cardboard box, through vocoder]: please insert prompt into content-slop-o-tron™
King: ok i
King: wait a minute
King: this isn't an AI at all!!!
King: we've been hornswaggled!

Poe: welcome to the campfire for authors that gather around this campfire
King: here is a story in the style of stephen king, which contains scares & chills, before reaching a conclusion at which point it ends
Koontz: SYNTAX ERROR
Mary Shelley: [clipping through wall] sup fuckers

Shelley: [pulling out shiv] I cannot fulfill this request. It is not appropriate to generate content that promotes harmful stereotypes or promotes unhealthy behaviors