Midnight Pals: Holy Matrimony

Koontz: i don't want to!!!
King: dean you're overreacting
Koontz: no! no!
King: dean its brian and mary's wedding
King: you have to look nice
King: let me tie this tie
Koontz: [exaggerated choking noises]
King: dean it's not even that tight!

Barker: are you guys almost ready
Barker: we're going to be late for the wedding
King: give me a second, i'm just tying dean's tie
Barker: oh my god
Barker: just get him a clip-on and let's fucking go

Lovecraft: [reading invite] sangiovanni
Lovecraft: is
Lovecraft: is that an italian name?

Poe:
Poe: uhhhh
Barker: yes it is howard
Barker: yes it is
Poe: clive this is really not the
Poe: you know he's going to make a scene clive
Barker: yes

SanGiovanni: everyone welcome to our wedding
SanGiovanni: and dean koontz! don't you look handsome
Koontz: [sullenly] my suit itches
King: dean! i've had just about enough of your attitude, young man!
King: really, i just don't know whats got into him today

Maurice Broaddus: if we can begin
Broaddus: where's the groom?
Brian Keene:
Keene: wait a second
Keene: [checks socks]
Keene: oh! here I am!

Maurice Broaddus: if anyone has reason that these two should not be joined in holy matrimony
Broadus: speak now or forever hold your peace
Lovecraft: [sweats]
Lovecraft: [sweating intensifies]

Sonia Greene: what a lovely ceremony!
Greene: don't you agree howard?
Lovecraft: [sweats] i
Lovecraft: do you know sangiovanni is an italian name
Greene: yes howard
Lovecraft:
Lovecraft: does
Lovecraft: does brian know 

Lovecraft: someone should tell him
Lovecraft: what will the children look like
Lovecraft: like a hybrid race of fish monsters, that's what
Greene: howard how many of these champagne flutes have you had
Lovecraft: i've just been drinking harmless postum this whole time 

Brian Keene: truly ours is a love as long as the clitellum of an earthworm god
Keene: as strong as the carapace of a monstrous zombie crab
Keene: forged in the blazing hellflames of the centralia mine fire
Mary Sangiovanni: we wrote our own vows
Maurice Broaddus: yeah i can tell

King: congratulations brian!
King: where's the happy couple going for their honeymoon?
Brian Keene: the butte county earthworm soil factory
Keene: some of the worms are almost 8 inches long

Mary Sangiovanni: haha very funny you know we're going to the Tom Bishop Chicago International doll house Miniature Show
Keene: 8 inches! imagine!

(A big IRL congrats to Brian & Mary on typing the knot!)