Midnight Pals: New Series

JK Rowling: hello children
Poe: oh joanne
Poe: you're
Poe: you're back
Barker: edgar edgar you sound so tired
Barker: put some feeling into it
Barker: "ha ha joanne!"
Barker: "you're back!"
Barker: you act like this won't be extremely funny edgar
Poe:
Barker: ha ha

JK Rowling: good newssss children  
Rowling: Max has agreed to make a full harry potter ssseriesssss  
[all look at Max Booth III]  
Rowling: no no not max, i mean MAX
[all look at Max Brooks]  
Rowling: no no i mean  
Rowling: i mean you know  
Rowling: MAX!

Rowling: sssee, i wasss thinking  
Rowling: i jusssst i don't feel like doing any cormorant ssstrike anymore  
Rowling: i mean i feel like i've sssaid everything i wanted to sssay with that ssseriesss  
Rowling: having sssoundly defeated my every twitter critic in the lassst book

Rowling: even though cormonrant sssstrike is universally beloved and anticipated by many many legionsss of fansss  
Rowling: known as ssstrikers or sssometimesss ssstrikeheadsss  
Rowling: but never ssstrikeess, that's a derogatory term

Rowling: even though they begged me for more, i thought it was best to concentrate on harry potter again  
Rowling: here'sss a photo of cormorant ssstrike fans begging for more sstrike content  
Rowling: all the fanss are jusst out of frame

Barker: really? just doing harry potter shit now huh?  
Rowling: yess  
Barker: no interest in cormorang shrite anymore?  
Rowling: no  
Barker: huh i wonder why  
Rowling:  
Barker: none at all?  
Rowling: no  
Barker: didn't you, like, sue the BBC to keep making cordoroy shrike shows?  
Rowling:

Barker: is it actually because  
Poe: clive  
Barker: nobody likes Carkadann Spike?  
Poe: CLIVE  
Rowling: that'ss not true  
Rowling: the people LOVE Cormorant Sstrike!  
Rowling: [coiling] and keep ssaying his name wrong, that'ss not making me mad at all, i don't care

Rowling: thisss time  
Rowling: the actorss won't get away from me  
Rowling: my goblin lawyer will add a clausse to their contract that they have to sssupport my transsphobia forever  
Barker: your goblin lawyer huh  
Rowling: goblinss are really good with that sssort of thing you know