Midnight Pals: Facts & Logic

Mary Shelley: sup fuckers
Mary Shelley: my little man percy here’s got a story
Mary Shelley: and you’re all gonna sit and listen to it okay?
Mary Shelley: alright tell your story percy
Percy Shelley: yes dear
Mary Shelley: you fuckers are gonna love this

Lord Byron: [tossing hair] ah mary now you know if you want a real story, a story of dashing derring do from a real man
Mary Shelley: shut the fuck up
Mary Shelley: maybe I wasn’t clear
Mary Shelley: my little man here is fucking talking now

Ben Shapiro: sir sir sir
Shapiro: excuse me SIR
Shapiro: so now apparently sir you think the devil is “cool”
Percy Shelley:
Mary Shelley: I’ll handle this, percy
Mary Shelley: the devil fucking rules, you little nerd
Shapiro: [huffing indignantly]
Shapiro: sir!!! Sir!!!! SIR!!!!

Shapiro: what’s the deal with
Shapiro: well sir apparently “transgressive poets” like
Shapiro: like this percy shelley
Shapiro: they think the devil is “cool”
Shapiro: sir! SIR!!!

Shapiro: perhaps you didn’t know SIR
Shapiro: that actually SIR if you read your bible SIR
Shapiro: the devil is ACTUALLY the VILLAIN SIR
Shapiro: hmm looks like I just ran rings around you
Shapiro: with facts AND logic
Shapiro: SIR!!!!

Mary Shelley: who the fuck is this nerd
Ben Shapiro: SIR!!! SIR!!! Calling me a nerd is anti-semitism sir!!!
Mary Shelley: which one of you dorks invited this little shit
King: it wasn’t our idea mary!
Poe: he just started showing up after he wrote that book about voring democrats

Ben Shapiro: sir!! Sir!!! Sir!!!!
Shapiro: maybe you didn’t know this SIR
Shapiro: because the devil is bad actually SIR!!!
Shapiro: therefore I don’t understand SIR!!!
Shapiro: why transgressive artists keep using him in storytelling
Shapiro: SIR!!!!

Shapiro: why can’t you tell some nice stories instead
Shapiro: about how Israel never did anything wrong
Shapiro: and also about vore
Shapiro: SIR!!!

Shapiro: actually this is cultural Marxism
Shapiro: and also woke moralism
Shapiro: AND political correctness run amok
Shapiro: it’s all three SIR!!!

Mary Shelley: I’m going to stab this little shit
Mary Shelley: and I’m going to stab whichever one of you fuckers invited him
Barker: it was howard
Lovecraft: m-me???
Mary Shelley: [shivving lovecraft] that scans