Midnight Pals: The Conservative

Lovecraft: h-hey guys do you want to see my newsletter
Barker: you uh
Barker: you wrote a newsletter?
Barker: whats it called?
Lovecraft: t-the conservative
Barker:
Barker: ah ha ha ha
August Derleth: STOP IT, HOWARD IS ONLY AS RACIST AS THE AVERAGE MAN OF HIS DAY!!

Derleth: look before you start making assumptions  
Derleth: you gotta understand that howard's 'conservatism' bears little resemblance to how we understand the term today  
Derleth: see, for howard, it's about cultural revival  
Barker: oh my god haha  
Barker: he's a fuckin retvrn guy

Derleth: no! howard's using the term 'conservative' differently than how we use it today!  
Lovecraft: i-i just think we need to protect our precious anglo saxon values against the onslaught of saracens, tinkers, and other mud races  
Barker: seems pretty similar to me

Barker: do you have anything in your newsletter that's not racist  
Derleth: clive  
Barker: oh no no no  
Barker: you're not edgar  
Barker: you don't get to say that

Barker: so
Barker: anything not racist in your newsletter  
Lovecraft: i  
Lovecraft: i-i have a review of TS Eliot's the wasteland  
Barker: oh yeah? what'd you think?  
Lovecraft: it sucks

Lovecraft: i-in fact i penned this little spoof of the wasteland Lovecraft: called waste paper  
Lovecraft: i-it's droll  
Barker: is it racist  
Lovecraft: i mean, a little  
Lovecraft: just as a treat

TS Eliot: March is the cruelest month  
Eliot: always wet, always rainy  
Eliot: i have three chairs in my kitchen  
Eliot: and one more in the attic  
Eliot: for there is silver in your smile  
Eliot: and gold in them thar hills  
Eliot: Fahrvergnügen! Kartoffelsalat!  
Lovecraft: ughhhhh

Tom Monteleone: well howard you gonna publish any straight white men in your newsletter?  
Monteleone: i bet you won't  
Monteleone: it's just not [air quotes] fashionable [air quotes] anymore innit
Lovecraft: i-i will!  
Lovecraft: i will put straight white men it, see if i don't!

Monteleone: look at you lot, giving non white male writers a chance... like a bunch of PC cowards!  
Moneteone: you know what's real bravery? publishing white writers  
Moneteone: now THAT'S punk rock