Diary of a Gainer

I ran out of milk today. I was looking at fat guys on the internet and got so horny that I needed to chug something. There’s no more ice cream in the house after the other night so all I had was half a gallon of milk. I just started chugging while I stroked myself and rubbed my belly. I’ve been jerking off in front of my full length mirror lately so I can see how big my belly has become and imagine it growing bigger. Sometimes I get so overwhelmed looking at myself that I come way too fast and then I’m mad at myself. It’s just too hot sometimes.

Especially since I hit 220 on the scale. It’s taken so much work to get here at six feet tall. I have to eat so much more than smaller guys that it’s really unfair. But seeing myself in the mirror looking so huge is definitely worth it and I only want more. When I imagine myself bigger, I sometimes hold my hand out in front of me to visualize my gut sticking out that far. I imagine 250 and then 300 pounds. Imagining 300 is so hot. I’m getting hard right now just thinking about it.

I bet you feel so fucking fat at 300 pounds, like there’s just fat everywhere pushing out in every direction. Uncontrollably large and puffy mass. At 300 pounds you’re a fat fuck and there’s no denying it. Right now, I’m obviously a chubby guy. I mean hell, I used to be 170 so this is a huge difference for sure, but I’m still not THAT big. Like there’s usually still a few guys in the room bigger than me. And at my current weight it’s mostly noticeable in my belly and thighs/ass, whereas I feel like 300, or even 250, you start to look fat all over. Like a real doughboy. Ugh, sounds so hot.

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I’m getting so frustrated with how expensive food has become. Gaining is expensive! Legit the majority of my paycheck goes to food and that’s just fucked up. Nevermind the fact that every six months I grow out of my current favorite pair of jeans. I see why the real fat guys stick to elastic. It’s not just more comfortable but it’s fucking necessary if you’re a constantly growing pig like me.

I should probably start looking into ways to get free food. When I was in college there was always catered events on campus and that was a real help. I wonder if I could go back and sneak into a few? Is that deranged? LOL. Hey, I still look young. I think. Though I’m getting carded less and I think part of that has to do with the weight gain. Twink death is a real thing and extra heft is masculine, I don’t care what anyone says.

Sometimes, I want to get back in the gym to build myself even bulkier. I still have a good base of muscle underneath my chub, but I’m really wasting my gym membership. Last year I was still going regularly 4-5 days a week, but that just seems crazy now. I’m lucky if I go twice a week now. I’m just so lazy, and eating so much and getting fat makes me lazier. Even when I do go to the gym I’m sluggish and get acid reflux. It’s just hard, I don’t know how I used to stay on top of it so well. I should probably cancel it altogether and use that money on food, or make a commitment to keep going. Hmm….

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God, I ate so much today it was incredible. I started with a slice of leftover cake from the Cheesecake Factory and a mega cheesy omelette with sausage. For the omelette I whipped the eggs with heavy cream and smeared a fistful of sour cream on top. It’s the weekend so I figured I’d treat myself and do a boozy espresso martini also made with heavy cream. I paired it with banana bread my friend had left me. The drink was strong and got me feeling rambunctious so I squeezed into some clothes and decided to walk to a nearby burger place and really push myself.

The jeans I wore were so tight and I could feel my love handles and belly bouncing above the waistline as I walked the three or so blocks to the burger place. I was already pretty stuffed but I figured the walk would help my digestion a bit so I could get some more food down. I was wrong. When I arrived I almost had second thoughts, but then I told myself “this is how fat guys do it” and imagined my belly twenty pounds bigger so that it would hang out of my shirt. I ordered a burger and fries with a boner growing inside my pants. When the cashier asked me if I wanted anything else my prick took over and I said a large chocolate milkshake.

I ate the food there and felt so uncomfortably full I had to call an Uber to take me home. I passed out on the couch almost immediately. When I woke up I was ready for more. I made two sandwiches and drank two cans of Coke. I was getting so aroused by my gluttony at this point that I made a mac n cheese casserole and popped it in the oven for later. I had a hard on the whole time.

I scrolled through Grommr while stroking myself and munching on chips. I watched a TV show and then the mac n cheese was done. I wasn’t that hungry but I needed to be a fat guy so I smoked some weed and dug into the mac. Like a true pig I used a serving spoon and ate directly out of the dish. I watched a movie while eating which was a good distraction and allowed me to get more down.

I was so stuffed at this point that I had to wait a few hours to let the food settle. But right before bed I made a massive gainer shake and ordered a whole cake delivered from the grocery store. I could only eat about a quarter of the cake and fell asleep with my belly more bloated than I’ve ever seen it.

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I’m lying in bed with my stomach sloshing full of food and a rock hard erection and blue balls. I’ve been at 229 pounds for too long now and I’m desperate to push past it. I made a rule for myself that I can’t come until I see 230 on the scale when my stomach is empty. I’m determined. Plus, the last ten pounds largely landed on my lower body which is cool and fine but I want some belly gains too. Everyone loves a fat ass, even guys who aren’t into the fetish, so I can’t complain. Like people stare at my ass all the time now. They always did, but especially now.

Still, I’m ready for the gut to grow. It’s been on the verge of an overhang for too long and I can’t stop fantasizing about having that delightful little fold right above my groin. It folds when I sit down but I want it 24/7. I wanna feel that thick roll of flesh get sweaty and musky when I’m active and chafe on the waistband of my pants. Fuck! It sounds so hot.

To help push past 229 I even went to the gym a few times this week and ate loads of protein in the hopes that a little muscle gain might tip the scale. Even though I want the belly fat most, I will do whatever it takes to shake this plateau. If the muscle gains won’t do it then hopefully the carton of heavy cream I chugged earlier will. Incidentally, I learned that chugging heavy cream is not easy. I normally chug melted ice cream and only use cream when I’m cooking. It was nasty to be honest, but it was a quick 1,500 calories so I can’t complain.

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I cracked 230 and am riding high. Gotta keep the momentum going because 250 is so close I can almost taste it. Got a comment from a friend the other day which was good encouragement and masturbation fuel. He’s a big guy too and we stopped for ice cream after a trip to the bookstore and he said: “Dude, I think you’re bigger than me now,” and poked my belly with his pointer finger, “I can remember when you were a twink not too long ago.” I was like instantly hard but tried to play it cool but probably gave myself away. I replied, “Yeah, it’s pretty crazy. Maybe I’m meant to be a bear someday.”

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Today I ate cereal because I was feeling lazy and then said “fuck it” and tried chugging some heavy cream. I haven’t done that in a while and couldn’t get much down. So I melted some ice cream instead and chugged that. I was wearing pants because I had a job interview in a few hours and they were so tight I had to unbutton them. It felt weird being in business clothes again after being unemployed or working remotely for so long. I looked fat in them and it made me horny.

After the interview (which went well) I stuffed myself in the McDonald’s parking lot with the pants buttoned. I was determined to eat until the button popped and I was successful. It was a little anticlimactic because it was more like the thread on the button slowly tore and my belly just oozed forward. Still, it was hot and I ended up jerking off right then and there even though there were people around. It feels so good to be a growing hog.

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I haven’t written for awhile because this new job has been keeping me busy. The good news is it is also keeping me fed. I’m paid well plus they cater lunch all the time so your boy is eating real good. Not only am I at 243 pounds, but also drum roll please I have FINALLY developed an overhang. I don’t know why it took my body so long for my belly to drop into that delicious hammock of chub, but it feels fucking amazing.

I cannot keep my hands off it. Since it first happened I’ve been jerking off like twice a day because it gets me so horny. Plus, now that I’m practically at 250, I really have a good idea of how 300 will feel. It’s kinda hard to imagine how an extra fifty pounds affects you until you’ve done it before, and now that I have I can’t wait. Another fun new development that came alongside the overhang is a bit of a belly shelf when I’m sitting. It’s not too dramatic, but it's getting there and I’d wager by 270 I’ll be able to balance a beer on top of it.

Also, bending over is a whole new thing. It’s not impossible but it requires a grunt and an awkward kind of sideways motion. I love it. I am starting to see how fat can really hinder your day to day life if it gets out of control (which is the plan). I’m still super mobile of course, but small things start to add up over time. Like bending over, standing up off the ground, and flights of stairs are not fun for me anymore and I’m learning to avoid those actions if possible. Naturally, the more I avoid them the fatter I will become until they’re no longer an option at all.

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Big news. As soon as I cracked 265 pounds stretch marks broke out all across my gut. Swear to god it started with a couple near my belly button and every week there’s like two or three more. This honestly feels surreal. I was able to put ten pounds on in two weeks which is pretty rapid and I think my body just can’t keep up with it anymore. It’s unbelievable and for the first time in awhile my upper body is getting so fat that my fat ass looks small in comparison. I feel like I’m truly taking on the shape of an overweight man. It’s hard to believe sometimes.

I haven’t been logging what I eat as much lately but during those two weeks where I gained ten pounds I discovered some new tricks. First, I started blending melted ice cream with a can of full fat coconut milk. Mega calories. I originally tried heavy cream but it was just too difficult to stomach and I’ve found coconut milk a lot easier to get down. The second thing is that I committed to adding a dessert to every single meal throughout the day. It seems simple, maybe even obvious, but I think it helped a lot. Finally, I started at the gym again. But this time I’m only doing 30 minutes of weight training on the machines a day which is easy but seems to have puffed me up a bit extra.

I’m feeling so fat now and I can’t wait for more.

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I’m considering calling it quits on this diary. I think I might just post it in full on Tumblr and then tweet the stuff I’d normally write here. I’m also getting a lot of attention online for my gains lately and I think people might be interested in reading this. Or they’d think it’s dumb. I don’t know. We’ll see.

For now, I’m happy to report that I ate an entire chocolate cake this morning, two burgers and a milkshake at lunch, and two medium size pizzas for dinner. I also had a mega weight gain shake after gym. All this down the hatch and it genuinely didn’t feel like a stretch. How incredible is that? When I started this diary thirty pounds ago that would have been a real marathon and now it’s just kinda normal. It’s crazy how you get used to this. I think that’s how you know that you’re officially a fat fucking pig because your normal is so extravagantly gluttonous there’s simply no turning back.

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I was walking past a reflective building today and was surprised to see that I’m on the verge of a waddle. It’s not quite there yet, but I definitely have that shoulders back, gut forward look about me now. It was so stunning to realize because I genuinely don’t walk around the world thinking of myself as a big guy, but that was fucking proof. My belly literally slopes outward in front of me now. There’s no hiding it. I couldn’t suck it in if I tried. I guess this is what 280 looks like.

Besides all the new stretch marks (and I swear to god there’s more every time I check), the biggest change I’ve noticed lately is how soft my fat pad is getting. To be honest, I was never that infatuated with fat pads. Like I understood the eroticism and how it’s something of a milestone showing you’re a legit fat guy, but I never before understood how fucking GOOD it feels to have one. It’s so fucking soft down there and it’s kinda like insulation for my cock. It’s great to be playing with yourself and just feeling all that soft fuzzy warmth around your pipe. Now I’m fucking obsessed and want it even bigger and want it to get stretch marks too. Fuck, I’m so hard just typing this out.

I’ve also had some mobility issues. Not like walking or anything dramatic like that, but when you’re in well-fitted clothes (and I don’t mean tight or too small, just shit that fits appropriately) it is still SO restricting. Especially business clothes. Like you can’t turn and bend as easily as you would if you were naked. Like on more than one occasion I’ve been in work clothes and was surprised to discover that I can’t reach something in the back seat of my car, or I try to scratch an itch on my side and it’s just slightly out of reach. I honestly don’t know how the four hundred pounders do it. Maybe I’ll find out someday.

In the meantime, I have decided to in fact call it quits on this little diary. It’s been hot for sure and maybe I’ll return to it someday, but it’s no longer really serving its purpose. When I first started it was kinda motivational or something. Like I was manifesting myself fatter and to be honest… it worked. Here I am. Fat as fuck and only getting bigger. The best part is that I have no doubt in my mind that I’ll growing endlessly.

I used to hit a plateau and feel like my life was ending. Now I just roll with the punches because I’m confident everything is just a phase. I’m a fat guy no matter what and I’m only going to be getting fatter. So long for now.