Lifeguard Off Duty: Chapter 2

Written by: gainerstories

Bradley woke up at 5 AM with a throbbing headache. He looked at the time, noticing a half-empty beer bottle on his nightstand, and groaned at the realization he had work in three hours. He had overdone it with beer the night before and immediately began strategizing how to cure his hangover. Groggy and half-awake he stumbled to the bathroom, noticing two more beer bottles next to his sink, and unleashed a torrent of urine. 

Entering the kitchen he was reminded that he had killed an entire pizza to himself in a drunken haze, the remnants of which lay on the countertop alongside several more empty beer bottles. Surveying his surroundings, he determined he had drank two six packs before ordering Domino’s. Filled with self-disgust, he began to clean the kitchen. How could he allow such a loss of control? Especially before his second day of work! 

After cleaning the kitchen and consuming lots of water and ibuprofen, Bradley’s stomach began aggressively growling. With his head still pounding, he knew there was only one solution to this hangover: greasy food. Knowing he had to do whatever it took to be in the best shape possible for work, he ordered a large McDonald’s breakfast delivered. 

Bradley hadn’t eaten McDonald’s in a year or so and the salty calorie-rich food filled him with both delight and self-loathing. This evening, he told himself, he’d hit the gym doubly hard. After polishing off his fast food with aplomb and taking a long hot shower, Bradley felt mostly renewed. Bloated from all the alcohol and sodium, he felt a tad self-conscious in his form-fitting work clothes. At least he wasn’t like the other tubs of lard at the office, he reasoned to himself. 

Bradley headed to work a bit foggy, but still full of vigor. Entering the building he said hello to Malcolm, whose wrinkled button-up displayed a food stain near the collar. Bradley eyed the stain with disdain. Does Malcolm have no self-respect? Bradley would’ve changed immediately had he spilled food on himself. He also noticed that Malcom’s shirt was unbuttoned surprisingly low, revealing an excess of chest hair. Bradley kept his body hair neatly trimmed to show off his impressive musculature, and the sight of Malcolm washed away any insecurity he had about his current bloated form.

Taking a seat next to Eric, Bradley was once again dismayed by his coworkers’ slovenly nature. Eric wore a polo shirt that barely covered the rounded belly that filled his lap. Were he to stretch or reach for something, Eric would surely expose his fattened midsection. His pants looked equally tight and frankly uncomfortable. Bradley felt restrained just by looking at Eric's curves squeezed into those tight clothes. Plus, for the second day in a row he was munching on fresh peanut brittle from the same bakery. 

“Want some?” Eric said, pushing the box towards his office mate. 

Bradley’s impulse was to refuse the sweet treats, but the aroma enticed him. He’d already ruined his diet for the day after having McDonald’s breakfast, so he allowed himself one last indulgence. The sweetness permeated his senses as he bit down on the peanut brittle and he actually felt a surge of pleasure overtake his body. This was the best peanut brittle he’d ever tasted, even better than his moms. He took note of the name on the box of treats. “Muffin Tops Bakery,” he’d have to try it on a special occasion. 

“Can I have just one more piece?” Bradley asked sheepishly. 

“Sure, dig in!” 

Bradley helped himself and then got to work. The day went slowly as he tried to remember everything he’d been trained on the day before. This demanded a higher level of focus than Bradley was used to exerting during his days as a lifeguard. By the time five o’clock rolled around he was absolutely drained. He knew he should go to the gym but could barely muster the energy. Waking up hungover and eating all those unhealthy foods, plus the stress of a new job, all left him yearning for his bed.

Even still, he drove to the gym. Sitting in the parking lot he stared at the glowing sign of 24 Hour Fitness. There was no way he could accomplish a full workout in his current state. Then he noticed something out of the corner of his eye- it was Muffin Tops Bakery. Without giving it a second thought he started up his car and drove towards the bakery. He parked outside and walked up to the door only to discover they had already closed for the night.