Which one of these edits do you prefer?
Added 2025-07-23 22:37:22 +0000 UTCThis is the latest sketch I wrote for Hard Pass. If you aren't aware Hard Pass is my internet sketch comedy team with Colin Stanley aka @littlevictorianboy and Karalynn Dunton. We all take turns writing sketches, and we usually edit and post whichever sketches we write. However, we did recently launch a page exclusively for our sketches so be sure to follow @hardpass_comedy if you aren't already. ANYWAY, here are two edits of the sketch. The first is a little longer with a different ending, the second is... well... shorter and well... with a different ending.
Little BTS background on the idea behind this sketch. I did an audition for Tide where the commercial was basically just a guy saying he liked Tide and that he'd be switching to Tide. It was incredibly generic. As straight forward and simple as commercials get. But the character breakdown was absolutely insane. It was five pages long and it kept talking about how he works at the best deli in town and eats the best sandwich for lunch every day and how he's not a sad, sarcastic loser from the struggling class (it actually said that word for word), and how he really likes Tide and it's not a joke. Genuinely five pages of repeating that information over and over and nowhere in the actual script did it ever once even hint that this character worked at a deli or enjoyed the world's best sandwich for lunch every day. It was only in the breakdown. I'm pretty sure the breakdown was written by chatGPT because that's the only explanation that makes any kind of sense. Anyway, enjoy! And let me know your thoughts in the comments of course!
Comments
The first one is better for me and I love the face of disappointment st thrn and then you guys being like perfect and the fuck yeahs and the end killed me lol
Branden Cook
2025-07-28 05:46:52 +0000 UTCSecond edit is perfect ✨✨✨
Sacred Vandalism
2025-07-28 01:00:44 +0000 UTCSo good. My stomach hurt from laughing. So relatable, and I’m not even an actor.
Alysa MacRae
2025-07-25 22:45:53 +0000 UTCVersion 2…tighter cuts and better feel
Carter1214
2025-07-25 19:02:54 +0000 UTCI like the first one. The humor is about how over the top maddening the directors are so going a little longer is squeezing the lemon
Laura Plybon
2025-07-25 09:58:11 +0000 UTCNumber 1 for sure
shane doherty
2025-07-25 00:58:17 +0000 UTCI like version 2 better 😊
Camille
2025-07-24 23:42:07 +0000 UTCThe same, extremely sarcastic, or like they're just mocking women or the poor. It would give it more dimension.
Mally_and_the_concrete_duckies
2025-07-24 23:08:09 +0000 UTCI think if they gave some examples of how they want it said, but either sound exactly
Mally_and_the_concrete_duckies
2025-07-24 23:07:29 +0000 UTCI like the first one, but I’m also a sad pathetic loser from the working class. I also eat mediocre sandwiches so take my opinion with a box of salt.
Jessica
2025-07-24 22:13:19 +0000 UTC2nd
Michelle Miller
2025-07-24 20:39:34 +0000 UTCI liked the 2nd one better
Kayleigh Anderson
2025-07-24 19:51:33 +0000 UTCAt first I really liked the 1st version better but then, after watching a few times, I really like the 1st version better, with the addition of the ending card. Really did appreciate the rest/reset moment in between the 2 offerings, that really did help.
Teresa
2025-07-24 18:06:53 +0000 UTCI liked the 2nd better 😊
000
2025-07-24 17:46:33 +0000 UTCThe first edit is good but the second one is good
Shaye Gresham
2025-07-24 16:58:49 +0000 UTC✌️
Jamey Lauren Ross
2025-07-24 12:22:50 +0000 UTCFor some reason I like the idea of posting the same edit several times in a row but the only difference is the ending card that pops up which becomes more unhinged
Andy
2025-07-24 06:32:42 +0000 UTCDid you get the tide gig?
Barbara Pearl
2025-07-24 04:37:40 +0000 UTCI liked the first one but I barely noticed the difference (I am truly unobservant: one day I said to my wife, “did you change your hair” and she replied, “yea! A week ago! Thanks for noticing!” And that was 30+ years ago and i still hear about it!
Jeff
2025-07-24 03:39:55 +0000 UTCI liked the first edit better. And I loved the whole concept and execution.
Matt
2025-07-24 01:48:21 +0000 UTCI didn’t even notice the difference. Am I stupid? I might be stupid
I have never given a woman an orgasm
2025-07-24 00:35:05 +0000 UTCI liked the conciseness of the 2nd edit, but I think the 1st edit with a little more build up, fills in a little more of the plot and ends up being more funny.
Harris Braziel
2025-07-23 23:38:41 +0000 UTCI liked the first edit for a single tik tok sketch. If it were for a series of sketches, like if these were reoccurring characters, i like the second edit better. Idk why.
Eugene Ryan
2025-07-23 23:03:41 +0000 UTCI think the first one just because the beginning felt smoother, more organic. But who the fuck am I?
Stephen Brophy
2025-07-23 23:00:03 +0000 UTCYou and your friends are super funny and talented. My vote is number 2! Feels tighter.
Elise Tanner
2025-07-23 22:58:33 +0000 UTCIt’s actually *splamp, with a P at the end
Austin Archer
2025-07-23 22:57:37 +0000 UTCI liked the first edit!
Evan Shearman
2025-07-23 22:56:47 +0000 UTCColin gets told he looks like Bill Pullman ALL the time. He definitely does.
Austin Archer
2025-07-23 22:56:41 +0000 UTCWord.
Austin Archer
2025-07-23 22:56:17 +0000 UTCI must be honest here, the second take really sold the fact that she is a winner who has the best sandwich every day for lunch and she is not a sad pathetic loser from the low, struggling class, but in the first one I got more excitement about switching to Splamp... I'm struggling, I might need Splamp too!
Camilla Catalfamo
2025-07-23 22:56:12 +0000 UTCI feel like the first, but maybe that's because that's just the first one I watched...
yeast+grain
2025-07-23 22:53:59 +0000 UTCAlso, not sure when you’ve last watched “Space Balls”, but Collin is Bill Pullman. He would CRUSH Lone Starr.
Erik D Leach
2025-07-23 22:53:42 +0000 UTC2nd edit
Erik D Leach
2025-07-23 22:51:41 +0000 UTCOmg the mimed sandwich eating at 1:08 KILLED me 😂😂😂
Elise Tanner
2025-07-23 22:51:05 +0000 UTCLOL! I like the first one 🤣 The second is an amusing ending but not really necessary imo. I like it just ending with the men having internal orgasms, rofl.
Andrea Lindsay
2025-07-23 22:50:05 +0000 UTCWhat is splam? You love it 🤣🤣🤣 this was a good skit, sunken heads at the end to only say she nailed it was great. Why do I want to try splam? Did your skit actually work? I kinda wanna know what splam is
Anthony Ocean
2025-07-23 22:45:42 +0000 UTCI think the second one makes it feel more complete. Like there's some resolve at the end, and the fact that she looks a bit dejected in the ad is a nice touch. I'm going number 2, but either way, this is an excellent sketch! I love you 3 so much!
Scott Phillips
2025-07-23 22:45:30 +0000 UTC2nd edit for me
Sarah A Cunha
2025-07-23 22:44:30 +0000 UTC
