You've waited for it-
Added 2023-09-30 13:14:24 +0000 UTCIt's over here!
(As always, make sure you properly closed the Patreon app/Safari/Chrome (whatever the PDF opens with, including tabs). If it says the file is now in the owner's trash it means you're trying to open the old link. It can take a few tries but you'll be able to read it don't worry!
Seems like opening it through your mail -> safari (and note the Patreon app) solves the problem.)
Please read the pages first, this post contains spoilers!
Where to start... first, on a general note: contrary to what one might think, what is revealed in this scene was never intended as a plot twist (and it isn't one). From the beginning, I knew that with a story like this, readers would quickly understand that Black Death is connected to the Boy.
It serves to set up a sword of Damocles hanging over the main couple. From now on, the biggest concern we should have is, 'how will the characters handle the revelation of this secret? Will the couple hold together or, on the contrary, break apart?'
Don't worry, if the plot twist isn't here as I mentioned, it's because there are more to come later in the story. I tried to write cleverly haha.
___
I'll be honest there's so much to say about this update that I don't know what to mention lol. Each of the sentences carries so much meaning and information, and it's not even half of the Boy's monologue!
Everything in this scene was very important, and if something is raising questions, there's probably a good reason for it!
I've always tried to have a story driven by my characters. Something emotional and deep. So, it was essential to have characters with well-developed, touching, and meaningful psychology. I hope it becomes apparent here, especially with the Boy.
For instance, we understand how the influence of his grandmother and her religious teachings contributed to his understanding of the incident. He was just a child who had been told that a cross was a symbol of protection. And when his brother erased that cross, he immediately thought that God had punished them for it. I found it interesting to have a character who fears the potential existence of God. Typically, people either believe or don't.
(I'd like to clarify that this in no way represents my own beliefs. I crafted a character with a thought process that was, in my opinion, most consistent with his backstory.)
You can notice that when the Boy looks up at the sky, it's completely dark, without stars. It's a way to illustrate what he thinks: the sky is empty, there's no one up there.
The Boy didn't choose the word "miracle" randomly, by the way. He also drops Tera necklace as he says "everybody died, except me", because this marked his break with religion.
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"I wasn't myself anymore" is a subtle point that may not be immediately noticed and understood by many readers. I'll give you a moment to think about it...
It's a point that won't be further developed by the Boy. Like many other things, I like to let readers know that it's been thought out and explored, but it's up to them to piece it together to understand. I don't want this story to be facts on facts. Even there: the Boy is revealing his past, tho it's made in a very personal. It's all about how it felt for him.
There will be one or two occasions that allude to it, but that's it. So, I'll only develop it on Patreon:
Following "the incident" involving Black Death, the Boy was placed under witness protection. He didn't just lose his family and his home, but also his identity. "They expected me to be someone else."
This is also one of the major reasons why the boy doesn't have a name from a symbolic perspective. Because this new name, it's not him. He places little importance on it.
This is also why his uncle stayed to live with him: to protect him.
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These pages must have answered many of your questions while also raising a lot of them I guess.
What's the connection between Black Death and the Boy's family? What exactly happened that night, and why? Was Tera already a member of the group? If so, does he know who is the Boy? Why didn't the Boy recognize Tera or the other Black Death members?
I'd like to emphasize an important point: the Boy hasn't really forgotten much from that night. I'm not a fan of characters who conveniently forget a major part of their past just to advance the plot. So... there's something else going on. Smarter. In fact, these pages, in the way they present a particular aspect of the Boy, contain part of the answer. I know, it all sounds very mysterious. Other elements will come later, don't worry (but not too much, it's me, Z-Pico lol).
Just pay close attention to what's being said.
I couldn't talk about eveything, but you're free to mention everything that's going on in you head right now!
I'd be happy to read your thoughts!
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As always, thank you for your support, you make them possible!
Comments
I came back again with a rather dark question. When the Boy says "the whole building" and "everybody died" does he mean everyone in the building, and his family, died? If so that makes this fire the most deadly event we've heard about in the story so far, and that feels very important.
Rin
2023-10-09 04:25:33 +0000 UTCEh the message left kinda early accidentally. But maybe I already said what I was thinking. I just need Author to know how much I love this story and how much you have already given us. I know its not good thing to compare works, but nothing comes close to this. The artwork, characters, anatomy, fashion, story, violence and gore, the-show and no tell -communication type. It ticks all the boxes for me. And now the symbolism also. I have to reread this with the patreon, and look what the author and other patreons are telling about new pages.
quarkwizard
2023-10-05 06:42:23 +0000 UTCNew patreon here. I thought that it's illegal to read B&W for free and I wanted to support the author. I had no idea that the story was so much ahead in patreon than in tapas. when I found out and started to read new pages: the first new page for me was Tera standing in the room and boy making his homework. I had to but my phone down, take couple deep breathes and thank the God (and creator ofc), bc it was so goooooood. And then the new pages just kept giving, serving even. The puzzle scene. I don't know how i was living without it, before i read it. And now this, the story starting to really unfold. My reading session with these new pages left me scared and worried. hoo boy we are in danger.
quarkwizard
2023-10-05 06:27:10 +0000 UTC(This is going to be some babble, sorry in advance) I re-read the B&W… And now I feel like I owe Tera and the Boy an apology. I had a lot of theories thumbling through my head after that last update, including some ulterior motives (although no malice intent) on Tera’s side… which I now declare to be utter bullshixx. Re-reading all chapters – Tera has been nothing but patient, kind and indeed very thoughtful – and even though he kept showing up time and again – it wasn’t to control or pry or… whatever went through my head. (Yes, I am ashamed ^^’ and obviously dumb as a doorknob when it comes to patching together the obvious.) Can I blame it on the fact that secrets make me paranoid? Those revelations made me question a lot of things – but upon trying to validate those theories with facts from the story so far, I had to cross it all off the list. Well, almost all things. There are still some things left on the list: 1. Their meeting in that alley was coincidence – twice (Tera “landing” on Jo’s car, the Boy crashing his bike into Muta) 2. Tera was not just worried about the trouble the boy got himself into, but also about his well-being and that right from the start (I mean, amputating scratched hands and all…) 3. Whenever the boy got “hurt” with Tera involved, it wasn’t with intent (slamming the boy into a wall by accident when trying to safe him, throwing him from a rooftop onto another – while trying to save him - and well, when the boy bumped his head on the floor during their play-fight). Tera always immediately adjusted. 4. Tera loves to make the Boy blush 5. It’s hard to picture that any other member of Black Death might got hurt and ordered around as much as the Boy did with Tera 6. The Boy’s granny IS his granny and his uncle IS his uncle – witness-protection or not 7. Bob does remember the Boy from years ago – and to me, Bob is suspicious since he exchanged looks with Tera while the Boy in Jo’s trunk tried to explain “that’s the guy, from the robbery” – honestly, that should have rung a bell – I think I saw this kind of glance from Tera when he was eying the clerk in the bank… and Bob seems to be the first to arrive on the scene of “the bloodbath”, as he called it in his text to the Boy’s uncle 8. The Boy stopped his efforts to rat Tera out after Jo told him about his brother 9. Tera admires the Boy for being so reckless and brave to fight back – maybe because when he was “just a scrawny kid”, he couldn’t… yet 10. Kain stopped coming by to see Jo “6 or 7 years ago” – which might be exactly the time when the black cross appeared on the door of the Boy’s home 11. Tera said he was 16 when he dropped out of school – I think there was an initiation rite for becoming full members of Black Death for him and Kain… 12. I believe that the only moment when Tera realized the full impact and pieces coming together was when the Boy told him about the black cross. 13. Tera did notice that the Boy was shaking in fear and couldn’t answer any of his questions beyond the beggar, the sleeper and the father 14. Tera did the same for the Boy as the Boy did for Jo – telling him something about himself to make it easier to open up 15. The Boy did pay attention (to some extent) to everything Black Death related – he was simply not interested enough. Just when the burning building was on TV and Black Death was mentioned he was wondering why a crew of bank robbers should commit arson – just then he started to question Tera and “their” motives (maybe he’ll even start quoting their name correctly now, since the spotlight is on) 16. Tera didn’t answer the Boy’s question if he has someone he can’t see anymore – they all might have more in common than they think (Jo, the Boy and Tera alike) I’ll go from here… and see what else I got all wrong. Can’t wait for the next update. I love the clever storytelling and how real they all are. Incredible personalities.
Mellowcat
2023-10-04 18:46:53 +0000 UTCHey Rin!!! All your thoughts are very interesting, it's truly a pleasure to read!!! Thank you for being so involved in the story, it's the best reward for an author, haha. First, I'll answer your latest question: Actually, the Boy's behavior isn't so much an evolution but a response. As you pointed out, he is very chatty and friendly towards everyone! It's his desperate desire to be on good terms with everyone. He quickly defined Joris as a friend even though Joris rejects him quite a bit. It's because he clings to it; he can't really define what friendship is anymore, but no matter, he just wants it so bad! For your other questions, I can't answer everything! The Boy will talk more about that night later; there's still a lot to learn! I think it's worth noting that, from the way he talks, you can guess that the Boy is repeating what he's been told. He talks about the 'accident' probably because that's what he was told. We'll learn more about his personal perspective later! One small point: the Boy didn't lose faith; he never really had it. He grew up in that environment without questioning it. Afterward, he did question it: If there is a god, is he good? "'You have no one to be angry at anymore' is an excellent point; in the next update, we should realize how the boy experienced the aftermath, his confusion, and how he grew from it. "'I think Tera's fear was human.' IntEresStiNgggg , haha!
Z-Pico
2023-10-04 09:59:58 +0000 UTCMy brain hurts now. I need to read some pages again to fully understand the meaning of it all. I still have one question: in chapter six (I hope at least) there was a scene with Tera and the boy, when Tera gets dressed and the boy helps him and ends up pulling on Tera’s pubic hair. It is missing now. Did you have to remove it? I liked that scene a lot.
Lieschen Müller
2023-10-02 20:45:53 +0000 UTCI love being on this journey as you update each month. Beautiful art and a stunning story. Can’t wait for more! I always read these updates too fast. 🖤
Kay☆
2023-10-01 21:46:28 +0000 UTCThe way Tera's mask's eyes glow is so mysterious and ominous. I just wanna know what he's thinking during this >w<
Emily Hoselton
2023-10-01 20:05:46 +0000 UTCAnother "what if" coming to mind... What if... the boy's uncle is a co-worker, and friend, of the boy's dad, posing as his uncle now - to protect what's left of the family. EDIT: SKIP THAT ABOVE THEORY: In Chapter 10 Pg. 22 "Grandma Anna" says: "I am happy to have a son helping me out, but I would rather see him happy with a family" Maybe that would be a reason for witness-protection - because usually a surviving kid is just that... until there are further relations which might make it ... personal. Currently, Black Death might not be looking for the kid which survived - since they think he's dead. You don't go looking for someone you think is dead. I really have to re-read everything, because there are so many (crazy) theories coming to mind, which probably won't make sense in the whole picture. Pico called it a "Damocles Sword" - this is usually related to a potential threat. Something that possibly can and will destroy, if revealed. Or, if taken more historically and less proverbial - it's a lesson about power and wealth not being the resolve or the protection agains threats but rather the cause of those problems. A threat itself. So, whatever it is... it's a threat for the both of them and their relationship. So I doubt it's something so grave that it would terminate the whole dynamic from the get-go. I doubt either one has ill-intentions towards the other. Gosh, I'll get a whiplash from frantically exploring in all the different directions. (Still, so much fun!)
Mellowcat
2023-10-01 14:12:08 +0000 UTCanon
2023-10-01 11:01:19 +0000 UTCgot chills !!!! always love your writing !!!
doll
2023-10-01 08:16:39 +0000 UTCTera all like: "uuuuh... wrong question." I live that we can't tell what exactly he's thinking, except that he's really uncomfortable right now. I feel like belief is such a personal topic to ask someone and to me it kinda feels like Tera might be deflecting with his "you don't?" Reveal as little as possible. Okay, now my ideas are running away with me. And thanks for the witness protection hint. I did not think that far. 🙈
Fumachan
2023-10-01 06:58:16 +0000 UTCHi Aj, as far as I could calculate (and that doesn't mean a thing, since me and math don't go well together... at all!) The boy could have been around 10 when it all happened - that was hinted in one of the sessions with Lee (after the bank robbery, when Lee looked at the pictures the boy drew in the sessions he had with him). Lee marked them each with an age. Also, currently, the boy is 17. Tera is "in his early 20's" - 21-23 Kain is 1 year older than Tera Jo is currently 19 Kain and Tera dropped out of school when they were "around 15/16". So I assume Tera was 15 and Kain 16. (Though Tera says in Ch. 11 pg. 20 that he dropped out when he was 16). When the incident happend (if it actually was when the boy was around 10) they would have been between 14-16 or 15-17 - Jo might have been 12 then... and the boys brother... maybe 13-15? But that's really just guessing. The Tiger is in his 30s so... possible that his current crew was already involved back then... I think? Kain made a point to emphasize how much he likes a survivor... to make them remember... to make it all haunt them. He is talking about orphans... I just wonder if those long ears of his mask could turn to horns in a kids imagination. And Tera is the link to Kain. The boy said so himself and we got a glimpse at their backstory - they were together as friends even before Black Death - when Tera did his best to NOT be at his home but come over to Kain and Jo. Just guessing here of course ^^' Have a nice weekend. =^.^=
Mellowcat
2023-10-01 06:49:59 +0000 UTCThe mask's eyes go bright and dark. It seems like that depends on whether or not Tera understands what's being told to him in this update. So it seems like he too is questioning his own identity.
Penny McClure
2023-10-01 00:04:54 +0000 UTCWhy was I the only one blindsided by this?
Artiø Vollrath
2023-09-30 23:45:06 +0000 UTCI don’t think there’s any way that Tera had been in the Black Death at the time the boy’s family was killed; though we don’t know ages, I don’t think Tera would be that much older than the boy (and I don’t think Black Death would accept children). I assume something tragic happened to Tera that made him turn to gang life as a way to start over. Like Joris said, Tera and his brother were just regular kids; playing video games and stuff. And then one day their big bad gang members? There’s definitely a motive there! I’m so curious to hear why Tera joined the Black Death (he doesn’t seem like a cruel person around the boy or joris, despite doing cruel things to others). I also can’t wait to hear Tera’s reaction to the Boy’s revelation
Aj
2023-09-30 21:49:00 +0000 UTCI was totally expecting it, I knew it, but my question is, Boy should know it, shouldn’t him??, cause he has seen the news and everybody knows black cross is the symbol of Black Death, is he playing dumb or something?? 🧐
Rebeca Audelo
2023-09-30 17:55:19 +0000 UTCLa forme dans son cauchemar peut ressembler à une tête d'animal... peut-être qu'il a tout vu, mais que sa mémoire, lui cache des choses!!
LadyKya
2023-09-30 17:35:28 +0000 UTCThere's just so much to talk about and I love it all. Also, the boy always dreaming about a stag like face keeps popping into my thoughts now. Pico you are so clever, and an amazing story teller
Mod.Colette
2023-09-30 16:38:04 +0000 UTCThis left me absolutely gutted. Imagine being told to your face that either you (maybe Tera was an Initiate at the time) or your specific circle were not only responsible for the death of a family and the orphanization of a young boy, but also the loss of hope and identity. Especially because Tera seems to believe in God, I wonder how that must shake him to know that he may he be involved in destroying a child's innocence and faith. I loved this update. Thank you for crushing me emotionally.
Mod.Colette
2023-09-30 16:29:54 +0000 UTCI enjoy your chapter insights just as much as the updates themselves, it’s so nice to speculate but even better to know the actual drive behind the plot and characters! Every new update feels like the climax, I can’t imagine the mayhem the actual climax will cause. 🥹 every little thing ties together, you put so much thought into this!
Dani H
2023-09-30 16:28:28 +0000 UTCThe gears are turning in my head and I have so many questions, but I'll withhold from sharing, so as to not be rambling on here. Thank you for another fantastic update! 🫶🏽
Nas
2023-09-30 16:24:18 +0000 UTCAwesome update! Incredible art and story-telling! So, what if that puzzle piece the boy held during their conversation "something in Teras past".... was something, like burning down a building, killing a family. And also - maybe - getting a kid out, miraculously... and the boy knows. What if "something in your past" was meant as an opening for Tera... What if sharing all the informations the boy already did was to get Tera to also open up - like the boy did back then with Jo, by sharing the "story" of the loss of his own brother. What if Teras observation about the boy not fearing him... his intimidating entrances... were to test the water and see, if he does remember something? Him?
Mellowcat
2023-09-30 16:17:52 +0000 UTCOMG I love this! Love it had a feeling that the boys family was kill by some one but to find that surprise and twist loovvveee it.
Grimmanimefan1
2023-09-30 14:43:29 +0000 UTC...It couldn't have been a random killing though or they wouldn't have put the Boy under protection. I believe he may know what caused it to some degree.
Terra
2023-09-30 14:36:35 +0000 UTCThis really puts the scene where the boy's uncle see him at the bank in a new light.
BlueInkPens
2023-09-30 14:20:11 +0000 UTCWatching them start to navigate each other in a more personal way while still keeping the boundaries of the mask. It's like they push each other without them shoging the other off. It all leaves me just as thirsty for more as always
Logan
2023-09-30 14:09:33 +0000 UTCOooh damn!!!! Well that's interesting! I'm happy with it haha!
Z-Pico
2023-09-30 13:55:28 +0000 UTCI feel so dumb lol you planted the clues and I saw them but I didn't catch on. So that plot twist definitely caught me by surprise.
Tianna Le’Ray
2023-09-30 13:52:40 +0000 UTCI have the bad feeling that in order to be part of Black Death Tera had to get his hands dirty. And the task given to him was exactly that: killing someone. We have seen, that he is no stranger to that and considering his and the boys estimated age it could check out. It would also explain Teras reaction. Yeah, marking victims with a cross is the mark of Black Death but group affiliation is generally something that you know and accept, but he was startled, almost scared. You only do that when you feel personally responsible. Tera knew that the boy lost his family, added everything up and got the result. Regarding the question of their future. A part of me wants to be cruel and see lines like "That night you killed an entire family, noone survived. Whoever I was after that will not forget the murder it witnessed, it's own death. And the dead don't love." (yes, cruel but damn good). Another part wants to see some form of happy ending. Maybe not a couple because it would be borderline Stockholm Syndrome, but maybe the boy will come to terms with it and they will be friends. And another part thinks that the boy will be terrified of Tera and see him as the personification of his nightmares even in real life and will start to avoid him or even tell the police in order to defeat his nightmares, but in the process break his mind out if sheer sorrow. So, I see we are in for a ride and I am most definitely hooked.
Michael Lohmeier
2023-09-30 13:50:53 +0000 UTCMy heart. That poor sweet boy. 🥲
SweetPikaGirl
2023-09-30 13:38:27 +0000 UTCAll I can say is this chapter hit hard if you know what I mean, the thoughts n emotions running through me is 'OMG', Tera and Boy relationship just got even more interesting now that Black Death is involved, can't wait for next chapter thanks Z ❤️
Ah'Ran
2023-09-30 13:35:20 +0000 UTCI love that we can’t see Tera’s reaction through his mask… but you sort of FEEL it. Made the revelation incredibly powerful yet still subtle. I always assumed his family was killed by Black Death, but I thought it was more of a “got stuck in the crossfire” type of thing, not a direct hit! Makes me want to know more about the boy’s older brother now…
SammiiSpark
2023-09-30 13:33:44 +0000 UTCTera‘s mind after this revelation probably : „protecc this boi at all cost“ 😭😭😭 really curious about how Tera will respond to this now … will he offer revenge for him? Will he help him find out what happened? I‘m on the edge of my seat 💀💀💀
Mym Phoenix McFly
2023-09-30 13:32:30 +0000 UTCWas the scene "There was a black cross painted on our door" impactful enough?? I like it, I hope y'all do too!
Z-Pico
2023-09-30 13:24:48 +0000 UTCNot that this came as a surprise to me, from the very beginning it was clear that the death of the Boy's family was somehow connected with the Black Death. But it still gave me goosebumps. Did Tera know about this? Did he take part in this murder? How does he feel knowing that he is involved in the death of his crush’s relatives? And most importantly, why are there so many days in a month?!😭I will die waiting for the update!
Someone#Somewhere
2023-09-30 13:23:45 +0000 UTCI got the feeling after I saw teras eye's he know something about it.... I got a bad feeling. Uff. I hope not. But poor baby boy :'(
Eli
2023-09-30 13:23:27 +0000 UTCI knew the Black Death had something to with the Boys trauma/family's death but DAMN
ponyo
2023-09-30 13:19:27 +0000 UTComg omg omg omg
ponyo
2023-09-30 13:19:04 +0000 UTCGoddammit I've been so chattyqzqmrlwksjflkrjsgf-
Z-Pico
2023-09-30 13:14:57 +0000 UTC
