The Chronicle of Matahouroa Chapter 1: Waste of Time

 A small sliver of sunlight passed through the window, their lids open.  It landed away from Panahihou's eye, but still he felt it, he felt that  small dart pinch his shadows like a mosquito bite. He grunted, an  unpleasantly raspy noise, and rose his head. His eyes opened, but a  nictitating membrane kept a final barrier between the unholy blue and  the mostly natural black.

Effortlessly, he grabbed the ray like a string and crushed it, his shadows stalling day for a while still.

Not  needing to see, he preened, removing slimy stains from his black, oily  feathers. It was a combined effort of jaws and talons, clinical yet  animalistic. Some feathers were deliberately broken, shafts snapped and  barbules disjointed for good, giving him an unkempt appearance.  Panahihou loved this sort of "damaged" look, but as of late the  possibility that it reflected his emotional state began to dawn on him.

And like all dawns, it was an uncalled enlightenment.

He  finished up quickly, and flapped his wings. The noise prompted a brief  grunting next to him, followed by a shift in the nest-like bed. His head  turned, and his eyes finally opened fully. Feluz was still there,  huddling in the bed sheets. Even in the darkness Panahihou could  experience his fellow planeswalker in a manner akin to sight. He knew  his rosy, naked skin apart from the white sheets, the messy brown hair  from the slightly darker plant fibers at the edges of the nest.

He  observed his young lover intently. He didn't quite know what to make of  him. Generally, Panahihou's life of hedonism meant many passions that  lasted until the moment of ecstasy. After that, they would go on good or  bad terms, but they'd leave - sometimes not with their souls. Yet,  while he was satisfied with most arrangements, he could feel a lapse of  some sort, a longing for something... more.

His  interactions with others of his species, the Kawau, were limited to his  brother Pukehou and uncle Hinuhou. Through them, he learned that Kawau  generally formed pairs, sometimes lasting for life, sometimes falling  apart due to frictions. The dark Aven were ambitious and selfish by  nature, so love was rarely fated to survive. Hinuhou told him that his  parents gave him away to the necromancer without a second thought,  already plotting behind each other's back. Neither plotting survived to  see victory: Hinuhou had them murdered, and offered fragments of the  skulls to the brothers, the only gift he had ever given the two.

To  Panahihou, love had became especially confusing as the bond with his  brother grew. Under their uncle's madness, they had each other, a bond  they knew in some way was unusual for their kind. They had each other's  backs, each other's shoulders, and managed to endure and nurture.  Nothing would have come between them, until that fate day.

The  memories left a bitter taste. In one second that connection was gone,  and it took another full year for Panahihou to feel anything akin to joy  again.

And, for a time, that was all he felt. Every waking  moment was devoted to his whims, trying to make up for the lost time and  the void constantly increasing, day after day and week after month.  Nothing but time being perpetually wasted, nothing but time being stolen  from him, and the irony of it all was starting to become clear.

A  shift in the bed interrupted Panahihou's nascent mood-swings, and his  eyes focused on Feluz again. The human was trying to stretch, but the  nest edges stalled his efforts. A yawn followed after, and Panahihou  flew out of the bed, his wings carrying him a short distance.

He  looked at the multiple hanging beams, supporting his clothes at his eye  level. There really wasn't much of a need for him to dress, beyond  catering to humanoid social norms, but he always did it in style. As he  decided on what to wear, he could feel Feluz shifting the bed.

"I'm not going to kick you out" Panahihou said, not removing his sight from the clothes.

"T-thanks" said Feluz nervously.

A silence followed. Panahihou let Feluz have his moment to vent out any awkwardness.

Experience taught the Kawau that many humanoids felt awfully embarrassed about realizing that they had sex with a bird.  At first Panahihou had found this somewhat offensive, but it wasn't  long until even these negative reactions had become a source of  entertainment for him. They knew what they bought was a phrase his uncle often used in "retaliation sessions", and for once Panahihou agreed fully with that lunatic.

It  quickly became clear that Feluz wasn't embarrassed, or at least not in  any way Panahihou could perceive as comical. Instead, the silence was  awkward for the Aven, but also made his acquaintance more appealing.

"Do you have a home?" Panahihou asked, almost instinctively.

"Excuse me?" said Feluz, more alert.

"Do you have a family? Do you have a place where you can always go to, a place where they're waiting for you?"

"Why are you asking this?" said Feluz confusedly. Panahihou felt a hint of hesitancy.

"Well, I've been a good host..."

His  head turned slightly towards Feluz, allowing the human to see the  alluring wink. Feluz blushed, bringing his palm to the forehead.

"...and you've been an excellent guest."

This  time Panahihou turned fully towards Feluz. Both of them were naked, but  the human still had the modesty of the sheets while the Aven strutted  his black, slightly iridescent plumage. Panahihou walked towards the  bed, shoulders low and wings dragging like a cape, the bright blue eyes  looking right into Feluz's own.

"And good hosts and good guests can get together more often..."

A scaly foot unto the bed, the neck and head low, facing the human directly.

"I enjoyed our night together, didn't you?" Panahihou said huskily.

Panahihou  lowered himself on the bed, next to Feluz in the sheets. Their bodies,  side by side, were very equivalent in terms of tension, visible or  otherwise.

"I did, a lot" Feluz said, touching Panahihou's lower jaw, "I hope we can do this again."

"Still,  in all the fun we've had, we didn't really stop by to know about each  other, did we?" Panahihou said, gentling taking Feluz's hand off his  face and cupping it with his own talons.

"Except when you ranted  about your uncle and the Nezumi" Feluz said, and almost immediately  regretted it, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you-"

Panahihou  preened Feluz's hair gently with his long jaws. Feluz moaned softly,  and moved his head in accordance to the beak's movements, before the  moment stopped and Panahihou looked into his eyes.

"Do you have a home?" he asked once more.

Feluz sighed, and looked to the side.

"I do" Feluz reminisced sadly, "Or had, I guess."

Feluz's knees met his elbows, and he buried his face.

"Back  in my home I was a sunrunner. Still haven't seen other sunrunners in  other planes, but then again I'm new at this whole thing."

The  Aven's plumage puffed slightly. Anything with "sun" in it's name was  likely yet another obnoxious enforcer of the light. It would be crucial  to have the upper hand, just in case.

"In my home plane the sun  needs help moving across the sky, so every day I would light a torch and  run my way across the fields and the mountains, all day long."

"No offense, but you don't seem like a runner" Panahihou said, a talon poking Feluz's belly.

"Hey,  I just eat a lot" Feluz said, elbowing Panahihou's chest in turn, "And  speaking of which, we should go get some breakfast. I'm starving."

"Figures" Panahihou muttered.

***

They  had made their way to a tavern, larger and more elegantly decorated  than they one where they've met, painted with vivid purples and blues.  It had a more somber atmosphere than Panahihou preferred, but he  treasured it greatly as the result of one of his most vicious and bloody  conflicts.

"Wow, is that what I think it is?" Feluz asked, pointing at the black sun in the ceiling.

"Yes" Panahihou confirmed proudly, "You know about the guilds of Ravnica?"

"A little. Had a scuffle with some arresters the first time I planeswalked here."

"Part of your intriguing backstory I'm sure" Panahihou quipped, motioning to the bartender.

They  sat down, a goblin waiter carrying in plentiful plates: one with smoked  salmon, a brown edge around the chunks signifying some deliberately  induced rot, and the other with a variety of local pastries. The goblin,  still bearing the brand of its formal masters, was excited and wanted  to join in, but Panahihou waved dismissively. At that sign, the waiter  made itself scarce, much to Feluz's confusion and concern.

"They're  free and paid, in case you're wondering" Panahihou said, his hooked  bill carefully grabbing a paper-thin chunk and lifting it, letting it  slide down slowly to his throat, "I saved them from slavery under the  Orzhov. Can't stand it in any way, shape or form."

"That's pretty noble" Feluz said, his eyes glimmering with awe and appreciation.

"No,  it's not noble at all" Panahihou nodded bitterly, "It's just that I  hate being reminded of what I went through. I'm not a sociopath,  unfortunately, so I can still see myself in others. And I've been there,  done that, for so long."

"If you see yourself in others then  that means you care" Feluz said, eating a white, sugar-caped pastry,  "Maybe not much but at least enough."

Panahihou shrugged. He  normally hated being lectured on morality - something so utterly  pointless and that only wasted his time further - but Feluz was pretty  non-judgemental and relaxed. Plus, the praise helped.

He wondered what it would be like, to just have this sort of laid-back, pleasant conversation every day, from then on.

***

Everything in Panahihou's body hurt.

He  had just barely escaped a raiding party, without any of the cargo he  was supposed to carry. The moment he set foot on the landing platform  before his home, a pair of undead bats descended from the skies and bit  his shoulders, before digging through them with their thumb talons.

He  stayed immobile on the ground, too exhausted to fight. He heard the  slap-like footsteps of his uncle's webbed feet, and dared look above.  Hinuhou wasn't angry, just contemplative, and that alone terrified  Panahihou.

"Fascinating" started Hinuhou, a wheezing sound  colouring his words, "Even though you've failed miserably and even  though you know you're in for a world of pain, you already seem very  tortured."

"I was ambushed and nearly blown up!" cried Panahihou  in panic, a panic that only exacerbated when he realized he shouted at  his uncle.

Hinuhou remained stoic, as if nothing happened.

Then,  suddenly, he grabbed Panahihou's head, feathered fingers constricting  the skull where the jaw muscles contracted and at the tongue's base.  This alone was very painful as it essentially forced in multiple cramps,  but it was the feeling of suffocation that drove Panahihou into  hysterics, trying to withdraw his head, only to drive the finger on his  throat deeper and spasm a pant out of him.

This lasted for about  three minutes, before Hinuhou noticed that Panahihou was on the verging  of passing out. He released his nephew, and tilted his head.

"Word  of advice" Hinuhou said, in a cautionary tone, "Wear beige next time.  It might not seem like much, but it really helps my eyes, you know."

With  that Hinuhou motioned for the undead bats to release Panahihou, and  both he and them flew away. Panahihou lowered his head, and began to  sob. Pain spasmed through his neck and head, and each breath he took  seemed to only worsen it.

He heard wing beats, followed by a  gentle landing next to him. By the time a friendly hand landed on his  back, Panahihou was already calm.

"I got a box full of herbs"  Pukehou said, sadness edging on his voice, "Hinuhou said he needed them  for his aspergillosis. Guess he'll keep coughing for a while."

Panahihou's head rose, staring at his brother in horror.

"Are you insane!?!?"

"Well,  I hope not at least. He'll be trying his hardest to not cough,  worsening his condition, while my courageous brother - that is you -  heals. Then it's just walking into his doorstep and snapping his neck  like an arthritic moa!"

Panahihou laughed, shaking his head; this quickly turned his laughter into pained moans.

Pukehou  quickly opened the box, selected a mixture of silvery ferns and  slippery seaweed, mushed them together and infused them with the  abundant dark mana of his surroundings, turning the mixture into a black  fluid. He dropped the liquid on Panahihou's back, and the wounds  regenerated, patching up with a shadowy mist.

"You know" Pukehou started, "We might have to act soon. We really lucked out on this one."

Panahihou nodded.

"I just hope we can get things done our way" Pukehou continued, but paused, finding himself at loss of words.

Panahihou tilted his head, confused. Then something dawned on him.

"But it's not just about un- Hinuhou, isn't it?" Panahihou said, pain edging on every word he spoke.

"Yes"  Pukehou sighed, "I want all of Wairepomango to be safe for us. We have  so much here, so much gold to be made on everything from mushrooms to  fish lice, and yet we can't make use of any of it. If not stolen by  Hinuhou, then stolen by someone else."

"You almost sound like an outpost guard" Panahihou chuckled, the pain only worsening.

"Yeah, they can be worth some money I guess" Pukehou retorted, semi-seriously.

"In more ways than one" Panahihou chirped.

"Eesh,  get your mind out of the crop" Pukehou said, semi-seriously, slapping  Panahihou's rear so hard that a feather flew out of it.

"Oh, the  saboteur, thief and stingy payer lectures me, poor old me, on my  business suggestions" Panahihou mocked, the searing pain not stopping  his speech, "So ashamed, maybe I should kill myself for my impurity!  Panahihou of the Kawau, so vile and degenerate that even the most amoral  of his kind pale in comparison!"

"You're the one that sounds like a guard now" said Pukehou playfully, though Panahihou noticed a wistful gleam in his eyes.

In  a particularly epiphanic moment, Panahihou almost voiced what he felt  was the funniest retort he'd ever come up with. It was a stillborn  reply, however, as the brothers heard the loud, inhuman screams from  within their home.

For a moment, Panahihou saw hope in his brother's eyes, before it too died, as their uncle's wing strokes filled the air.

"Oh great, another temper tantrum" Pukehou muttered disgustedly.

"Boys!" he crowed madly, flying in circles like a parrot driven mad by years of isolation.

He  perched on a tree stump nearby, just emerging from the black waters,  wings stretched and neck arched like an heron. In retrospect, Panahihou  found those poses ridiculous, but in that moment his heart raced with  fear, and he felt a migraine building on a back of his skull.

***

Panahihou winced, clawing at his head. Feathers either dropped or were clogged by blood.

"Is something wrong?" Feluz asked, looking around for help.

"Of course there's something wrong you braindead piece of fat!" Panahihou shouted madly.

The  waiters and costumers alike cowered, a few daring to flee the  establishment. But their reaction was nowhere near as shocking and  heart-breaking as Feluz's, his arms crossed in front of his face, tears  streaming down his eyes as he sobbed.

Guilt was an emotion almost  entirely alien to Panahihou, whose life revolved around not  experiencing it. It was overwhelming, and the Aven turned his head  aside, staring at the ground in shame. He grabbed one of his pockets and  produced several golden coins and a diamond, laying them on the table,  in front of the now more calmed and curious Feluz.

"I'm sorry. I hope I can make it up to you, somehow."

An awkward silence followed.

"The gift isn't working, is it?" Panahihou asked, not daring to lift his head.

Feluz  wiped his tears, but a sob still found its way out. Reluctantly,  Panahihou dared look at his fellow planeswalker's eyes. For what seemed  like an eternity they said nothing, both sights drowning in each other's  sorrow, reflected in each other's blue irises.

"Look, Feluz"  Panahihou started, choking a sob of his own, "You deserve so much better  than me. I told you I'm a waste of time, and I've told you how pathetic  my whole life is. I'm so angry, so bitter, that sometimes things this  happen, and I don't want to hurt you."

Panahihou rose.

"I'm leaving. I hope you leave, too."

"I want to help you" said Feluz.

"What?" Panahihou hiccuped incredulously.

Feluz  rose from the table as well, and wasted no time pulling Panahihou into a  tight embrace. For a moment, the Kawau was calmed, lost in the warmth  of those arms. He wondered if he could just die there, and spare the  poor naïve teen the burden of going through whatever he had in mind.

"I don't want you suffering like this" Feluz said, "You deserve so much better."

"No,  I don't" Panahihou said, gently untangling himself from the hug, "I  don't really believe in right or wrong, but I can tell you I'm a  horrible person."

"And you can be better" Feluz said, his hand touching Panahihou's lower jaw.

"How do you even know that?" said Panahihou brusquely, though he didn't fight the hand massaging his beak.

"I  know it, just as you know I've wasted my youth" Feluz said, "And  frankly I just want you to be happy. No matter what it takes."

Panahihou  wanted to protest, but as he looked into Feluz's hopeful, loving face  he couldn't help but feel his heart gaping, as if urging him to fill  that void. He didn't want to be alone, not in that moment, and the  consequences began dimming in his thoughts.

Both parties began to  pant. They both knew what they wanted, but weren't quite sure on how to  proceed. Last time, in spite of the sheer amount of affection between  them, they didn't ever even tried kissing, beyond light pecks. Their  jaws were so different, would it even work?

Feluz took the lead,  first pulling Panahihou's face towards his and touching the bill hook  with a soft kiss. Then he tilted his head, and it was Panahihou's turn.  His long jaws opened, moving forward until they extended past the  lover's head. Panahihou's tongue flowed into Feluz's mouth, and it was  an odd experience. The Aven's small, rigid tongue was the opposite of  the human's muscular one, and Panahihou had it almost severed off with  less caring kissers.

Feluz understood the need of being careful,  however, and simply bumped against it gently, before surrounding it a  few times. It was a rather pleasant experience for Panahihou, who moaned  softly, before letting go and breaking the kiss.

They stared at each other, now basking in the mutual surprise, as if each one's eyes was an ocean, inviting the other in.

"I'm going home" Panahihou declared.

Feluz nodded.

"You're not going to 'waste time' anymore?" Feluz asked.

"No.  I thought living in the moment was the answer, to make up for  everything I deserved to have and yet never did. Evidently, that wasn't  the case. Everything dulls, everything needs to be replaced by more  things, more pleasures, and I just never really get anywhere. And I  don't even have the courage to face my uncle, just killing some random  proxies I come across."

"And now you want to start anew" Feluz  responded, caressing Panahihou's chest, "You want to go home and  confront your uncle, and have a place to truly call home."

"Yes.  Make no mistake, catering to my own needs is something I'm always going  to do. But right now I need stability, I need to be certain that I'm  safe, that my brother is safe."

He looked at Feluz, and sighed.

"Look,  what I said still stands. I'm a mental wreck, I can hurt you even if I  didn't mean to. You have every right to run away, find someone actually  worth fighting for."

Panahihou paused, trying to hold himself back one last time, before he caved in:

"But  I feel empty inside, and every moment with you kills that void, fills  it with a different kind of darkness, one which guides me and warms me.  I'm guess that what I'm trying to say, if that I love you, Feluz, and  would be honored if you came with me."

Feluz embraced him again.

"I'll go with you."

And without not a single word more, the two vanished from Ravnica.