getting back to normal

thank you all for your kind words and messages to my last post, it means a lot 💕 i haven't replied to anyone, mostly because at this point i have no words left to say about this situation but i'm very thankful that everyone has been so understanding and made me feel like i could truly take the time i need, it took some of the heaviness off of my chest.

i spent the last week distracting myself on some days, and facing the reality of things on others. i can't say things are better yet but i do want to slowly resume life.

drawing is hard currently, i miss it dearly, i haven't drawn anything of value in weeks but just holding the stylus felt incredibly awkward and foreign the last few days, so in the end i just didn't even bother trying. but i decided it's time to push through,so i doodled a little bit on sunday. it still doesn't feel quite right but not as bad as before, so here i am again, determined to pick up my work and passion again.

"getting back to normal" will be a long process i guess, as good as i am at not letting things get to me too much in an obvious way, it hits out of the blue all the time, when i let my thoughts wander or when i'm confronted with things that trigger my memories. which is normal, i'm not forcing a stop to it, it's something that needs to happen.
however, i don't want to stop everything else either.

so.

i'll probably continue to be a bit slow with everything for another few weeks, and i might be dropping in and out depending on what's going on but i'm here!!

and in a few moments i'll post some new muted pages that lvl2 patrons haven't seen yet and the next pages are on my to-do-list for the next 2 weeks, too! i've been looking forward to drawing them so so much, i don't wanna postpone it any longer.

🌈