Asylum - Surgery complete

Lydia healed nicely over the next couple of weeks, and despite her initial comment about still feeling "too much", she hadn't caused any more injuries. Which Ethan was grateful for. Maybe this first successful surgery had convinced Lydia that her ultimate wish would be fulfilled and there was no need to cause more harm to her body. 

With her arms and shoulders removed, it was also much more challenging for her to reach parts of her body to harm. When Lydia wasn't supervised, she was still restrained, just in case. She might not want to hurt herself voluntarily anymore, but deep-seated compulsions can also manifest involuntarily. 

After Lydia had recovered from the surgery for a couple of days, Ethan resumed his therapy sessions with her. They had planned her modifications in three phases. With the first surgery complete, it was time to work out the details for the second one. This one had the most potential for variation. The goal was to remove parts of her lower body, but it had become clear to Ethan early on that Lydia didn't just want her legs removed. She wanted a hemicorporectomy as high as possible, meaning the complete removal of her lower torso. This was, in general, a surgery that was not commonly performed if it could be avoided. Only in extreme circumstances like severe injury to the pelvis and lower abdomen was a hemicorporectomy even considered, as it would remove the lower extremities and the body's natural ability to void waste products as most of the digestive system and the bladder were removed. In addition to that, the reproductive organs would be removed as well. This was the point Ethan had a hard time coming to terms with. He had talked extensively with the surgeons about it. Since Lydia's procedure was elective, they were removing healthy tissue, and he figured there should be some way to preserve sexual function. 

"Do you want me to keep my pussy?" Lydia asked when Ethan brought up the possibility of transplanting her sexual organs. "Is that even possible?" She was sitting on her bed, leaning back on her pillows. During their therapy sessions, Ethan had insisted on her being unrestrained to better gauge Lydia's reactions and see what could potentially trigger her compulsion. 

"According to the surgeons I asked, it could theoretically be done, but there is no guarantee that it will keep its full functionality. I just thought you might want to think about that option," Ethan clarified.

Lydia looked down at her legs and spread them further as she contemplated it. 

"That's not something I ever thought about, to be honest. It was always about becoming something that was no longer human, keeping just enough of my body to keep me alive. It was never about sexual pleasure, and I don't think I would miss it."

"I guess it doesn't really matter whether I have a pussy or not," Lydia continued. 

"It's not like I can have an active sex life once I'm done - oh." Lydia fell silent after that, and Ethan could tell by her face that she had just had an idea. Her gaze turned far away. 

"Lydia?" She didn't react, and so Ethan repeated her name until she finally turned to look at him after the third time. 

"Huh?" 

"Are you alright?" 

Lydia nodded. "You better chain me up again, doc. I think I might have an episode soon," she said with a smile spreading over her lips and a mischievous look in her eyes. 

Ethan wondered what kind of dragon he had awakened with his suggestion as he placed the restraints back on Lydia. 

--

"So, I've been thinking," Lydia said as soon as Ethan entered the door. "I think having an orifice to be fucked in would be nice, and I don't care if it's a pussy or just a flesh tube. It just needs to be good for fucking. I don't want any pleasure from that, and certainly not any orgasm."

Ethan took time to sit down and take notes while processing what Lydia had just said. "What's your reasoning behind that decision?"

"Well, I thought about it for a while, and I think that adding a fuck hole to my final body would make me even more of a thing. I would be an object that can be used. That's exciting!" 

He struggled to hold back his personal feelings on the matter. That Lydia saw herself and her body in such a deprecating way didn't sit right with Ethan. He wanted to get up and shake Lydia, to make her see what a wonderful person she was who didn't need to be reduced to an inhuman object. At the same time, he respected her and her wishes and would not go against them. 

"Who would you want to use you?"

"Anyone, or no one. What I want won't matter because I can't do anything about what's happening to me." Lydia wriggled on her chair in what Ethan had come to know as her excited wriggle. Since her arms were restrained for so long, she had used her whole body to display her excitement and release some of that built-up energy. It looked strange now that she had no arms and no shoulders. Her neck seemed impossibly long, and her movements reminded Ethan of a giraffe.

"And you don't want any pleasure from it? None at all?" 

"Yeah, I think that would be best. I thought about if I could maybe get a half-working pussy, like it gives me pleasure to a certain point but won't let me come, but since you said there's no guarantee that a transplanted pussy would work at all I don't want to risk it and end up with a working pussy. I still wouldn't be able to work towards an orgasm, but I don't want whoever is using me to feel pity and make me orgasm because they think that would be the kindest thing to do. And I get it. I really do. Humans empathize with others; most would see my final form and pity it. They would want to treat it like a human, and I don't want that. That's why I decided if I get a fuck hole, I don't want any pleasure from it. Remove that possibility completely; whoever is fucking me has no other choice. I would even be fine with it hurting." 

Ethan could barely keep up with taking notes. Lydia was talking very fast as she got more and more excited. It was hard not to get swept up in her enthusiasm while, at the same time, his mind was screaming at him to stop Lydia from talking about herself in this dehumanizing way. 

"Oh, I just thought of another possibility," Lydia jumped excitedly. She started biting her lip, and Ethan quickly reached out and grabbed her jaw, stopping her from hurting herself. 

"Oh, sorry. I didn't mean to do that. I just got excited," Lydia apologized quickly. "Do you think I could actually talk to the surgeon? I know I'll see him again before the surgery, and it's not that I don't trust you to arrange everything for me. It's just... maybe this idea is a little too strange." 

Ethan was taken aback by the sudden request since Lydia had previously insisted on not talking to the surgeon personally. 

"Of course," Ethan said, and he could see how Lydia visibly relaxed. Sometimes, it was hard to tell with her lack of shoulders, but he knew her well enough by now.

"How long do you think that will take, and how long do I need to wait for the next surgery?" Lydia asked, still radiating excitement. "I feel like I'm healed enough for the next step."

"You know that's not my call, and it also depends on when he has time and when the surgery can be scheduled. I'm afraid you will have to wait a little longer." 

Lydia pouted adorably, and Ethan found himself thinking how he would miss her face once this was all over and done. He shook himself to dislodge the thought from his brain. He couldn't keep slipping into such an unprofessional mindset. Lydia was his patient, after all. 

"I guess I can wait a little longer," Lydia said eventually, following a drawn-out sigh. "It's easier to deal with now that my arms are gone. Makes it more bearable." 'It' being her body dysmorphia. 

"I'm sorry. I wish I could speed it up," Ethan consoled her but wasn't sure if he meant it. Some part of him wanted Lydia to proceed with the surgeries as fast as possible to relieve her suffering, but another part wanted to keep spending time with her for as long as possible. 

When Ethan left Lydia's room after her session, he wondered if he should look into getting a therapist for himself after this was all over to deal with his conflicting emotions towards Lydia. 

The following two weeks felt slow even for Ethan, but Lydia's second surgery was finally happening. He could barely concentrate on his work that day. His thoughts were with Lydia and how her surgery was progressing. While he was Lydia's therapist and had organized the surgery, he didn't receive any updates while it was happening. Ethan had to wait until the next day to see how Lydia was doing and how the surgery went. 

Ethan wasn't prepared for what he saw when he entered Lydia's room. He wondered if he had gotten the wrong door for a moment, but then he saw her. 

She was absolutely tiny. Only her head peaked out of the covers but what remained of her body was barely any bigger. The blanket dropped off abruptly where her midsection should have been. It had really been done. Lydia had been reduced to a head and half a torso. No more limbs she could try to chew off, barely anything left to move, yet Ethan knew this was not the final stage. 

It took a long time for Lydia to heal from this operation, so they reduced their therapy sessions to just a few minutes of Ethan checking up on Lydia. There was little left that they could still discuss. Everything had been arranged for Lydia's final surgery. 

When Ethan saw Lydia's body for the first time without bandages, it was another shock for him. It was one thing seeing what was left of the once healthy young woman's body wrapped tightly in bandages and another seeing the patchwork of skin flaps and scars that wrapped around her ribcage, which was the only bony structure left in her body beside her skull and part of her spine. 

Ethan stared at her for several minutes, taking in what lay before him. It was still mind-boggling that this once vibrant and energetic woman had been reduced to almost nothing. This was also the last time he would get to see her face. Lydia will be taken to surgery for the third and final time tomorrow. 

Lydia watched him with curious eyes. Her new body shape reminded Ethan of an elegant vase, a long thin neck running into a ball-shaped bottom. Lydia's body wasn't quite symmetrical since her ribcage was wider than deep, but it was close, especially now that her breasts had been removed. Ethan noticed that on her lower end, there was only the valve that allowed for the evacuation of her bodily waste. There was no hole or transplanted pussy, and Ethan was itching to ask what Lydia had discussed with her surgeon. 

"You noticed, huh?" Lydia asked suddenly, and Ethan felt like she had just read his mind. "Don't worry, there's going to be a way to fuck my body once everything is done." 

"I'm not worried about that," Ethan said as he sat down on the bed beside her. "How are you feeling now that everything is healed? Are you happy with the result?" 

"Honestly? It feels amazing. There is nothing I can move. I can still move my neck, but that doesn't count. The surgeon assured me he had removed all the muscles from my torso, except my diaphragm, which I need for breathing." 

Ethan could tell how excited Lydia was, but that excitement contrasted with her body lying utterly still and not even twitching. When she still had legs, she had often expressed her emotions through movement, but now that was all gone. 

"When I look down at my body, I am so happy. This is what I was meant to be. No discernable features, just vital organs inside a ribcage covered with skin. I can't wait to take the last step." Lydia laughed. "Not literally, of course, you know what I mean." 

Ethan chuckled. "Of course. I'm glad you are happy, Lydia. I really am. I'm going to miss you." Ethan forced a smile onto his face. Internally he had struggled for days to come to terms with the fact that soon he would no longer see her. Lydia would be gone. He wasn't even sure what would happen to what was left of her after the final surgery. Lydia had met with an attorney weeks ago to set everything in place. Ethan didn't even know if Lydia had given power of attorney to someone. He assumed it would be her parents, but it was also possible that Lydia didn't want any particular person to make decisions on her behalf, in which case what happened to her would be decided by the state. 

"Just forget about little ol' me," Lydia joked, but Ethan thought he could see a hint of sadness in her eyes. "I'll miss you, too, Ethan. You've been more than a doctor to me. You're a great friend." 

"Can I hug you?" Professionalism be damned, their doctor-patient relationship had essentially come to an end anyway. Ethan wanted to have a proper goodbye to his friend. 

"Of course," Lydia immediately said and laughed. "You have to do all the work, though." 

Ethan hesitated momentarily, not knowing how to approach Lydia's abbreviated body. She had no shoulders. That would have been the easiest way to pick her up. She was all neck and chest. In the end, Ethan placed his hands underneath her body, one under her back and the other supporting her head, not unlike one who would pick up a newborn baby. He placed her against his chest, and she turned her head to rest it on his shoulder. They stayed like this for a minute, with Ethan gently running his hands over her back and Lydia being completely immobile. Eventually, Ethan had to put her back down. He placed her tiny body onto the pillow, adjusted it around her until she was comfortable, and then stood up.

"Goodbye, Lydia," Ethan said with a sad smile. He was happy for her, but at the same time, he would miss her greatly. Lydia had been an unstoppable force that had torn into his life and had left a permanent impression. He felt he had become a better therapist because of how challenging her case had been and how determined Lydia had been. 

"Goodbye, Ethan. Don't miss me too much. I promise you, I'll be happy." 

Ethan hoped that was true. He took the rest of the day off, choosing to postpone any office work he would have done that day in favor of returning home.

---

Ethan tried not to think about Lydia too much, but his thoughts drifted away from his work from time to time, and he wondered where she had ended up now. It had been a few weeks since he had said goodbye to her, and he missed her. 

There was a knock on the door, and he looked up from the case file he had been studying. 

"A package arrived for you," his secretary poked her head in and held up a large cardboard box. 

He hadn't ordered anything, least of all, to his office, so Ethan was at a loss at what it could be. It was heavier than he had expected when he took it from his secretary. There was no label on top. It just had his name written on it, leaving him even more confused. He carefully sliced open the top, and with bated breath, he slowly lifted the flaps revealing folded pieces of paper. Underneath the paper was something roughly spherical covered in plain wrapping paper. 

Suddenly, Ethan knew what was in the box, and he fell back into his chair, overwhelmed. He didn't even think about reading the letter, all he could do was stare at the box, and when he held his breath and concentrated, he could hear it. Breathing. 

With shaking hands, Ethan unfolded the letter. 

"Dear Ethan, I have to dictate this letter since I no longer have any hands. I wanted to let you know that it hadn't been my intention when I first met you that I wanted to give myself into your care, but as the weeks passed by, it became clear to me that I had no other choice. No other person has ever understood me as you did, and I knew you would take care of me the way I wanted. It had always been my fear that if I could ever achieve my goal, whoever I ended up with would still treat me too much like a human and try to communicate with me and make my life as 'comfortable' as possible. 

For a long time, I had thought my goal would be impossible to achieve, so my fear was just as unrealistic. Then I met you, and suddenly becoming what I have always meant to be, became a real possibility. And with it came that fear again. Maybe it is an irrational fear, but it doesn't make sense for an ordinary person to be afraid of being treated like a human being. Well, you know me better than anyone, so I hope it makes sense to you. 

You've probably realized by now what's in the package. It's me - or what's left of me. I know the temptation is high to think of the thing in the box as Lydia, but please don't. It's not her anymore. 

Please do with it whatever you want. Use it as you see fit, or don't. You can put it into a cupboard and only take it out to feed it two tablespoons of nutrient slurry every couple of days and forget about it the rest of the time. Forget that it used to be Lydia. 

Goodbye, Ethan." 

Ethan dropped the letter and got back up. 

With shaking hands, Ethan lifted the paper to reveal the flesh-colored object in the box. He studied it for a moment, his eyes trailing the many scars crisscrossing its skin. Most had already started to fade. With time nothing more than smooth skin would be left behind. Ethan watched as the right side of the ribcage slowly rose and fell as puffs of air escaped the small hole in the center of the chest. The thing was tiny in comparison to a human and almost perfectly round. It was just about a foot in height and a little more than a foot in width. Ethan had already seen the lower end weeks earlier with its small evacuation valve, but he hadn't been prepared to see the upper end like this. 

Where before Lydia's neck had been was ... nothing. It was a smooth line from one side of her ribcage to the other. Her head had been completely removed, with the brain relocated into the left chest cavity. Lydia's face and all its features had been taken away. Nose, mouth, eyes and ears were all gone - probably thrown into a medical waste bin or donated to science like the rest of her body. Objectively, it would be a stretch to call what laid before Ethan in the box a human. It was composed of just enough tissue, bones and organs to sustain life.

He reached into the box and gently lifted the thing out of the box. It was warm and soft, and Ethan was afraid to hold it too tightly. He turned it around in his hands, holding it 'upright' to look at the top of the ribcage. He was surprised to see a sizeable hole right in the middle where once a neck would have been. Ethan thought this might be her esophagus, but it was larger than he had expected. It was over an inch across, much larger than would be necessary to feed her - it. Ethan caught himself still referring to the body in his hands as Lydia, and he mentally corrected himself.

The hole wasn't the only thing that surprised Ethan. Right above it, two simple words were inked into the skin. "Fuck Hole," the tattoo read in bold letters. Ethan laughed and shook his head. So this was what Lydia had had the surgeon do to her. He was sure her esophagus wasn't this large, to begin with. He didn't know how this had been done. Tentatively, he prodded the hole with a finger, feeling the rim where the inner part met the skin. It had healed smoothly, and Ethan wondered if it was really her esophagus or some other part of her digestive system. He wasn't familiar with how Lydia's digestive tract had been remodeled. He added a second finger and tried stretching the hole a little and was surprised when it responded to the applied pressure. Still, he couldn't imagine using it as advertised. He wasn't sure if he could bring himself to fuck it like Lydia had wanted. Something inside him just rebelled against the idea of using the reduced body in such a way. Ethan knew this was not what Lydia had ultimately wanted, maybe he would be able to in the future, but for now, the body would go unused. 

A/N: This is not the end! Don't worry. This has just gotten so long, almost twice as long as my usual stories/chapters, that I couldn't finish it all this month. There's going to be another chapter about Ethan and Toy.