Videos before doctor's's appointment, range of motion and yerba

Attached are videos of me before going to a doctors appointment, where I hoped to get some help with the following: medical marijuana card for my spasms etc., and advice about where I could be referred to therapists who Guide people with safe psilocybin treatments.

Alas, the medical industry. It's called an industry for a reason.

I'll be doing another video which I will post on YouTube as well tomorrow when I have some time to explain the stupidity, or willful ignorance?, I encountered when I dared even mention the subject. And apparently, unless I get some kind of private practice family physician, I can't go through a federally licensed doctor to get my medical marijuana red card.

I'll let you guess the genius alternative this doctor had four dealing with my trauma and depression and anxiety and PTSD and panic attack… no judgment for people who take antidepressants but I am not one of them and I very firmly believe in the power of the plant medicine we have already been given if taken wisely with the help of a guide. I question sometimes if being so bullheaded about this is really going to heal my trauma but I 100% doubt that the modern day pharmaceutical industry is going to do anything except distract me from the real journey of traveling through and transmuting the trauma experiences.

Maybe I'll do an audio clip talking about this.

Different subject, totally different tangent… I'm excited because I want to try and start a podcast! Topics would be from disability life, Random explorations into conspiracy theory rabbit holes and how we feel about aliens, to my adventures in polyamory and what I think about societal norms concepts of twin flames and true loves and soulmates and all that juicy stuff because I'm a sucker for clandestine Affairs in the pale moonlight. OK and broad daylight let's be honest. It's important that society remembers that disabled people want and need and deserve quality Love lives… I could talk forever about this! I absolutely love encouraging my other disabled friends to be there sexy selves and put themselves out there… somebody asked me the other day what I feel like my life's purpose is. For me, I really don't like that question because most of the time I feel like I am just working really hard to exist. The person who asked this, is able-bodied, and shared that they feel the exact same way a lot of the time. Then I just blurted out but I love making people feel or recognize there Beautiful and worthy of the most divine love. Shakti energy… laxmi energy… in Hindu worship, this luxurious and blissful all consuming divine dripping honey kind of love. And finding that love within ourselves even when we think we are so Lost and unlovable. I'm thinking of calling the podcast vent sessions because I would sing probably at some point on it and I have to sing on the ventilator to get enough breath,… or the other name would be paralyzed and polyamorous… IDK ideas welcome.

Good night my little angels and demons,

elle