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I have a complex story.

I hope, as I gain your trust as patrons, I will feel comfortable Sharing every detail of what happened, the night of my accident, and the ensuing weeks, months and now two years afterwards.

Up until now, I have not been physically or mentally ready to share publicly the intricate and painful events and memories which culminated in a malpractice suit being enacted in the here and now.

It would be impossible for me to pretend that being focused in the present moment eradicates the past horror stories of my time is spent in the hospitals, because those past stories are still very much alive and affecting my future. However, I live in the here and now and what I want to share with you is my present moment. My daily life, with my C one spinal cord injury calling the shots at its center.

This is the highest spinal cord injury there is, so technically I really shouldn't be able to breathe or try to function normally as a 27 year old Woman in a material world, but here we are.

Finding humor is always a good idea, because the other alternatives are not so great.

What I have found is that near death experiences can be accompanied buy a great deal of wonder and dare I say whimsy. You go down the rabbit hole and experience dreadful things but then also discover a sort of Wonderland within the understanding hearts and loving intentions of those who decide to be in your life and care for you afterwards. You find yourself almost amused buy your own visage as a talking head on hey silly out of control body, and sometimes you even fancy yourself beautiful. Because life, even when it's not fully capable and perfect, is still somehow worthwhile.

As a disclaimer, I'm not a terrific mouth painter and my social skills don't make me the sharpest knife in the drawer. In other words, I'll be Sharing with you the most vulnerable parts of me. As a disabled woman, my body could become some thing I want to hide and almost be a ashamed of. As a disabled woman, I am not going to let that happen. In fact my body confidence is in full force, and I hope you enjoy it as much as I do. Also I've got my words. For a couple of months early on in my rehabilitation I was unable to speak while being ventilated. Now as I begin breathing independently I can actually managed to not only speak strongly, but actually start singing again which had been a huge part of my able-bodied life. Music it's self has gotten me through so much mental anguish. So here are my offerings, I suppose, my little voice and my weird little body.

Thanks again for joining my journey.

Love,

Elle rose