Why Don't You Make Videos Anymore, Caitlin?

Gentle Patrons,

There is a question I’ve been seeing, some of you may have even asked it:

Caitlin, please ma'am, tell us little guys why you don't make videos anymore?

Well first of all you adorable lil' cartoon mouse, if we care about FACTS here, I do make videos. We've made five videos in the last six months. That is... a respectable amount of videos? Even when I was deep into sabbatical I made videos. Even when I broke my ankle, I propped myself up like Elmer McCurdy in the funhouse and made videos.

To be clear, I’m not shaming anyone who has asked this question – it is a question asked in good faith and eagerness for a return to MORE CONTENT. I fully understand where you're coming from and I'm going to do my best to answer.

The thing about post-sabbatical Caitlin (a childless elder Millennial), is that I don't do much of anything I don't want to do. If I didn't want to be making videos, I simply wouldn't be. POOF, I'd be gone, a Caitlin-shaped vapor in my stead.

That attitude leads to The Caitlin Guarantee: Anything you see from me is something that I feel deeply connected to and believe I am uniquely qualified to speak on. If I go through the process of creating a video – a process that while rewarding and fun can also be fraught and exhausting – know that I am excited about the topic. I think this (the aforementioned Caitlin Guarantee™) is important, considering how a lot of content is made these days – pandering to the algorithm, chasing virality, etc.

But I do understand your feeling that you are not seeing as much from me lately. Part of this is optics. A "creator" used to be able to make one or two reasonable things, for example: produce several YouTube videos a month, post on Facebook (remember Facebook?), etc. These days, a creator's checklist might look something like: create reel, post to TikTok, post podcast to Substack and cross post to LinkedIn, YouTube video, four Instagram stories, brand deal integration, etc etc and into the dark chasm. If you have someone whose work you follow religiously, there is a chance you can obtain content from them multiple times a week until the end of time. That will...never be me. If you give a mouse a cookie (access to a healthy work life balance) she will want a glass of milk (that forever.)

But I'm not trying to gaslight you here. It's not all optics. You might feel like you're not getting as much of me as *I* want to give you. That is also correct. The fact is, the only way for you to perceive me, to take in the information that my team and I create and present to you, is through tech companies. There is no other way.

(Note: The only other way is the written word, in a physical book put out by a publishing company. That is why most of my time is now spent researching ol' Titanic book . COMING SOON.....ish.)

I want to be perceived and taken in as me, The Caitlin, the AVATAR THAT IS CAITLIN. I think this is valuable because – and I know this might sound wacky – but I love me. "Me" as a purveyor of information. I genuinely enjoy it. I enjoy being a sort of grim reaper Bill Nye character. I would love to be in your lives in some form, at your side as you grow up and make death plans, until I myself am old and gray.

But every platform I'm on and everything I do feels very precarious. You know that I've been in this years long (losing) battle with YouTube. YouTube, where I built my public platform and so much of my public persona. YouTube, where I've connected with so many people who have become peers and collaborators. This is the same YouTube that, 2 million subscribers later, is dismantling my ability to distribute videos. People can't find them, they can't search for them. They are dead in the water. All that work, that passion, that belief in the importance of what my team and I are creating leads to, not NOTHING, that's too dramatic, but less ability to reach the deathphobic masses.

Which is the exact opposite of what I want to do. But I have no way to predict or prevent what YouTube is going to demonetize and bury. It's a very precarious way to work – the sword of Damocles dangling over your head at all times.

And the same thing goes with other platforms. Even if I were to propose a show to Netflix, that's no guarantee. Did any of you see the story that broke about the Prince documentary? It was made by one of the great documentarians of our time, Ezra Edelman, and the whole darn thing was CANCELLED. Turns out the lawyers who ran Prince's estate didn't want Prince being seen in a vulnerable light so they pulled the entire thing. This 9-hour masterwork that took Edelman years to make – gone, blocked.

That's a terrible, terrible thing that happened to Edelman, and the only criticism you can possibly have of him is that he probably shouldn't have attached his work to the whims of a large tech company. Surprise, surprise! You got screwed!

But since I'm the Ezra Edelman of YouTube – omg KIDDING – I feel this cancellation in my bones.

And look, I trust Patreon as a service. It's a service that I trust the most in the grand scheme of things. However, it is not a social media platform or network that is ultimately open source and totally free to everyone who wants the videos we create. That is why I loved YouTube – anyone could access these videos for free – and that is why I feel bummed.

So I'm trying to figure it out.

I don't want to end this on a grim note, especially since most everything in my life is very positive! (My editor told me today that after TWO YEARS my book is "feeling like a book." Ya'll, I'll take it.)

First positive: that photo at the top is a sneak peek from a video that we're editing right now. It's got some old school Ask a Mortician elements but also one of my absolute favorite topics and bizarro aspects of the funeral history of all time.

Second positive: We think we have finally figured out something that I am excited to work on, will give you more of me, and will be available easily to everyone, no sign ups, no barriers, no nuthin'. Youtube has broken our stride, but not our spirit. Death 4 everyone!

Next month is going to be big. Huge.

Thank you for being here deathlings,

Caitlin