TGIF: Why I Like Reality Television

Hello and happy Friday, patrons! How is everyone doing today? I hope you’re finding something in your life to be proud of, happy about, or encouraged by. If not, don’t stress. Remember to take care of your heap. I think my eyebrows are starting to grow back in. I’m over the moon. The microblading I got done before treatment has been amazing, but up close there were about two to three lowly sprigs of eyebrow hair left on each side. Now, I keep running my fingers over the tattooed crescents and can feel the stubble that’s starting to sprout. It’s like when you run your hands over those sequin throw pillows and reveal Nicholas Cage. It’s that thrilling. This heap is sprouting.

Speaking of fun new things growing, I have been having SO much fun recording episodes of TMGReal with Mamrie. I genuinely love reality TV. You get that. But for years I was really embarrassed to admit that without the caveat of it being a joke. Of course I still think it’s absurd and comical, but also just so damn fascinating. The astrological reading I had back in November (that Christmas present from Elliott) started with being told that my birth chart showed a huge duality in wanting to communicate on a large scale, while also being a deeply private person. He said “it makes complete sense you found yourself making online content, a space where you can control the amount of yourself that is shown”. Bingo. One of my biggest struggles in content creation has been figuring out a healthy boundary between my personal and professional worlds. I think I’m inherently drawn to reality TV because people who put themselves in those positions to be documented are effectively sacrificing that boundary, and that’s fascinating. Now we even see cast mates calling out fellow cast mates for not being open enough about their private lives on camera (RHOBH, anyone?). I guess privacy and the scrutiny of the court of public opinion is the price you pay for the opportunity to be given a platform.

I always watch reality TV with the question of “why” bouncing in the back of my mind. Why are these people doing this? Fame, followers, and external validation immediately come to mind. The spectrum of superficial rewards. For DragRace I can assume something a little deeper, to expose their artistry, for needed representation, to lift up other collaborative artists, for connection, and for the plethora of potential work opportunities that follow. But for the Housewives franchise it’s a little more curious. I believe the Bravo housewife universe started with the Real Housewives of Orange County franchise as a way to give deeper context to the lives of women that seemed like two dimensional caricatures. Housewives. What were the lives of lavish and inexplicably rich women really like behind the scenes? And that opened the floodgates to the absolutely petty, wonderfully frivolous, and unexpectedly complex dramas these women found themselves in. Their problems have been equally as relatable (divorces, addiction issues, family traumas, sickness, death, body issues, anxiety, depression, etc) as they have been absolutely absurd (did Dorit give the dog away that she adopted from LVP’s dog adoption facility, did Yolanda really have Lyme disease or Münchausen syndrome as speculated by Lisa Rinna, a different Lisa having to downgrade to a 5,000 sq ft penthouse after her plastic surgeon husband got caught on a hot mic admitting to cheating on her with a 20 something model, did Vicki actually know her weird boyfriend was faking Cancer, the list goes ON). The lifeline of these shows is drama. Well adjusted wealthy women don’t bring the ratings. Personally, I’d watch the shit out of “Well Adjusted Wealthy Women” (WAWW), but I don’t think a lot of other people would. So why are these women putting themselves in these positions in the public eye? Do they really need the money? Maybe they just want the exposure? I don’t know for sure, and I don’t know that there’s one universal answer. Maybe that’s part of why it’s interesting to me. I’ve heard the conspiracy theory that some of these women agree to these shows secretly hoping it will help end their already bad marriage and give them something to move forward with when it does. Juicy.

The sports analogies seem to get stronger every year. Viewers have their favorite “players”, they choose their “teams”, and they want who they’re rooting for to “clock in this season.” And, like sports, each season has its culmination of a Super Bowl/Championship Match with reunions. All of the fights and grudges that have been established throughout the season get hashed out over the course of one day. Cast members are encouraged to find resolutions or “paths forward” where they can in the hopes of bringing storylines to their culminations, for better or worse. Then the players enjoy their offseason scheming up new ways to fuck with each while waiting to see if their contracts get renewed and if their coaches want to bring in new recruits. The shows have developed this over arching hypocrisy of women constantly proclaiming they want to “move forward,” “support each other,” “stop the drama”, meanwhile knowing their jobs are dependent upon getting stuck on something, disengaging, and stirring the pot. Fascinatingly funny tension of opposites, in my opinion.

Another weird thing to note is that it’s their job. There’s something similar between being a content creator and a cast member on reality television. Both potentially offering parts of their lives for public consumption. The difference is control. Again, it’s that sacrifice of personal narration. I just couldn’t do it. Spoiler alter, she’s got control issues, y’all! So of course, I’m struck by the people who take that plunge. And now with social media reality TV stars can add additional context, air dirty laundry, drop receipts, fight back against the way they were portrayed, and attempt to regain some sort of control of their narrative. It's like a post game press conference. You get the unedited version of the person. Anytime I accidentally see a post game press conference (because it has never once been on purpose) it's jarring to hear the quarterback speak. It's like I almost forget they're an actual person and not just a headless torso machine with numbers painted on it throwing brown ovals until one of the foot locker employees blows a whistle. Social media almost gives these reality TV people a chance to reclaim their personhood. Almost.

Okay maybe I'm just rambling now. I'm currently typing this in a car headed down to Palm Springs to see my parents again. eFfiCiEnCy. Also the car sickness is sneaking in so I'm gonna wrap this up. Anyway, I like reality TV. I feel like I could write a whole ass dissertation about the surprising complexity of its cast members and its content. I'm fascinated by the sometimes remarkable relatability and the entertained by the guaranteed absurdity. And I'm having a lot of fun getting a space to talk about it now. Evolving the once closeted guilty pleasure into a public passion. Wow. Growth. Lol. Thanks for letting me ramble in my good ol internet diary. Hope you all have wonderful weekends! Watching anything? Thanks, as always, for being here! 💚G