Smoke And Mirrors

I can't escape myself
So many times I've lied
But there's still rage inside
Somebody get me through this nightmare
I can't control myself 

Woof! I know I sound like a broken record with the "sorry I haven't been posting much" thing, but I really am sorry, guys. To make a long story short, I've finally managed to locate some work in my degree field, and I'm busting my butt prepping for a few upcoming job interviews. I'll be posting here sporadically throughout, and hopefully I'll be able to get back to consistent uploads soon. Again, thank you all for your continued patience! I'm very grateful. <)

So! Back to our favorite edgy lizard boy. Before anybody asks, yes, I have been watching Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts, yes I do love it, yes it did inspire this doodle. When I first got this request I thought I'd draw something silly or shippy, maybe Smoky and Montezuma watching the sunset together. But then my brain said nah, y'all gettin' angst

Smokescreen spent years of his life being molded into a perfect weapon. He was a loyal attack dog that never questioned his superiors. He thought he was doing the right thing. He thought he was a hero. He fought Montezuma because he'd been led to believe that Monte was evil. Discovering the truth- finally listening to Monty- learning that he has been an unwitting cog in an ignorant, corrupt machine- well, it throws Special Agent Smokescreen's entire world into question.

If his spy agency was wrong about Montezuma, what else are they wrong about? Smokescreen has hurt a lot of people besides Monty. Stolen, maimed, threatened, tortured. Was that right? Was it justified then? Was it ever...? He was so sure they were villains, terrible threats to Equestria's safety. But what if he was wrong? What if he was always wrong?

All of this festers into a deep identity crisis, which can be quite dangerous for changelings. Further compounding the issue, when the agency gets wind that Smoky has joined forces with Montezuma, he is immediately labeled a traitor and the agency begins a secret, desperate operation to apprehend Smokescreen before the fiendish Montezuma can wreck too much havoc with the intel and skill the agent possesses. Now a wanted fugitive, Smoky cannot simply return home, and is effectively stuck with Monty and his minions. Montezuma insists on this arrangement, for Smoky's own safety. 

At first Smoky isn't terribly bothered by being isolated to Montezuma's secret bases, he did want to help Monty and the minions take back stolen relics from Equestria and return them to their proper temples. It feels nice to finally be doing the right thing. Even if Monty's minions don't yet forgive him for wiping the floor with them in the past. Even if his new allyship with Montezuma is still pretty shaky and awkward. Even if he can't stop thinking about how worried Spike and Thorax must be by now, whether his dads even know what happened to him. Even if he misses his dads dearly, misses his best friend Phoenix, his dog Lollipop....

The realization creeps up on Smokescreen. He notices he can't quite keep up with Montezuma the way he used too. Even light missions are leaving him exhausted. Then he notices it's getting harder to maintain his human form.

Despite their outward appearances, changelings are not human. 

They use magic to conceal their true forms, a bit like a fleshy outer shell that hides a crunchy cockroach inside. As with all changeling magic, their glamour spell is powered by love. A changeling without love will slowly struggle to maintain their humanity. Trapped on the run without his family and friends, Smokescreen has no love to feed on. His dragon half means that unlike most changelings, Smoky can sustain himself for a while on regular food. But ultimately, all changelings need love to survive. The cracks begin to show.

Furthermore, a hungry changeling is an aggressive changeling. 

Smokescreen is slowly starving, and thus becoming more and more volatile. A minion accidentally bumping him in the hallway is nearly enough to send him into a blind fury, and the thought of gripping them by the throat and forcibly ripping out their love and life force force is growing more and more tantalizing by the day. So you have a cruel irony where now that Smoky has finally resolved not to hurt Montezuma and his minions, he may end up doing so anyway, and completely against his will this time. 

He keeps Monty in the dark, of course. How can he convince Montezuma- and the world- that he isn't a monster if he reveals he secretly longs to eat him? 

Montezuma knows something is up- that damned agent is acting even more reclusive and secretive than normal. He decides to get to the bottom of this- to help Smoky- no matter what.

(Smoky is shown here attempting to meditate and will his form back to normal. Sucks about your shirt, bro.)