Business Tactics (Preview WIP)
Added 2021-02-19 02:17:58 +0000 UTCsooooo "It's A Date" is still being scripted but I REALLY wanted to make a comic so I wrote this one page comic to play around with dialogue, panels, etc. This is the first eight panels, the finished comic will have twelve panels total. Featuring a friendly chat between Jam Sandwich and the eternal thorn in her side, the very rich, very distinguished, and very powerful Mister Filthy Rich, of Ponyville fame. There's an ongoing turf war between them, and it's one that Jam is very determined to win.
Comments
Oh shit, I’m super hyped. Hell yeah, Jammy!
Stef
2021-02-20 01:46:23 +0000 UTCUUGHHH THIS IS TOO REAL (which is to say, VERY well done and compelling so far--- I love your ideas lately!). Hope you're doing well and taking care of yourself 🥰
pookaWOODS
2021-02-19 19:30:33 +0000 UTCAh Mr. Filthy, living the rich capitalist’s dream by building wealth from wealth earned from your family’s hard work. Nothing but pure honesty and your own hard work there haha. However, I’m really really curious to see how Jammy manages to foil Mr. Filthy’s plan here. It’s hard to stick up for the little guys in a society that runs off greed.
MEllegoo
2021-02-19 15:54:25 +0000 UTCThis is awesome, Lop! The dialogue is engaging, the angles and shadows give the perfect mood, and the layout is top notch. I agree with everyone saying that you’ve got a real talent for this kind of thing, and if you ever want to pursue writing/drawing comics professionally, you’ve got my support! :)
SmilesPerHour
2021-02-19 15:38:13 +0000 UTCBit rude. I’m aware. Normally, with something like a conversation scene between two characters, I’d spread the dialogue out over multiple pages. But this is a single practice page, so the dialogue has to be compacted to fit. I do not feel there are huge blocks of text, I feel it follows the advice of your website- there is variety in dialogue length and each character has a reason to be talking. Additionally, these wordier panels preclude more action-oriented panels, where there will be far less speaking. That’s contrast bby
Lopoddity
2021-02-19 13:22:43 +0000 UTCno one wants to read huge blocks of text on one page... https://comicsforbeginners.com/5-tips-on-writing-dialogue/
2021-02-19 05:20:59 +0000 UTCYoooooo this comic looks super good so far!!
2021-02-19 05:17:38 +0000 UTCI love how she's like, "Kid!?" in mock defence as she's sipping a juice box 🤣 This is so freaking dope! I love the intensity of that third speech bubble and just the intensity overall! Very good job!
KaeWolfe
2021-02-19 04:13:40 +0000 UTCThe anatomy isn't set in stone yet, so feel free to point out any issues!
Lopoddity
2021-02-19 03:32:26 +0000 UTCThis is incredible and I love the variety it allows with your storytelling and character building! Are you open to one small anatomy thing that I noticed? I totally understand if you don't want any feedback and this generally still SLAPS!! :3
Colbyr
2021-02-19 03:14:32 +0000 UTCAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH <3
Lopoddity
2021-02-19 02:47:00 +0000 UTCAw thanks! Hoping to finish it over the weekend. ^^ I'm glad you mentioned the pacing, I was really hoping it wasn't too stiff. I'm verrry new to working with panels and it's kinda tricky to make the story flow well through them. This is gonna be a loooong learning process
Lopoddity
2021-02-19 02:33:01 +0000 UTCJam's got a LOT of Cupcake in her
Lopoddity
2021-02-19 02:30:50 +0000 UTCLop you are absolutely KILLING IT here. Your camera angles and dialogue bubble placement are FANTASTIC. Please please please pursue this because you absolutely have an eye for it and this is 100% something you could be paid to do
Calvin Sewell
2021-02-19 02:30:21 +0000 UTCJam's bouta murder a capitalist and I stan (by the way this looks amazing!! The way you lay out your dialogue and exchanges is very organic and well paced! Can't wait to see it finished!)
Lory
2021-02-19 02:29:03 +0000 UTCThat intense panel though 😳👏🏻👏🏻😧
D
2021-02-19 02:20:03 +0000 UTCHYPE
Kas
2021-02-19 02:19:26 +0000 UTC
