Dealing with work stress
Added 2018-04-08 15:35:04 +0000 UTCHallo, everyone! I thought I'd share an in-depth update on what's going on in case anyone's interested.
I recently been doing some difficult psychological work which I had been previously busy for but which needed to be done. I have a lot of intrusive obsessive-compulsive habits that I needed to ID and track down the source of. After trying a number of different things I've determined that they are the result of work-stress. Something about the pressure of making artwork daily has just flipped out my anxiety brain to the point that I tear holes in my skin and interrupt my thought process with earworms every few seconds at least. Anyone with OCD will probably recognize this. For those of you who've never experienced it, it's very sapping. I have a lot of personal energy being stolen.
So I've at least IDed WHAT it is I'm reacting to rather than just all-day every-day freaking out. I have to find some kind of way to re-write my internal dialogue about making and sharing artwork (and more broadly, how to handle tasks in general) because what I've got going on now is NOT working. I won't get into my childhood trauma too much but my environment taught me that perfection was the only way to avoid catastrophic emotional explosions. Which, of course, is impossible, hence all the anxiety.
I've done some Cognitive Behavioral Therapy in the past and felt like it was worthy so I'll give that another shot. If I make no ground in a few months I will have to seek professional help. I'm very much a DIY kind and lawd therapy is expensive, but you gotta do what you gotta do.
Comments
!!!! I had no idea! Yeah, that's totally what it's like! they call it an impulse-control illness and like, yeah, that's soooo accurate. The picking I can uuuuuusually hold off on but the intrusive thoughts are hard to stop because they happen so darn FAST. Thanks for your support :)
hibbary
2018-04-09 03:52:58 +0000 UTCTake all the time you need. I also struggle with dermatillomania and a lot of shame and self loathing from it. I cannot pass a mirror without touching my face. Even without a mirror, my hands seems to have a mind of their own as they crawl over my skin just looking for an excuse to scratch. It's a miserable struggle and I wish you the best. If you ever need to vent or just bounce around ideas, you have a supportive crew here for you. I know it doesn't alleviate the stress, but you really do wonderful art work. I hope you can find a balance <3
Aperture
2018-04-09 02:35:32 +0000 UTCYep, that's right! I've had it since I was a teen. Yeah I find myself getting all distracted, too. :C We can start the saddest furry club.
hibbary
2018-04-08 22:58:29 +0000 UTCYap, that is it indeed, so you are like me except with skin! I actually stopped for many years but it came back recently in full blown OCD due to stress, and the stress of it as well cause it looks like my face is deforesting x’D It is gonna take a lot of hard work, and realizing subconscious habits... IT IS SO HARD XD And it takes away so much time... it took over 20 minutes to write this cause i found myself just doing it ;-;
2018-04-08 21:34:46 +0000 UTCOh yeah, that's for sure considered a comorbid mental illness associated with OCD. Trichotillomania! I've got the dermatillomania. Methinks it's one of those things that takes years of work and may not ever go away. Soooo lots of work, but I'm not afraid of work. I'm just... horribly stressed out by it, looks like XD
hibbary
2018-04-08 21:19:35 +0000 UTC
