Havoc and the Cafeteria Queen: Chapter 10: Jackie 1.6: Turrets

Why are we paying for these kids to get breakfast and lunch at school? Don’t people know you gotta be hungry if you wanna succeed?

• Bryan Johnson, CEO of United Educare Services

***

As Derek and I work our way down the roof to the corner where his baby is gonna be placed, Chyrl pings me with a question.

What limits on range and confidence do you want ‘Selene’ and I firing?

“Uh…”

I suppose those are a little redundant, but with low level AI and simple expert systems I find it’s best to define both clearly.

“Yeah, why don’t you do that?”

Chyrl’s next words sound sheepish, something I didn’t realize an AI could be. Apologies, Vanguard. I assumed you knew both terms. Not to mention why they’re important. So, because you’re not mentally impaired, you know what range is?

I roll my eyes as I hop down to a lower roof, take Selene from Derek, then help stabilize him when he drops down himself.

Chyrl takes that as enough of an answer. So if the automated defenses open fire on an Antithesis which hasn’t yet realized that this building is defended, and therefore likely has biomass, that Antithesis and any around them will then know that the building is, in fact, defended.

“Which will make them come at us.”

Exactly.

“You really think you’re gonna miss?”

Teachbot is not a combat drone, and the shock of firing handguns will eventually cause her servos to begin degrading, thus reducing her accuracy. Similarly, her optical sensors aren’t really intended for precise targeting. Which brings us to confidence. 

She pauses, and I nod for her to keep going as Derek and I work our way down to the next roof.

Confidence, which most find most comfortably and intuitively expressed as a percentage, is the calculated likelihood of an action achieving its goal.

“You mean a shot hitting its target.”

If we were in a marksmanship competition, certainly, but in this case it also includes the chance of the gun misfiring, the chance of the shot killing the target, and any other miscellaneous factors which might cause the action of ‘attempting to kill the antithesis by firing a handgun at it’ to fail.

That really ought to have felt snarkier, but I realize right then that for an AI, especially an AI trying to program a dumb expert system or teach a really slow low level AI, those kinds of details might make or break things. “Okay. Which one takes priority? Range or Confidence?”

Whichever and however you’d like.

I nod as we work our way down to the roof we’ll be placing Selene on. “I’m guessing you want me to make the decisions? Like, to reduce the point loss or whatever?”

Not to mention this being your task; I’m merely an assistant here to facilitate your acquisition of materiel to do so.

I smile. “Yeah, yeah, yeah. And to do math for me and help me out with shit I’m too much of a noob to understand.” I hold up a hand, both to forestall her reply and to get Derek to wait a second. “With that in mind, help my poor meat brain out a little, even just make me feel better. Does ninety percent confidence sound like a good point to shoot?”

Derek, realizing I’m talking to my AI or just shutting up ‘cause I put my hand up, doesn’t answer, but still nods. Chyrl says, just remember that an automated system will not fire if confidence isn’t high enough. Similarly, it will fire wildly if its confidence threshold is set too low.

I think on that while I clear off some of the gravel and debris from the corner of the roof. Then I realize I’ve got another set of hands, and nod for Derek to do it. “How complicated can the rules be?”

As complex as you like, although do note that for the simple turrets, if the directives are too complex or nested, it may affect their firing speed.

“Okay. I don’t want to lure them to us. Especially while we’ve only got a couple turrets up. But I really don’t want them just roaming free either. Besides, every dead Antithesis is another day’s food for everybody.”

Go on.

“If they’re more than two blocks away and alone, shoot them if confidence is one hundred percent.”

I’m afraid to tell you that confidence will never be one hundred percent with a single firing platform. There is always some margin for error. Also, even with mechanical precision, pistols are unlikely to achieve more than ninety percent confidence at greater than fifty meters.

I sigh. “Okay. If they’re more than fifty meters away and alone, shoot if confidence is ninety percent or higher.”

Fair. What else?

“If they’re swarming, even a little one like what popped out from under the tree, we need to kill them as fast as we can. If there’s more than one and they’re inside the Füd Bär line, shoot if confidence is higher than fifty percent.”

What about collateral?

“Yeah, no, I don’t want my boys getting shot. No collateral.”

Are you absolutely certain?

“Yeah, I…” I stop. So far Chyrl hasn’t been really hardcore bloodthirsty, and her comments like that are usually when I’m moving towards making a rookie mistake. “Okay, why do you ask?”

If a human is being chased by Antithesis, the guns will not be able to protect them if you’ve set ‘avoiding collateral’ to one hundred percent confidence. In the case of ‘no collateral’, they can only guarantee that by not firing.

I blow out a bunch of air, puffing my cheeks out as Derek waves a hand at the now clear corner of the roof. I start working the legs of the turret around until I find a way to set them so the gun can point almost straight down if it has to. “Okay then. Ninety percent confidence on no collateral.”

What about humans beyond the perimeter?

“Sugar honey iced tea. Okay. In case I don’t remember to say it later, thanks for backing me up, Chyrl.”

It’s what I’m here for.

“So if the turrets detect a human within, uh, three meters of an Antithesis, fire if there’s at least ninety percent confidence we won’t hit a human.”

Range?

“However far they are. If nothing else, it might give them the idea they can get to safety here, or it might distract the Antithesis long enough for them to get away.”

I get the sense that was the right answer. As you wish, Vanguard. Anything else?

“Oh, yeah. Definitely. If there’s a single Antithesis within the perimeter, but only one? Fire when there’s ninety five percent confidence.”

What about higher level Models?

“Uh…”

Larger or heavier models, like the four you killed, or more likely sixes and beyond, may not be within the capability of a single shot to kill.

“Can you make the rules allow for bursts, or multiple shots?”

I can.

“Yeah, do that. If there’s some big tanky plant out there, better to pour fire into it before it’s knocking down our doors, right?

It is. Anything else?

“Yeah. I’ve got rules for singles and groups within the ‘perimeter’, I’ve got rules for long range sniping, but there’s that range in between. For singles, ninety five percent, for groups eighty percent.”

Excellent. Any other directives for your turrets?

I think about it for a second while I get Derek to hold Selene in place so I can pull off the sticky tabs. Careful. Upon removal those will release a burst of something similar to superglue. Only more caustic and stronger.

I stop daydreaming and focus on what I’m doing. As each tab comes off and Derek presses the leg against the stone, smoke rises from beneath the foot of the turret. When it clears, the turret leg has fused with the stone completely. With one foot in place, I nod to him to start working on the others while I talk with Chyrl.

“Can’t think of any.”

Now for priorities.

“Huh?”

If you don’t prioritize the directives, it can easily lock a simple system into a loop.

“Okay, Review the rules again?”

Directive - Begin Firing on Singleton Antithesis at greater than Fifty(50  meters when Kill confidence is Ninety(90) percent or higher
Directive - Begin Firing on Grouped Antithesis at less than Ten(10) meters when Kill confidence is Fifty(50) percent or higher
Directive - Begin Firing on Antithesis within Three(3) meters of a Human when No Collateral confidence is Ninety(90) percent or higher.
Directive - Begin Firing on Singleton Antithesis at less than Ten(10) meters when Kill confidence is Ninety-Five(95) percent or higher.
Directive - Begin Firing on Singleton Antithesis at less than Fifty(50) meters when Kill confidence is Ninety-Five percent or higher.
Directive - Begin Firing on Grouped Antithesis at less than Fifty(50) meters when Kill confidence is Eighty(80) percent or higher.

Her whole recital sounds almost mechanical, like she’s reading from a script. “What’s with the… you’re reading those off of some kind of list?”

Indeed. One you can access and modify through your augs when you need to, but for now I thought it best if I set the initial list up and customize the aug interface to use terms you’re familiar with.

“Thanks, Chyrl. Uh… top priority is saving humans.”

Setting that as Directive One.

“Okay, next priority is probably close in stuff, groups before singles.”

Setting those as Directives Two and Three.

I stop a second, thinking. “If we snipe an Antithesis way off in the distance, are Antithesis in that middle ground gonna hear and react?”

Possibly.

“Depending on?”

How well the silencers perform, whether they happen to be looking in the direction of the target Antithesis, and how many there are.

I sigh. “Okay. Mid range groups before long range sniping, mid range singles last.”

Setting directives Four, Five, and Six. Would you like to review them?

“Can you maybe show me how to get to them with my augs?”

A moment later my aug interface pops up. I’m still a little in awe at how smooth the animation is, and Chyrl guides me through the menus, first to my Samurai gear, then to the turrets, then the directive list.

Priority

Directive

One(1)

Begin Firing on Antithesis within Three(3) meters of a Human when No Collateral confidence is Ninety(90) percent or higher.

Two(2)

Begin Firing on Grouped Antithesis at less than Ten(10) meters when Kill confidence is Fifty(50) percent or higher

Three(3)

Begin Firing on Singleton Antithesis at less than Ten(10) meters when Kill confidence is Ninety-Five(95) percent or higher.

Four(4)

Begin Firing on Grouped Antithesis at less than Fifty(50) meters when Kill confidence is Eighty(80) percent or higher.

Five(5)

Begin Firing on Singleton Antithesis at greater than Fifty(50  meters when Kill confidence is Ninety(90) percent or higher

Six(6)

Begin Firing on Singleton Antithesis at less than Fifty(50) meters when Kill confidence is Ninety-Five percent or higher.

“Whoa. That’s pretty slick.” I swap directives three and four, just to prove I can, I guess, then put them back. “Okay, what else do I need to do?”

Is ‘Selene’ ready?

I look down at Derek where he kneels next to his baby, and he smiles and shoots me a thumbs up. “Looks like it.”

Shall I activate her?

“Is Teachbot in place?”

Not quite.

“What about the other four guys?”

As best I can tell from triangulating their abysmally substandard augs, they are in fact in the spots you assigned them.

“Okay, as soon as Teachbot’s in place, light her up.”

As you wish, Vanguard.

While we’re waiting, I send Tony down to fill his pockets with more nine millimeter rounds. The roof we’re on is just a few feet above the Cafeteria roof, and the ROTC classroom is pretty easily accessible from there, so it’s just plain easier for him to head over the rooftops at this point.

I send a message to the two pairs guarding the other corners, letting them know to tell me, Tony, or Willy if they run low on ammunition. They each reply with simple thumbs up emojis. Then I send a message to Tony and Willy, asking them to give Mikalah any spare magazines that will fit Teachbot’s guns, along with any ammunition in our three remaining old pistols, then reload those pistols with the good Protector nine millimeter ammunition and give one to each of the teachers.

Willy texts back, “U No Dirk give Ariana”

I reply, “thas on him”

I glance over to see Tony and Willy manhandling Teachbot down to the roof overlooking the elevated breezeway and the other approaches to the cafeteria. As I look over, Chyrl says, while they’re discommended for unaugmented humans, I should be able to use Lab Jack It’s silencers. May I have four please?

I smile. “Sure. You’re my favorite AI, I’mma buy you all the things.”

Flatterer.

New Purchase: Mark 1 Cone of Silence x4
Points reduced to... 7

Finally I notice the owner-operator of the bodega across the street from the school step out of his door and look around, carrying a bag of trash. Not something I’d prioritize, but maybe whatever’s in there is stinking up the shop, or worse the shop and the little apartment he lives in above it. Of course, he gets about a step beyond the corner when he’s assaulted by the reek of the Extreme Fiesta minefield Marcus set up. He looks toward the dumpster, sagging when he sees it’s been properly closed. Then he brightens up when he shades his eyes and notices a small pile of garbage bags somebody dumped beside the dumpster. He takes a few steps closer, getting close enough to yeet the bag he’s carrying into the pile without breaking it when it lands.

I’m still stewing a little that somebody thought to close the dumpster, but still piled garbage next to it, when Chyrl says, Teachbot is in place and ready to fire. Activating Selene now. 

The moment she says that, Selene swings around to point at the dude across the street. Before I can even say anything, she shifts slightly to the left and fires off a quick burst. I realize immediately why the silencers aren’t perfect, and why they’re not for human use. The clear plastic shield deflects a bunch of not-bullet stuff back at my shins, and if my bodysuit reduces it to somebody slapping me repeatedly with a ruler, it’s still not pleasant.

Meanwhile the bullets slam into the garbage bags, and green goop splatters out around the points of impact.Then the dude’s garbage bag lands, and what looked like a pile of garbage bags a moment before slumps sideways, vines and leaves splaying across the ground. One of those vines flops over an Extreme Fiesta Füd Bär and twitches. Selene drops another burst into the corpse, and it stops twitching.

Target Eliminated!
Reward... 25 Points

“Chyrl?”

Apologies, Samurai, I…

“What in the for unlawful Colonel’s Kentucky fried fudge was that?”

That was a Model nine. Stealth Model. A low level assassin Model.

“Yeah, you were gonna tell me about those when?”

There are dozens of Models active on Earth at present. Hundreds of variations. We AI tend to tell our Samurai about them as they encounter them.

“Yeah. Why don’t you give me a quick rundown of Models one through ten. Right now. With pictures. Please.”

As you wish. While she warms up I shoot Tony and Derek a message to collect the nine’s corpse for disposal. 

Model one. I get a picture of a green seagull lookin’ thing. Airborne scout, generally only dangerous to impaired humans or in flocks.

Model two. This time the picture looks bigger, beefier, like a big predator bird, only made out of alien plant parts. A cartoonish me stands next to it, showing me it’s maybe half to two thirds  the size of a Model three. Airborne attacker, equivalent danger to a Model three.

Model three. The picture is of one of the ones I shot while trying to get them off the window. Ground based Scout and attacker. Dangerous to unarmed or impaired humans.

Model four. I never got a great look at the one I tangled with, mostly just remembering tentacles, but it’s a chunky quadruped with no real ‘head’ to speak of. An arrow points at the juncture of its four legs. Attacker, ambusher, psych warfare. Lethal to unarmed or impaired humans, dangerous to trained humans.

Model five. This time the me-for-scale figure shows me that the thing I’m standing next to is the size of a small car or big motorcycle. It’s a little bit like a bear, sort of like the two was ‘like a bird of prey’. That size, that feel, but made out of alien plant bits. Of course along with the general bear vibes, it’s also got quills like one of those extinct porcupine things we learned about in school. Ranged attacker, fires spines coated in a neurotoxin. Easily capable of penetrating your bodysuit if they hit it squarely.

“How do I keep them from hitting me squarely?”

Duck.

I smile despite myself. “Thanks.”

Model fives are lethal to humans up to and including new Vanguard and trained military units.

Model six. This one’s even bigger. Like, big truck big. Looks like a six legged rhinoceros, or maybe a hippopotamus. Like the pictures I’ve seen, at least. No idea how big either of those are, really. Command unit, directs other Antithesis to focus their efforts on hard targets, as well as acting as a heavy attacker and damage sponge. Model sixes are lethal to humans including inexperienced Vanguards and military units without anti-tank weaponry.

Model seven. I get kinda squicked as I see the writhing little worm. I’m not sure if it’s better or worse when I realize it’s maybe the size of an udon noodle. Infiltration unit. Burrows into a host’s nervous system, destroying brain function and hijacking their voluntary muscle control. Okay, it’s worse.

“Great. Not just a plant apocalypse, but a zombie plant apocalypse on the side.” I think for half a second, then realize that there’s no way we can make the school proof against something like that. “Is there any way to stop them?”

Other than stepping on them?

I roll my eyes. “Yeah. Like, don’t you have some kind of super pill to de-zombify someone?”

There are preventative pills. In theory if administered before too much brain damage occurs, they can stop further damage.

“Preventatives? How much do those cost? How long do they last?”

Roughly fourteen hours, and a pack of ten Model seven preventative pills costs one point.

“Give me eighty of those now. Remind me in ten hours to get more, please?” Before I’m done speaking, I send a message for Dirk to send a runner up to me to help distribute the anti-Zombie pills.

As you wish, Vanguard.

New Purchase: Model Seven Proofing Pills, 10 pack, x8
Points reduced to... 24

I take a deep breath, popping open the spatula marked case, grabbing one of the pills and downing it before handing one to Derek. After making sure he’s swallowed it, I head toward where Mikalah crouched behind Teachbot.

“Go on. Tell me the Model eight isn’t another worm.”

I’m sorry, Jackie, I can’t do that.

“I don’t even wanna know why that’s making you giggle, do I?”

Classic Terran comedy film. At any rate, Model eight. This time the worm looks less like a noodle and more like a pillbug or a millipede. Then I get a look at the little picture of me for scale, and I realize this is the biggest Model I’ve seen yet.

“Do they just keep getting nastier the higher the numbers go?”

As a rule, yes, but the Model Eight is mostly harmless.

“Mostly?”

It’s the size of a large bulk transport vehicle. A city bus or a semi truck. Model eights don’t attack deliberately, but it could kill someone by accidentally squashing them.

“Yeah, that’d be an accident.”

In fact, it would. Model eights ingest biomass to take it back to the nearest Hive. Biomass squashed into a fine paste underneath them is harder to collect.

“Great.”

As I was saying, Model eight. Armored Transport. Collects biomass and transports it to Hives. Model eights are dangerous to incapacitated humans and immobilized biomass.

I sigh. “I just saw the Model nine. Camouflaged assassins, right?”

Shapeshifting camouflaged assassins. But yes.

“Of course they are. So what’s the Model Ten? Invisible intangible nightmare creature that eats kittens and puppies preferentially?”

Model ten. This time the image is of… a monkey. By the scale human, a medium small one, like maybe big enough to reach to my thigh. It’s got little pruning blades on the backs of its arms. It’s got six arms, so six blades. “Lemme guess, they jump on people and stab them, like some kind of demented monkey velociraptor?”

No. Model tens are hive tenders. They have no combat role. The blades you’ve observed are used to cut other Models free from their gestation chambers. Isolated reports have them acting in defense of a Hive, but given those same reports say they were mostly ineffective, they may simply have been attempting to assist other Models to escape their gestation chambers in order to defend the Hive itself.

“Huh. Okay, then. So if I see one of those?”

That means you are either within sight of the Hive, or in close proximity to a Hive that is large enough to have gestation chambers in separate areas.

“Right.” I sigh, hand over a pill to Mikalah, then head to meet Dirk’s runner at the ROTC room.

“Hey Miss Jackie. Dirk said you needed me?”

“Hey Georgie.” I smile as the skinny little goth frowns when she realizes I remember her actual name. Not like she’s changed it or dropped it entirely. I’m not the kind of person to deadname somebody. But I can never keep up with her endless stream of nicknames. I hand her the box of pills. “I need you to make sure everybody in the building gets one of these and takes it. Even the little kids.”

“What are they?” She pulls one of the pills out and looks at it.

“The Antithesis have little worms that will crawl into you and eat your brain and make you a zombie. Those are anti-zombie pills.”

She frowns with it halfway to her mouth. “They’re not gonna kill us or something, are they?”

I open my mouth, pause, and Chyrl says, no, Jackie, although there are adverse side effects if you take more than one every eight to twelve hours.

“Yeah, my AI says no, but if you take too many too fast, like more than one every twelve hours, you’re gonna get sick. Just like extra Strength headache pills.Just make sure everybody gets one and takes it, okay?”

I guess me repeating myself does the trick, because she nods and races off. I sigh, look around, and realize that the day’s wearing on. It’s not time for the kids to head home yet, but it’s definite time and past time for me to start working on the food to send home with them. I shoot Dirk, Miss Williams, and Miss Feliciano messages for them to collect up all the boxes the Samurai food came in and send a runner down to the cafeteria with them. I let them know I’m gonna fill ‘em with food for the night, because otherwise I know at least one of the kids will think I’m keeping them and try to hide theirs.

I get down to the Cafeteria, look back and forth between the mess on the tables and floor, then bounce my way to the kitchen. I can take care of the mess later, but I’ve got to have dinner ready before it’s time for the kids to go home.