Darkest Before Dawn - 114

Chapter 114 [Kazuki Endo] “Mr. Special Treatment is back, huh?” Kazuki held back the instinctive flinch at the words and plastered a smile o

Chapter 114

[Kazuki Endo]

“Mr. Special Treatment is back, huh?”

Kazuki held back the instinctive flinch at the words and plastered a smile on his face. The words were friendly, after all, even if the feeling behind them was decidedly not. Everything had been fine the last time he’d been there, so why was he suddenly picking up on negativity? Negativity that seemed to be directed at him too, even if it wasn’t much.

Had he done something without even realizing?

“Sorry about that, guys,” he replied, bringing a hand up to rub the back of his neck. “Hope I’m not making you all’s lives too hard,” he added, a little relieved that it only seemed to be the one guy that was annoyed. If the whole crew of the movie started hating his guts, then he didn’t know what he’d do. Was quitting halfway through even a reasonable option?

Suddenly, he was a little nervous about the days he’d needed to take off the job, between his eventful I-Island visit and the school trip right around the corner. He knew that his participation in the thing would cause a mess and that certain people in production hadn’t been fans of the scheduling mess, but he’d thought it was mostly fine. Hell, he hadn’t even been able to pick up any of the negative emotions he’d felt before on them.

So, why was one of his fellow actors suddenly annoyed about that?

“Don’t worry about it, Monster Daddy,” Camie chimed in and he almost flinched for an entirely different reason. Surely that meme would die eventually, right? Even if it’d gotten a little more fuel after that video in I-Island…

Surely he’d be able to put that behind him at some point, right?

“It’s awesome to have you here, even if the times are all shuffled,” Camie continued speaking and he could only hope that’d be the last time she called him that awful nickname. “Besides, we have a real hero in our midst now. An international one at that. I’m sure the movie will sell like crazy. We might even start doing advertisement work instead of keeping it all hush hush.”

“Might not be enough of a selling point over here to counter his reputation,” Shizuka chimed in, looking unimpressed and downright dismissive as she checked her nails. Funnily enough, despite her attitude, her emotions weren’t that bad most of the time. Kazuki was starting to compare her to Minoru in that they expressed a lot more emotion than they actually felt.

“Camie is a Hero student too, isn’t she? We don’t have to accommodate this much for her,” Tomio Teruya said. Yes, Kazuki had eventually managed to learn Mr. Protagonist’s name properly. He was also the most annoyed by his situation, for whatever reason. Maybe he could ask Hina if he was missing something? Was he more bothered than everyone else because he played the main character and the schedule adaptations messed with him more?

“UA’s curriculum is just different that way, and Kazuki is a lot more high profile than we are,” Camie defended, which was funny. He was pretty sure she should be the most offended by the difference in their treatment. After all, Tomio was right. She was a hero student of a different school from his – he didn’t remember which one – and she got a lot less benefits for it than Kazuki did.

“Are you calling us nobodies?”

“Stop being so insecure, Teruya. It’s not a good look,” Shizuka said, very clearly done with the conversation, her tone cold and curt. “He’s more infamous than you’re famous. Being jealous of that is both stupid and childish,” the girl added, making the other boy grimace, hurt and angry. “Now, if we’re done. I’d rather not listen to this if it’s not going to be productive.”

With a nod, Kazuki decided to just not worry about whatever issue Teruya seemed to have with him. If his fellow actors were bothered by his situation, then he just needed to make sure not to give them any more things to feel bad about. So, he decided that maybe Shizuka had a point and it was better to be productive.

“Sure thing,” he said, straightening his back and facing Shizuka, who seemed to stop where she stood and look up at him. “Want to practice our scenes? We’re supposed to film one of those today, right? Might as well rehearse a little.”

Kazuki was surprised to see her expression turn even less friendly than before. That wasn’t the truly surprising part though, not really. It was the fact that her emotions seemed to display the opposite. Whatever little negativity there was seemed to go away. So, he guessed she was pleased with his idea, or something along those lines.

That made it all the easier to smile at her his most friendly smile.

He wanted to get along with his peers, after all. Maybe Teruya was annoyed with him, but if he could salvage the situation with everyone else, that’d be great. Shizuka might not be the friendliest person, but if he could have her and Camie somewhat in his corner, his life would be a lot easier, since they were some of the biggest characters in the movie. Not to say he’d neglect everyone else, of course, but they were the most powerful of the cast, as it were, besides Teruya and Kazuki himself.

“Good to see someone can do away with the useless chatter,” the girl huffed and he just continued grinning at her, since there was no animosity coming from her. “Any of you want to help? Endo and I don’t have that many scenes with just us, but we can make it work if you all have something… better to do,” she added, turning towards everyone else, which caused Camie to jump excitedly towards them.

“Sure thing! The three of us have a scene or two, right? We can work on that!” she offered.

Kazuki tried not to pay too much attention to the spike of negativity coming from Teruya.

He really didn’t know what to do in that regard.

[}-o-{]

Kazuki felt oddly relaxed at that very moment.

After a somewhat stressful day at the set, playing his violin felt like taking a weight off his shoulders.

His body moved with ease, a calm that he didn’t remember the last time he felt. Not even his neck nor his arm nor his hand felt any tension, despite how demanding the instrument was of those and the audience that had gathered in Uwabami’s break room. The melody was slow, soft, warm and he felt all that while playing it.

Idly, he wondered if he ought to play more.

He’d started to like doing so those days. The instrument had gone from a bitter, helpless memory far in the past to something he treasured. No longer did he hear the scathing words of his mother when he played. They were there, yes, but he also heard the praise from his friends, the kind words of his mentors and guardians. Kazuki thought it was a personal victory of sorts, to turn something that had made him miserable once upon a time into something that brought him joy.

Maybe it was all just a lucky break from how exhausted and heavy he’d felt those last few days, even without the mess at I-Island. If so, then he was grateful for it. Good fortune or not, he felt like he’d needed something to go his way and that odd moment of relaxation was certainly welcome.

Idly, as he played a long note, he glanced around and saw his audience, his mentor and her staff, all gathered around the room and even on the hall outside. He felt their gazes on him, focused, intent and, dare he say, appreciative. Something strong and pleased welled in his chest and he straightened his back the smallest bit before playing the next part. He played it harder, more intently, with a touch more power than he otherwise would. He felt it fitting, but more importantly, he wanted to channel some of what he felt.

Things were going well for him, despite the up and downs and despite how weary he felt at times. He was making progress. People’s opinions were coming around. He had friends and teachers and… a life. He had all the things he thought he’d never have.

So, as he played, he thought of his old self, the jaded, bitter and depressed Kazuki that Nezu had taken out of his cell. He thought of himself then and how he was after months of working for a better future. He didn’t think it was a dream anymore. It would have been one, after all, to get where he was at that very moment. So, he thought he could dream bigger then and there.

He wasn’t some reject that would have to be content with scraps.

Kazuki could get somewhere in the world, he could be somebody. He could be successful and happy. He could- No. He would be a hero. He’d be up there in the rankings. He would have friends, and teammates, and sidekicks and his own agency. People would look at him and be reassured. They would feel safe. No longer would he have to feel a part of him flinching whenever he came across someone in the street. No longer would he feel like good things were miracles.

At that moment, Kazuki felt like all of that was a real possibility that could happen. Those weren’t dreams anymore. Those were a future that could happen, that he could strive for, could hope for. He could dream bigger than that.

He could dream like any other boy. He could dream of being Number One hero. He could dream of being famous. He could dream of being great.

And as he realized all that, with music at the tip of his fingers, he almost cried tears of joy.

“That was beautiful,” Hina told him, clapping slowly as she approached him. Kazuki gave her a tired, but very content smile, letting his shoulders drop and feeling the weight of the violin as he let it down. The silence after all the music felt odd, boring, disappointing, even without him taking into account the dejected feelings of those that had to go back to work. He wanted to keep playing, but sadly he couldn’t do that forever. “I wish I could hear you play everyday.”

“Well,” he started, taking a deep breath in and moving to get his instrument back in its case. “Remember to get me to play more next time. I… I really liked that. It was… freeing,” he said, moving slowly, deliberately. As he did so, he tried to burn the feeling, the state he'd just accomplished, deep in his mind, his soul, before it slipped completely between his metaphorical fingers. He’d want to try and replicate that later, that was for sure.

As it was, the moment he’d stopped playing, it was like it’d all started vanishing into thin air.

“I can tell you that we all loved it,” Hina told him, looking like she meant it. Oddly, Kazuki didn’t feel any part of his mind argue a more depressing look on that. “It’s going to be painful to wait for the next show.”

“Another reason for you to try and get me a trip here sooner,” he pointed out jokingly.

“For sure,” she said, very seriously. Kazuki didn’t try nearly as hard as he should have to squash the happy, warm feeling that filled him at that moment. “Still, I hope you have fun on your trip, Kazuki. I know you’re excited for it,” she added, a soft smile on her face that had him grinning right back at her.

“I hope so too,” he replied, closing the violin’s case with a satisfying click. Then he took a deep breath in, taking in all the thoughts he’d had while playing. And he realized that a lot of what he’d accomplished could be attributed to the woman that was standing beside him. “Thank you, Hina,” he said, looking up and something in his expression or his voice or something else must have taken her by surprise, because her eyes widened the smallest bit.

“For what?”

“For everything,” was all he said, not trusting himself to speak more than that. Instead, he decided to try and convey things with actions. Thus, he stepped forward and wrapped his arms around Hina. She reacted slowly, as if trying to confirm that he was doing what he was, indeed, doing.

“... You’re welcome, Kazuki,” she replied and he grinned wider, even though she couldn’t see it.

For a single second, as he hugged her tighter, he indulged the greedy part of his mind.

[}-o-{]

“You didn’t have to welcome me like this, you know?” he asked, pushing his luggage into his room. Once he set it in a corner though, he looked at it for a long moment, wondering if he had the will to take it all out… and then he decided that he didn’t. He’d do that later.

Spoiler alert: he would not, in fact, do it later.

“Didn’t have to, but I wanted to,” Nemuri answered, from all the way in the kitchen where she seemed to be trying extra hard with dinner. She had actually picked him up from the train when he got off on his way back from Hina’s. It had been a surprise, for sure. He did have to keep up his regular messages to his guardians so they always knew where he was and such, but few of them actually bothered showing up to such places to check on him unless they were in the area, much less actually accompanying him anywhere.

Then again, Nemuri was proving to be a special case in terms of his guardianship. She didn’t need to cook for him either, but there she was, almost every day. Then again, maybe it wasn’t all on the guardian deal. Felt more like a… weird friendship? He didn’t really know what to call it, if he was honest.

Whatever it was though, he was grateful for it. It was nice to have someone around, just… being there. Nemuri and him didn’t even talk sometimes. She’d grade papers or maybe do some other kind of paperwork while he did his own homework. She’d cook, or maybe he would, or maybe they’d work together on it. She’d talk to him, advise him. He’d make Kitten Sabyr for her to relax and play with.

It was… nice.

“Thanks,” he said, not at all meaning it as just for picking him up. It was a day of gratitude, he supposed. He felt good though, so that probably had something to do with it. His mind was always clearer and he was a lot more open, when he was feeling better. At least then he didn’t try to keep away from everyone and dive into his negativity in the dark corners of his mind. “So, did I miss anything over here?” he asked, moving back to the living room and going to check on both his plants and his fish tank.

The plants he was confident were fine, but he had to make sure the water parameters in the tank were fine. Never knew when something could spike and make the fish sick and/or kill them. They seemed to be doing alright though. Benefits of having it fairly well established and with a lot of plants to keep a good balance.

“Everything alright?” Nemuri asked, apparently amused for some reason he finished storing his water testing kit. “I didn’t overfeed them this time, by the way.”

“Thanks for that. I know it can be a bother and they aren’t your pets, so-”

“Don’t worry about it, Kazuki,” Nemuri interrupted, fond exasperation written all over her face. “I don’t mind at all. I like watching them myself from time to time. You’re right. There’s something beautiful about having a piece of nature right there,” she said and for some reason that made him incredibly happy to hear. Because yes, everyone liked looking at his fish tank and such, but he didn’t think they understood why he bothered with the work it implied.

It was like the difference between a random person drinking wine and a connoisseur. Not to say he was that knowledgeable or good at it, but there was just a difference in passion there. Toru had been the only one that had showed any kind of interest and he had his doubts about that, honestly. Nemuri seemed to genuinely not care about helping him feed his pets and-

“Wait, did you clean the glass?” he asked then, frowning and leaning closer to the tank. There was no algae whatsoever there, and that was rare, especially when he wasn’t around for a while. The snails weren’t that good at keeping it clean, at least not in their current numbers, so…

“Yep, makes the viewing experience better,” the woman replied and Kazuki was sure his awe showed in his expression. “What?”

“You’re the best,” he said, grinning widely and getting a pleased grin right back.

“And don’t you forget it,” she added, striking a dramatic “heroic pose” before giggling. “Now, can you set the table, food’s about to be ready.”

“Sure thing,” he replied easily, already moving to look for the plates.

“Can I just say? It’s great to see you in a good mood.”

“I’m having a good day, I guess,” was all he could say as an explanation, shrugging even though she wasn’t looking. “And besides, I’ve been looking forward to the school trip like you wouldn’t believe. It’ll be great to take a break and just have fun. Feels like I’ve been doing nothing but work since forever ago,” he explained, however, near the end, his enthusiasm faded the smallest bit.

Why?

Because Nemuri started registering more firmly in his sense. Sadness and pity and guilt started welling in her and they only got worse as he spoke and even afterwards. That was a huge clue that he was missing something and Kazuki turned to stare at her. She was making no attempt to hide her emotions either, but that wasn’t surprising. She’d learned that was useless.

This time though, there was no instantaneous Kitten Sabyr for her.

“Is something the matter?” he asked hesitantly. “You guys aren’t cancelling the trip, right?” he added jokingly, only for whatever was left of his smile to disappear when her emotions got worse. “You are?!”

“It wasn’t cancelled,” she answered, but that was hardly a comfort when she was feeling as she did. He stared at her, waiting for a better answer than that. “I shouldn’t say…” she mumbled, fidgeting with her fingers and looking over her shoulder at the food. He almost expected her to make an excuse and run to check on the meal or something. She didn’t though. “But, I guess there’s no point when you know something is up. And Aizawa said he’d tell you all tomorrow.”

“Nemuri,” he urged, feeling uneasy and more than a little disappointed. The way the woman was feeling told him that he definitely wouldn’t like whatever was going on. That sucked. Was he just cursed to not have nice things, after all?

“Sorry, it’s just…” she started, sighing and glancing towards the cooking food once more. “You remember what happened with Midoriya?”

“At I-Island?” Kazuki asked back, a confused frown on his face. What’d that have to do with anything?

“No, before that.”

“The villain encounter at the mall?” he asked, even more confused. He’d heard a thing or two about that, but nothing much. There were villain attacks at places like that all the time. Hardly ever were they serious and Kazuki thought that was about it too. Surely he’d have heard more about that if it were something serious, right?

Although, he was hearing about it now…

“He was attacked by the same villain that attacked the USJ,” Nemuri said and his eyes widened. “It spooked everyone, especially people with a higher pay grade than me. That’s twice that an UA student was attacked, targeted, and we can’t take that. So, the trip had to be… adjusted.”

“Can I know how?” he asked, the smallest bit relieved that they weren’t cancelling the whole thing. All the same though, that was a small comfort. Kazuki had a feeling that his luck had returned to normal, with a little extra kick just because he’d gotten too positive.

‘Life just likes screwing with me when I’m doing well, huh?’ he thought dejectedly.

“First of all, the location was changed and it’ll remain a secret. We can’t tell you much about it, honestly. The only reason I’m telling you is because Aizawa will inform you all tomorrow about the changes,” Nemuri explained and he nodded slowly. That didn’t sound so bad. He didn’t really care where they went, honestly. Was that all? Because- “The second change is that… Well, it was decided that it might be better if you got a little extra training, in case another USJ incident does happen, despite all the security measures.”

-… Kazuki really hated his life.

“So, more work, huh?” he mumbled, sitting on one of his chairs and deflating. Just when he thought he’d get to take a break from training and studying and responsibilities and… Kazuki sighed. Of course. “I guess it could be worse.”

“I’m sorry,” Nemuri said and it helped that she meant it. She really felt bad for the change. The problem was that it didn’t really do much for him other than feed him more negativity. He almost felt like asking if he could just skip the whole thing and stay home.

Actually…

“No chance I can just stay here, right?” he asked, almost a last ditch effort. After all, not to brag, but he worked more than everyone else when it came to training. His studies were also fairly good, all things considered. He also had a literal job to handle. So…

Nemuri’s expression and feelings told him all that he needed to know.

‘Was worth a try,’ he thought, not really paying attention to what the woman said after that. Instead, he… sulked. He wasn’t proud about that, but that was the truth. He just sat there, feeling disappointed and angry. Not at UA or anyone in particular – other than the villains that had caused the entire situation –, but angry in general. Angry at the fact that something he’d looked forward to so much was just… not going to happen.

It was also very… sad. He’d been looking forward to that trip because it’d be a chance to not do anything serious. It was a chance for him to relax without having to worry about training, or studying, or doing PR work, or anything that he could be worried or tense about. Instead, he was going to be training more in order to better survive if villains attacked them.

Not exactly the calm vacation he’d thought the entire thing would be.

‘Hey there,’ he read on the screen of his phone midway through dinner. Looking at his barely touched meal and then back at the device, he decided that he wasn’t feeling that hungry.

He felt bad, especially when Nemuri’s emotions got even worse, but he pushed the plate away all the same and focused on his phone. He’d eat that meal later or take it for lunch the following day, he supposed. It was a shame too, Nemuri had really done a great job with it, but… All the thoughts in his head didn’t really let him taste much.

‘Doing alright back home? The fishies doing well?’ was the next message Hina sent him.

“Yeah-” he started writing before his finger paused over the screen. A moment later he deleted that and went to write again. “Got here ok and the tank is fine. Nemuri just told me that they are changing the trip though.”

‘Oh? Going somewhere more exciting?’ Hina asked him almost immediately and he hesitated a little more before just going for it.

“No,” was all he replied with, because he had been told most of what was going to happen was going to be a secret. Still, his mentor was great at reading between the lines. He knew-

‘I’m so sorry,’ she said and he gripped the edge of his phone the smallest bit harder. He didn’t know why he’d expected telling her to somehow make him feel better, but it didn’t. It was just one of those moments that sucked. He didn’t even know if he was exaggerating or not. Maybe he was just being silly?

Yet, he couldn’t shake the disappointment all the same.

So, with a sigh, he stood up and moved to sit in front of his fish tank and just stare blankly into it. At least that way he could make his mind go quiet for a little bit. He could use some of that peace at that moment.

[} Chapter End {]

Hey guys! How’s it going?

Why can’t Kazuki have a nice day, man? I was all happy and warm writing the first half of the chapter and then I got to the second and I remembered that, yeah, the trip wasn’t going to go how Kazuki wanted. Then the Muse proceeded to kick the happy, warm feelings right in the teeth.

She’s a meanie like that.

All the same, I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter.

Discord Link: discord.gg/UTDransjJZ

Random Question: What’s the first thing that comes to your mind right now? Mine is that I have a slight headache that I really hope won’t get worse. I need to write some more DBD after this…

See you.