'M' is For: [Ch16] The Harder They Fall - Part 1

Warning: This chapter contains some darker themes, including abuse.

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Alex showed up at Missy’s apartment in a burgundy velvet blazer. With his tousled dark curls and heavy rings, he looked like a lost rockstar, or a mildly dangerous gothic vampire that had wandered off a television set. I bit back a smile as we exchanged kisses in the lobby.

The doorman, Ernie, and I exchanged a friendly greeting as I led Alex into the elevator.

“You look absolutely divine,” Alex praised as I undid the buttons keeping my coat closed.

“Thank you,” I said, smiling.

The trip to the 56th floor had never felt so short. All too soon, the elevator doors opened. I could hear the sound of music emanating from the far end of the hallway, the bass making the floor leap beneath my feet with its pounding vibrations. When we reached Missy’s apartment, I rapped on the door and waited.

The door was opened by a man I could only assume Missy had hired for the evening. He was shirtless, dressed in a black bow tie and pants, with silver eyeliner accentuating his gaze.

“Come on in,” he said graciously.

Trying not to look too impressed, I thanked him and stepped inside with Alex.

Paul had been replaced by another young guy who collected our phones. A third man materialized behind us to take our jackets and personal items.

Beneath my jacket, I was wearing a glittering silver dress with a ruched skirt and a slashing V neck, which partially exposed the velvet black harness I was wearing underneath. I’d gone for a dramatic cat eye accentuated with silver liner. Heavy fake gems hung from my lobes. I’d twisted my hair and pinned it to the back of my head, the remaining locks tumbling in loose reddish curls about my shoulders. I was determined to put out nothing but my best for this unusual battlefield I found myself returning to.

Once we were past Missy’s checkpoint, I took the opportunity to look around.

I had gotten used to the elegant setup Missy ran for her book clubs, but her birthday bash was a different animal entirely. The whole space was cast in darkness, illuminated only by strategically placed lights. A warm spotlight illuminated some impressive new set pieces Missy had acquired, like the padded St. Andrew’s cross and a pair of iron cages. Standing on those cages were two naked performers in high heels, their bodies decorated in swirls of metallic paint that glittered and flashed as they danced to the upbeat tempo of Missy’s playlist. Along the edges of the room, where the shadows grew the deepest, twinkling string lights had been placed, along with a tray generously supplied with toys for the evening. At a glance, I saw a handsome leather flogger and a pair of fuzzy pink handcuffs, but there were many other bits and bobs I was sure would find plenty of use by the evening’s end. Up above, a slowly revolving mirrored disco ball scattered fragments of light across the room, giving the impression that everything in the apartment was in a state of perpetual motion.

Missy’s guests had come dressed to impress in sleek black jackets and shimmering evening gowns. Jewelry far more expensive than what I was wearing glittered on wrists and around throats. Per Missy’s instructions, nearly everyone except the staff wore a mask. It made it harder to tell how many people I recognized, but it seemed to me that there were a significant number of new faces, from fresh-faced college kids to adults who might have been in their mid- to late-thirties. The lack of familiar faces made me wonder if any of the other regulars, like me, had gotten burnt out in the recent months.

“Are you ready?” I asked Alex.

“Yes,” Alex answered, and I was amused to see he looked a little nervous.

We each slipped on our respective masks. He had acquired a silver masquerade mask made elegant with finely detailed scrollwork along its edges that I was willing to bet cost him a pretty penny. For myself, I had a strip of sheer black gauze that I set over my eyes and fastened behind my head. It was something between a mask and a veil, chosen out of practicality: once secured, I could barely feel it.

“There you are. I’d almost forgotten what you look like!”

I turned to see Missy coming over with opened arms. She was unmasked, dressed dramatically in all black with heavily shadowed eyes. A gold chain headpiece was laid over her hair, catching the light as she moved. We hugged and exchanged quick kisses while her eyes slid over to assess Alex.

“This is Alex,” I told Missy.

“Enchanté,” Alex said. He reached for her hand and kissed it with a little bow. “I see that you are every bit as beautiful as I had been led to believe—if not even more so. It is an honor to be able to join you tonight for your birthday celebration.”

“Well, well. I told Mal, any friend of hers is welcome here.” Missy smiled and cut her eyes at Alex in a way that let him know that his flattery was not unwelcome.

“It looks like you’ve invited quite a few new guests,” I couldn’t help but comment. “Where did they all come from?”

Missy glanced at me. “Oh, you know, the usual. Friends of friends.”

“Some of them look like they could still be in college.”

“What are you trying to say?” Missy asked me, a hard edge coming into her voice. “They’re all adults. They can make their own choices.”

Realizing that maybe it did sound like I had come to pick a fight, I raised my hands placatingly. “Yeah, of course. I’m going to go grab a drink.” To Alex, I added, “Have fun. Make good choices.”

“With my Goddess watching? Always.” Alex gave me a little flourish of a bow and then vanished into the crowd.

I knew already that Edward wasn’t going to be there. He had texted me last night that he had some family in town for the weekend and didn’t expect to have any time to himself for another week or so. Liam was also absent, having opted instead to go to a gay nightclub with his new boyfriend. But Kiara and Danielle had assured me that they would most definitely be around, so leaving Alex and Missy to get on, I set out to find her.

“Mallory,” a voice from behind me said, interrupting my path from the front door to the back rooms. I stopped and turned slowly.

Like a vision conjured from a dream, Thomas stood behind me, recognizable even with the black masquerade mask he was wearing. I was never prepared for how good he looked. He was wearing a tailored black jacket and white collared shirt that fit the line of his shoulders beautifully. Just beneath the fabric of his shirt, I could see the shadow of the harness he was wearing. I felt a mingling of frustrated desire and inexpressible tenderness come over me, though I told myself that I still hadn’t forgiven him. It took me a moment to notice that he was holding something out in his cupped hand.

“I think this is yours,” Thomas said.

I automatically reached out and opened my hand. He dropped something into it, his fingers lightly brushing my palm. I found myself looking down at the gemstone earring I’d worn for the night. The backing must have fallen off, maybe when I had been putting on my mask. I hadn’t even noticed.

“Thank you,” I said. I paused. “How are you doing?”

“Good,” he said, his tone colorless. “And you?”

“Good.” I bit my lip, aware of how superficial our conversation was. It felt like it had been another lifetime ago that we had stood outside my office, arguing about Missy. For better or worse, whatever friendship we had between us was gone. There was no getting past the barriers we’d both thrown up. “I guess I’ll see you around.”

“Yeah. See you.”

I turned away from Thomas, slipping the earring back on. I glanced back at Missy and realized with a jolt that her eyes were locked on us. She gave me a razor thin smile that raised the hairs on the back of my arms.

It was a relief to find Kiara, Danielle and James in the back, lounging by a second setup of food and drink in the master bedroom area. Kiara gave me a quick hug and a kiss as she drew me down to sit beside her.

“God, Mal! It’s good to see you. I feel like it’s been ages.” She pouted at me. “Have you been avoiding us?”

“It really hasn’t been that long,” I said with a laugh. “Less than a month.”

“Yeah, but we used to see you every week,” James pointed out, and I didn’t have a good response for that.

“Our Mal has moved on to greener pastures,” drawled Danielle. “We should be grateful she’s deigned to give us a visit.”

“If you ever want to come, you just have to say the word,” I said a little guiltily. “I’ve just been trying something new, that’s all.”

“Well, it’s probably good you’re back, even for just a little bit,” said James. “Missy’s been having a hard time finding people who have the experience, much less the interest, to dom.”

I raised my eyebrows as the pieces fell into place. That must have been the reason why Missy continued to include me on the invites. After all, she had invested a fair amount of time coaching me into being the kind of domme that she preferred.

We chatted a little, but James’s attention was eventually diverted by the hired dancers up on the cages. They moved effortlessly to the music, swaying and gyrating their arms and their hips. They were really very good, and I was happy to just sit back and relax and try not to think about how little fun I was having.

At some point, a cute guy came over to me and, kneeling at my feet, let me know that he was interested in my attentions. I considered him and his open, eager face, but somehow I couldn’t muster the passion just then. Gently, I urged him to move on. Maybe later.

“I’m going to use the bathroom and get a drink,” I announced, getting to my feet. “Anyone want anything?”

James had a girl standing right up against his spread legs. She swayed against him, her hands traveling up his biceps.

“No, I’m good,” he said, his eyes staying on the girl’s face. “You go ahead.”

Kiara and Danielle echoed James, so I nodded and pushed off to go find the bathroom. The master bedroom’s bathroom was shut, so I turned to go check out the other by the door.

As I passed into the next room, I heard my name and slowed down. Missy and Thomas were leaning up against the wall, just inside the open doorway. Missy had her back toward me, her full attention focused on her beau. The voice of reason in my head told me to keep moving on, that this was none of my business, but my feet slowed with a mind of their own.

“Who would you rather be with?” Missy asked him, a hard, accusatory note marring the playful, flirtatious tone she was going for. “Deseanna or me?”

“You, obviously,” Thomas answered.

“What about me and Chloe?”

“Missy, I would still choose you.”

“What about Mallory? Sweet, innocent little Mallory. Although maybe not so innocent anymore. Fat girls aren’t my type, personally, but I know you’ve found her attractive.”

“Please don’t talk about Mallory like that.”

“That’s not an answer,” Missy said with a short laugh. “Come on, Thomas. It’s a perfectly simple question. Or are you saying you’d pick her?”

Thomas’s eyes flicked upwards, and I froze as our eyes met. He knew I was there. “You know she doesn’t mean anything to me. Not the way you do.”

I felt my cheeks burn. I moved away quickly, relieved beyond belief to find that the half-bath was available. I flung myself inside and locked the door.

I closed the toilet seat and sat down on it. Alone, I gave a bitter laugh aloud. I really was a piece of work. There was no shortage of things outside to amuse myself with, and here I was, still vulnerable to a guy who would never be mine. If I didn’t put some real legwork into this, I was going to wind up being pretty pathetic. Sharon had shown me there was more to this world than the drama that unfolded in Missy’s penthouse apartment. I just needed to reach out and grab all that it had to offer.

I gazed at my reflection in the mirror. My face looked pale but resolute beneath my gauze mask. I’d go out and have the time of my fucking life. One last spectacular revel to take in all the sights and relish everything Missy’s event had to offer. And then I’d walk out the door and never come back again.