Double Double - Part 1

Going to university was stressful for everyone. I’d seen enough movies and such to understand that. They, however, were free of a worry that was rather important to me: the curse I carried.

You see, at the age of fifteen, I’d been a dumb young teen hanging out with the other guys. At some point we’d started building up dares, and I’d been dared to sneak into the home of the strange old Russian woman in the neighbourhood (that everyone said was a witch), and to steal something from her garden. It had been going quite well until, suddenly it hadn’t been.

The old woman had burst out of her back door, shouting and cursing at me in what I assumed was Russian. What I hadn’t realised at the time, though, was that her cursing was actually magical. It was only when I’d gotten back to the rest of the guys, my heart racing, that I found out what had happened. The other guys had asked who I was, and been flustered about a ‘girl’ talking to them, and I’d looked down to discover I’d grown boobs in the last ten minutes.

Getting home, my parents had been baffled by my claim I was their son, the concept of magic pretty foreign to normal people. Trying to convince them who I was had been stressful… until I’d ended up sneezing and had switched back to how I’d looked that afternoon.

From that evening onward, every time I sneezed I switched sexes. Which was… complicated for my teenage social life. My parents had decided to homeschool me after an awkward incident where I’d sneezed in the gym change room. Considering the bullying I’d been getting I’d been happy to be taken out of class myself.

Unfortunately, an actual university education meant I needed to go to a proper school again. My parents had decided to invest extra in my housing, though. I had an apartment just off campus, and a wardrobe of androgynous clothing at the ready. I also had years of experience in hiding my changes through ‘subtle’ tricks of poor posture and pretending to have lost my voice.

What I also had, though, was years of built up curiosity about embracing both genders. Afterall, I felt I had access to both the options and wanted to embrace the positives of my condition. My parents, and everyone else in the family, had considered me their poor cursed son/nephew/etc and so had never really given me any opportunities to explore femininity.

So, with the freedom of university, it was something I was excited to try to break into, now that I was free of my parents’ supervision.

It took a few days to build up my courage to do anything bold, however. So I had simply gone to my classes in whichever form I happened to be in, wearing baggy clothing as per usual. I found seats in the lecture halls, generally towards the back and I was mostly too shy to get close to anyone. Even in the smaller classes, I still kept to myself and hoped no one would connect the shy east Asian guy who was sometimes in their class with the shy east Asian girl who was also sometimes in their class, but never at the same time.

By the next Monday (the first actual Monday, since Labour Day hadn’t had any classes) I had built up more confidence. I hadn’t sneezed at school a single time after nearly a full week. So I felt confident enough to pull out the dress I’d ordered online, and then stood in front of the mirror trying to make sure I actually looked like a girl for nearly twenty minutes. Which maybe wasn’t the most rational move, since the curse did transform me completely, but…

I’d never embraced it before, ok?

This was deeply alien to me. On some level it felt perverse and dirty… no matter how much I reminded myself I’d not asked for it. I was just accepting what the world had given me. Womanhood had been thrust upon me… assigned to me at random, really.

How was that any different from the average girl?

”Come on, Danny. You can do this,” I said, the reminder of what my voice sounded like actually serving to help somewhat.

With another nod, I grabbed my backpack, stuffed a pair of pants and a shirt in there just in case, and set off.

Walking through the busy city streets, I braced for… well, I wasn’t quite sure what. The world ending, maybe?

Instead, people just passed me by, only getting the occasional second glance from guys. Looks that made my heart race. And not (fully) from fear.

Which wasn’t new. Guys noticing me had done that to me before, but my parents had always intervened to ‘protect me’. Lots of talk about how they’d raised me properly to respect women, even before the whole curse thing, but that other guys hadn’t been raised that way. So I was supposed to avoid men whenever I was in girl mode (and be cautious about them in guy mode, in case I ended up sneezing).

Apparently it had never crossed my parent’s mind that I might be interested in guys…

Emphasis on the ‘might’ though. Even as I arrived in my class that day, ready for my course on early modern history, I wasn’t actually certain either way.

After all, girls were… girls.

It was so hard to figure out how to pick one or the other.

The start of the actual lesson caused those thoughts, and thoughts about my own gender presentation, to slip out of my mind. I had notes to take. The professor moved quickly, summarising the basic concepts of Europe in the Renaissance. There were plenty of names I vaguely recognised, but enough I was unfamiliar with that I covered multiple sheets of lined paper with notes.

It was something of a relief when the professor finally announced the lesson was done. I spent a moment taking a couple of breaths to relax, then packed my things. The large lecture hall took a few minutes to empty out, so I was in no rush. Even taking my time I still ended up having to wait in line for the door, a few seconds between each step I climbed.

”You’ve got ‘Chinese Imperial History’ after this too, right?” a smooth male voice asked.

It took me a moment to realise the question had been directed at me, having not been expecting conversation. I also hadn’t recognised the voice, but turned all the same, ready to make some emergency smalltalk with a classmate.

Only to have my heart skip a beat when I saw just how handsome the guy behind me was. I wouldn’t have been surprised if he was paying for his tuition by being a model… those midnight brown eyes, amazing cheekbones, the refined jaw, perfect skin, skin a lighter brown than his eyes but still firmly ‘brown’… he felt like the definition of ‘tall, dark, and handsome. After all, I was eye level to him while standing a step above, and I was a decent height (which didn’t change in either form).

”I… uh… yes. Yeah,” I said, trying to play my reaction naturally.

”The lines moved,” someone else called from behind him, and I turned to see a clear path most of the way up to the exit.

Letting out an eep of ‘sorry’ I scrambled up the steps towards the exit, pausing once I was in the hall for him to catch up with me.

”Heh, sorry about that,” I mumbled, trying not to die of embarrassment.

My first time properly interacting with a guy as a girl and here I was being an utter disaster. And I’d thought I’d been bad with girls before getting cursed…

“No worries. It’s a Monday morning. I’m sure we’re all a little out of it,” he replied. “Especially after a two hour history lecture… I mean, I like history, but Mr. McCorment’s voice… hard to stay awake.”

”Pfft. I know,” I replied, trying to play it natural.

All while worrying I would act too much like a guy. Though, some dudes like girls who were ‘like one of the guys’ right? As long as I didn’t sneeze, maybe tomboyishness would be charming.

Maybe I needed to giggle? Or play with my hair?

”So, the name’s Akhtar. You?” he asked, clearly not noticing my internal panic.

”Danny. Danny Lam,” I replied.

Akhtar gave a nod, before starting to lead the way towards the next class. We weren’t in any major hurry, having about thirty minutes to get there, so it was plenty of time for us to talk. And for me to put my foot in my mouth, if I wasn’t careful.

”So, I figure it’s a safe bet you’re also a history major?” he asked as we walked.

All I managed at first was a nod. “Y—yes. I’m hoping to focus on comparing Chinese and European cultural development during the whole ‘Great Divergence’ era… like, once we’re actually doing proper research.”

”Sounds cool,” he replied, wearing an almost infuriatingly charming smile.

I wonder if that was the masculinity in me, wanting to compete with him.

“Do you have any sort of a focus you’re hoping to work on?” I asked, trying to keep my mind off of the confusing ideas of gender and sexuality that gave me a headache some days.

I’d promised myself I would get better at going with the flow. I had to start trying to put that promise into practice. Overthinking every little thing was so… high school.

”Kind of just seeing what catches my eye. I’ll admit to not having the most knowledge about e—world history,” Akhtar replied. “The stories my dad told me growing up always interested me, but he wasn’t an academic or anything.”

”Fair enough. I spent too much time on digipedia as a kid… being homeschooled meant I didn’t get out much, so had to make my own entertainment,” I muttered.

”You were homeschooled?”

“I—yeah. Uh… not because my parents were weird Christian cult types or anything like that,” I said, perhaps a bit too quickly due to past responses people had given. “They were just… well, there were reasons.”

“I can imagine,” Akhtar replied with a nod.

And nothing else. Which felt kind of mysterious. Still, I was being mysterious too, so I decided to go for the light guess.

”Homeschooled too?” I asked.

”Something like that,” he replied. “Lots of field trips, I can say that much.”

”Ooh. That sounds nice. We went to museums fairly often,” I said. “The dinosaur fossils were neat.”

Akhtar gave a slow nod at that, his expression unreadable. Having no idea how to interpret that either, but I had to admit his mysterious responses just made him more fascinating.

It did result in a slight lull in our conversation as we made the rest of the way to the next lecture hall. It was still pretty empty, with about fifteen minutes to go, and we were able to find a nice spot to sit. Discussing which row to pick was also good for breaking the awkward silence we’d stumbled into, and I decided to try talking about the campus and the professors instead of anything personal. That definitely went better.

-

Sadly, Akhtar and I had different classes for our afternoon schedules, so we had to part for the day after our second class. Still, he remained on my mind for the rest of the day. It was the first time I’d had a proper conversation with a guy who was interested in me… and I had no idea what to do with that.

It wasn’t like I could stop myself from ever sneezing again. On my walk home at the end of the day I began to wonder just what in the world I’d been thinking. He’d find out about my condition eventually… and he’d find out which form was the real me the moment he met my parents. And then he’d probably be horrified and disgusted and I’d be left alone and sad.

Why had I gone and done that to myself? A one night stand at a bar would have been one thing, but flirting with a guy and possibly leading him to expect an actual relationship?

As soon as I got home I changed into a t-shirt and sweatpants, then grabbed a feather-duster to tickle my nose. I sneezed a moment later and… realised my heart was still racing when I thought about him.

I really was useless, wasn’t I?

Grabbing my textbooks, I decided I’d try to forget about the mistake and focus on my assigned reading.

It was semi successful.

-

The next day I attended class as a guy. I only had one class with Akhtar on Tuesdays, and it was another lecture. The room was a bit smaller, maybe sixy people instead of the one to two hundred of the other classes we shared, but large enough I could avoid anything more than a few brief and awkward exchanges of eye contacts. Moments that felt like an eternity as my brain became terrified he’d recognise me.

Thankfully he didn’t seem to. Or… if he did he didn’t act on it?

Well, at most he probably thought I was my own brother or something. It wasn’t like Russian sex-swapping curses were a common occurrence. It was unlikely any normal person would even think of that without good reason.

As I thought that to myself I also realised I didn’t technically know it was a Russian curse. Just because the old woman was Russian didn’t mean she hadn’t studied abroad to learn new spells.

If I ever met a pleasant to deal with magic user I’d have to ask them about that.

Of course, that was not a productive train of thought to go down in the middle of my Canadian history class. In the end I lost several minutes of note taking. Which was a shame because we were still on the pre-European portion.

Thankfully we seemed to stick pretty close to the textbook, so I would just have to go back to look that over later.

-

I didn’t know why the Ancient History lecture was scheduled from 7pm to 9:30pm, but it was. It meant my Tuesdays and Thursdays were brutally long, and that it was dark when I was heading home. Which meant I’d promised myself I’d be male on that walk, even if I had to bring a feather duster and a packet of pepper to make sure of it.

Despite being a guy, however, I still felt nervous. I’d learned to have too much of a feminine view of the world for my own good (and had an eternal fear I might randomly sneeze while passing a dark alleyway).

As such, I nearly jumped out of my skin when I heard a crashing noise from inside a dumpster I was walking past. Stopping to get my breath back under control, telling myself it was just some trash shifting inside, I then let out a genuine (and not very manly) scream when a figure burst out of the dumpster, a rodent of some sort in their hands.

“Haha! Caught you!” she announced (assuming the figure’s voice was indicative of gender and pronouns), holding the squirming creature up above her head.

It was a bit too dark to tell if it was a rat or squirrel or… something else. I was also only half paying attention to the creature, because the woman’s eyes were shimmering in the faint glow of the streetlights. Almost like a cat’s eyes in the dark.

”Oh… uh…” she said, apparently noticing she had a witness. “I—I wasn’t going to eat it, if that’s what you’re thinking. Just… I’ve just got predatory instincts. They’re—your monkey brain works differently.”

”You’re a… cat girl?” I asked, as I noticed her pointy ears, not at the top of her head but still definitely feline, as well as a tail swishing behind her.

”Well, technically I have about as much in common with an owl as I do with a cat, but… sure,” she replied, tossing the rodent to one side before clambering out of the dumpster.

”Ok. Cat-owl girl. Sure… why are you hanging out in a dumpster?”

“I wasn’t. I just chased the—I’m scouting out the city as I try to study earthlings. You’re fascinating,” she replied, pulling herself to her full height.

Which had to be about 10cm shorter than me.

”And you’re not an earthling?” I asked.

”Oh. No. I’m from Biloo,” she said, dusting herself off.

”Ah… which is information you’re just casually giving out?” I said, not certain I believed she was really an alien.

They probably sold reflective contacts, right? Then the ears and tail… those were probably easy for a cosplayer to manage. Especially with it being kind of dark, thanks to the nearest streetlight having burnt out.

I was fairly certain that, apart from her tail and ears, she didn’t have any more hair than a normal human. Well, at least on her face. Obviously I couldn’t see what I couldn’t see.

”Of course. I haven’t given you any proof this conversation happened, so if you tell anyone, you’ll just be dismissed as another UFO sighting,” she replied, nodding confidently to herself. “Er… well, that I need to start making friends here if I’m going to be studying your world.”

I supposed she was telling the truth that no one would believe me. I wasn’t sure I’d believe me, come tomorrow morning.

Whether anything else she said was true I still couldn’t say.

”May I ask what your long-term goal is, regarding studying the Earth?” I asked.

It seemed reasonably prudent to try to see if she was planning world domination or not, assuming I was actually taking her at her word about the whole ‘alien’ thing.

”Scientific curiosity. And… a personal connection. My mother was posted here when she was young,” she replied.

”Your mother?” I said, having honestly not expected parents to come up.

”Yes, she—may we discuss this somewhere else? This is not a very private location,” she said, suddenly reminding me that we were simply standing on the street.

A quiet residential street at close to 10pm, but a public street all the same.

”Um, sure? My… my place isn’t too far? Just another block or two?” I offered, not sure it wasn’t a mistake.

If she wasn’t actually an alien the whole thing was almost certainly some sort of prank or con. Meanwhile, if she was an alien then… then I didn’t know what that meant. I’d never exactly met an alien before. I wasn’t sure any human had.

”Your place sounds good,” she replied with a nod.

Not being able to think of a good alternative at that point, I led the way. It was only a short walk, leading to a large house that had been chopped up into small apartments. My own unit had an exterior door up a metallic external stairwell (that I worried would become treacherous when winter finally rolled around).

The alien woman followed me quietly up the steps, where I paused a moment to fish out my keys. Then stopped, my hand a few centimetres from the door as a thought struck me.

”You know… I do feel a bit odd letting someone into my apartment without knowing their name,” I said.

”Chaoril,” she replied. “My name is Chaoril.”