HeartTheft Chapters 22-23

Sorry for the removed comment, didn’t finish typing and accidentally posted (Spoilers for this novel and other RL books) I’ve only just read the final chapters today and just want to say thank you for continuing to share your writing with us, and I hope that you continue to do so for as long as you are able to. HeartTheft has been one hell of a journey, and I can safely say that I enjoyed every minute of it. The book, like all of your previous novels, tackles some very difficult and dark subjects, and as with every book in the Red Lantern series, breaks my heart to pieces. But if there’s a message I’ve gotten from all of your books, it’s that there’s always hope. From the first chapter that we met Malachi, he was depicted to me as a foil to Isidor. Both had a forbidden love, but whereas Isidor has so far been able to reclaim it, Malachi’s was forcibly taken from him and the subsequent punishment has worn down/claimed what little hope Malachi had. Cillian too, was a foil of sorts to Isi. Both had frail upbringings with their birth parents not being a part of their childhood - however Isi’s parents tried whereas Cillian’s didn’t. Cillian had Darcy and Mandrake instead, and Isi had Nicholas/Mabel and Father Helstrom. Cillian was “closer” to God than Isi purely by birth, but he scorned his faith while Isi revered it. Both fell in love with Darcy (and books lol), but whereas Isidor’s love came out of a deep-growing respect and willingness to break free of societal expectations, Cillian was unwilling to and his love was borne from ill fruit simply due to the circumstances that they were in, which in itself is just tragic. Malachi, as broken as he was (from losing Eli, to losing his faith, from the death of Cillian, and from Isi’s betrayal) was still able to protect Isidor from Dolus in one of his final acts. Even though Malachi truly believed he was saving Isidor in his own way, I choose to think that the fact that he did not turn Isi in showed that he still had hope in Isi’s vision, despite how everything ended. A man with absolutely no hope or love left would have done things differently, I feel. I am sad to have lost both Malachi and Cillian, but like others have stated, this isn’t the first time this has happened in your books, and it honestly is amazing to me how much you get me to care so much to all of your characters, no matter if they live or die, if they were a protagonist or antagonist (yes, I even felt for the main villain in Kindred and OTBP), major or minor character, you find a way to make me feel for them. As much as I wish for a happy ending for everyone in your books and for them to not experience any hardship ever again, that’s just not realistic. Your immense care and delicate handling of the difficult topics you explore is reflected in your writing, and the realism of the fact that sometimes, the worst thing can and will happen. Sometimes, death is pointless, but what comes of it and everything that led up to it never is. The Off the Beaten Path series (my personal favorite of yours), exemplifies this the most out of your stories in my opinion (with a very, very close second to Heretic and the Legacy books) and HeartTheft is no exception. I cannot wait for the sequel - to learn how Isi and Darcy will fare, the mystery of the Heart of Faith, and the true machinations behind the church. The Red Lantern series has quickly become one of my favorite series of books I have ever read. It is no exaggeration to say that I will always be completely and utterly emotionally invested in all of your works. So thank you again Rukis for sharing this world with us and I hope you continue to do so for many more novels to come.

helioleo

****SPOILERS IN COMMENTS... RUN AWAY NOW********** Rukis, I realize this is a darker book than most, but I agree with many people here: Don't give up. This is still VERY well-written, and, as some said, hinted that Malachai was a very broken individual. I really don't see how there would have been much of a plausible redemption arc for him, given what he's already been doing to himself and what transpired in his past. I feel that one way or another, he was not going to make it out of the story alive. I don't think it'll ruin Isi. He'll have some guilt, but I think he was always going to have some guilt regarding Malachai. As for Cillian, well, it's not the first time someone innocent died in one of your books. It hurts, but it doesn't hurt anymore than Lochan or Grant or Lucius. I go into your books looking for realism, and I definitely get that death is going to be a part of it. I'm not sure if the whole "Malachai was torturing him and killed him accidentally" fits 100%, but I think I could see Cillain taunting him, and it was well established they did not like each other at all. Not sure anything should be changed, unless you maybe wanted to add in that maybe Cillian fought back hard against Malachai. But that's my only tiny quibble in an otherwise captivating and stellar novel. Flawed characters will be a part of it. I don't see Isi as irredeemable for what he did. He was in a tough spot, he's young, and was trying to save someone he loved. He was already warring with himself a bit, but I don't think he did in Malachai. Malachai did in Malachai. If anyone is to be blamed, the church definitely deserves it. I get this may be too dark a read for some, especially those who have suffered at the hands of religion or churches. But at the same time, it's refreshing to see it. It's not candy-coated, but it's not over-the-top gory. Please don't give up! I still think this is very successful and most of the comments seem to think so. One thing in chapter 22: when they arrive at the church, they do go from being on horses to suddenly tiptoeing towards the church without mention of them dismounting. Very small detail, and considering what a maelstrom was coming down the line, I get it. I do hope you continue to write and don't scrap this story or completely revise it. I always get very lost in your books, even when they're a tad painful (I really can't reread the last couple of chapters of Legacy unless I am prepared to bawl. That one got me the hardest of all your books).

KiskaBeaust

I was hoping Malachi could be saved, but I think a part of him died with Eli, and the rest was destroyed in the camps. Even if he and Isis did form a relationship - how soon would the guilt and self loathing break out.. Even worse it would be directed at Isis. Dolus would never have allowed any praise either - pushing Malachi to try harder and harder on an impossible quest for acceptance. This way Malachi atleast had closure.. not becoming an even more hardend and bitter tool of the Church. He rebelled and refused to be controlled again by them.

Marcwolf

Even Cillian is flawed in how he deceived Darcy's affections.

Marcwolf

Rukis, I was the 4th comment and I regret how I worded it. I was in a dark frame of mind and my emotions were shot to hell. It takes a phenomenal writer to do that to me as I have to be heavily invested in the story and the characters and not many authors can achieve that in me. Please don't give up. This has been an emotional time for all of us and especially you as the author as they are your creations. I'm so sorry if my comment caused any distress. Despite how the comment was worded, it was from a place of despair and I was not thinking straight. I'd read the rest ifvthis novel immediately if it was published. You have not written one single chapter of any of your books that I haven't been completely captivated by. I don't know you, but I love you for the years and years of written and drawn works you have gifted to us.

ArcticSpirit

The only conceivable failure of these chapters, and I say this with utmost affection, is the "Rukis ship have epiphany-inducingly good sex without ensuing disaster challenge (impossible)"

Dire

FWIW, I think Malachi's choice can already be interpreted as a stark consummation of the Church's abuses - it aimed to strip him of his agency and identity, and to beat into him that he could only provide value through unquestioning pursuit of the Church's goals. Malachi refused to relinquish his agency, but the tragedy is that his form of rebellion still fundamentally accepted the authority and framing of internalized guilt from his abusers - he devoted himself utterly to hardening against trauma and getting so good at his work (i.e. violence) so that he could endure the spite of God and His chosen, and therefore believed he would not be consumed without being able to help those he cared about. Malachi was never past saving (his actions in these chapters are a spectacular break with Dolus) but the value he still placed on the church's methods - violence and self-sacrifice - even while pursuing his own aims were bound to be destructive no matter what. It's not hard to imagine that his final decision was just as much a reflection of his principles as it was an act of despair - a means of depriving the church of a tool to harm Isidor. As grim as it sounds, that would even be accurate in some sense - one less inquisitor, one less contact, and more secrets bound to the grave. One of my favorite books, The Traitor Baru Cormorant, opens with this: "A Promise: This is the truth. You will know because it hurts." Hurt feels real. Hurt feels true. When you are immersed in it, it can become all too easy to weave it into everything, for it to seem impossible for anything real to exist without it. Everything can seem like it requires a sacrifice, and in a perverse form of optimism, one may come to believe the greater the sacrifice the greater the good. Challenging that can be hard, especially alone. The Monster Baru Cormorant, the sequel to Traitor, opens with: "A Question: If something hurts, does that make it true?" After the camps and before Isidor, Malachi likely never had anyone that would have told him "no." Even though Isidor and Malachi both tend towards excessive self-reliance and self-sacrifice, Malachi never had people like Father Helstrom or Darcy to curb those impulses - instead he had years of emotional compartmentalization and enough skill and determination to overcome everything in his path; nothing disproved him and his abusers in the Church never cared to I think his arc elegeantly describes the perversity and futility of coercive systems, too. The Church molded an effective hunter who could keep secrets under incredible pressure, and although he spent years working in their name and believed in their strength and authority (even if not their righteousness) to the end, he ended up sabotaging their efforts. The only guarantee of suffering is that it begets more suffering.

Dire

I agree with both of these posts. RE: Rukis's comment, I don't think the book has failed at all, I felt this as a very poignant moment. IMO, while tragic, the development and characterization leading up to what happens in ch23 was natural and well-alluded to. It was also very vivid, I pictured it happening in a film or anime, as it reminds me of other iconic works of fiction with tragic character deaths that are polarizing. To me this is comparable to the ending of legacy (which may or may not be more tragic in certain ways); you may say Legacy had a more positive message or meaning in its ending, but this is not the end of this story. Even after this I do still see hope for Darcy and or Isidor. I think, certainly, there will be extraordinary trauma and healing that they will need to sift through, but it feels very raw, in a good way. I imagine it would be challenging to write, but with the potential to be very powerful. I never sensed that the story was being 'dark for the sake of being dark,' so to speak. And this is coming from someone who really liked Malachi and in initial chapters probably would have shipped them in an AU :p

Viruleince

You make a good point. What's more, even if Malachi could have been saved (in an alternate timeline where different choices had been made), the painful reality that these stories touch on is that not everyone is able to be. Some people become so deeply, truly broken that no matter what external intervention is taken, the have internalized the hurt so deeply that not only do they no longer see the light, they do not even understand what it would look like anymore. And the most terrifying part of watching it happen is the guilt, retracing every word, every thought, every interaction and cursing what one could have done differently to change the outcome. The skill of walking lost souls like Malachi back into the light is truly an actual, practiced skill, not just a talent; something Isidor is most assuredly going to have to come to terms with. I won't deny that a great part of me also hoped for a redemption arc for Malachi, but from his self-scourging to his final acts, the depths of his damage are painfully apparent; the mid 19th century style world this universe is based on is not equipped or conducive to what he would need at that point to be saved. His final act, his crisis of conscience, came across to me as the final vestiges of his true self not wanting to follow through because, deep down, he wanted nothing more than to spare Isidor the suffering he endured and so deeply feared would be as inevitable for Isidor as it was for him. As I read this, Malachi entered the fight fully determined to die in it, taking otherwise fatal wounds as deserved punishment for his existence and what he was indoctrinated to believe were his own failures. He became a monster he was indoctrinated into believing he was, and a part of him seemed to know it. And just a PSA for everyone: can talk to many of these skilled, caring people in the US by dialing 988 if you find yourself or someone you know losing their way so much that this seems like the only way out. This is knowledge that can't be stressed enough, because in the end, far more can be saved if they get the right help at the right time. No one bats 1000, so it may still not be enough, but seriously, to all who read this: Don't forget how that loss made you feel and use this knowledge and empathy to help the others you still can help save.

Glassan

You're certainly right on those counts, and especially for a situation like this, it's brutally hard in the moment to see the way forward through the trauma. But even though their lives ended here, their story and influence is still not over. The value of their lives, the influences they've had will have deep, lasting impacts on all the characters, who now need to choose what lessons to take forward from these tragedies, and in the end, I think that is the most important part. Isidor failed in ways he could not have possibly foretold at the time, and those lessons will follow him through the rest of his stories. As for Darcy, they too have suffered one of the deepest hurts they could feel, and that is going to be a most complicated process for them because, knowing Isidor and the kind of person he is, they will be forced to contend with what became of Malachi as a man and as a monster. I can see no better motivation for them to step further in to expose the conspiracies against them that have hurt so many so closely. I would only hope to at least finish the story and see the aftermath; these sort of tragedies are BRUTALLY real, and I think the greatest disservice to the loss of these characters you have connected with so deeply (as I doubt you would need consoling otherwise) would be to leave the conclusion of their stories untold.

Glassan

Hello, I don't usually comment, but it felt important to me to do so after reading your edit. Incomplete though it still is, Heart Theft is in very strong contention for my favorite of your works (Off the Beaten Path is the current reigning champion). I've been looking forward to any sort of kickstarter for a hard copy; it would be the first of your novels that I would actually own physically. (spoilers below) I think the narrative through-line that has lead Malachi to this specific point is quite clear, and I'd been expecting something similar for some time. Malachi is repeatedly characterized specifically by his faith and merciless zeal. The kinds of things he's done in service to the church have been referred to abstractly and shown 'on screen', as has his (relative) lack of remorse. For him to suddenly be willing to break here would require redoing substantial portions of his character throughout the text. I'm not necessarily convinced that the events that happen need to change. With that being said, I think there are ways of making his specific end less crushing if that's the goal while remaining true to his existing characterization. A substantial part of what makes it as much of a downer as it is is the fact that Malachi seems, at the last second, to actually break with his faith before ending his own life as a result. It presents the idea that he can on some level WANT to change and yet still be 'past saving', which is of course going to be quite troubling to many people. I think it's equally possible that Isidor choosing to invoke Eli could harden or anger him. Malachi might choose, at that last second, to shoot for Isidor; he completes the cycle and symbolically repeats the atrocity that was inflicted on him, becoming in full the instrument that the church has made him to be. He declines the final chance at redemption offered to him to instead cling to his existing faith, because the alternative is unthinkable. And then of course the shot misses because he's been hit by the second holdout pistol Darcy was fumbling from out of their boot or something like that. Anyway, I hope you're able to bounce back from this disappointment. I deeply look forward to following this story to its end.

BeastNeverSeen

Agree, honestly. I think it would have been dishonest to Malachi's characterization so far for him to have suddenly been willing to give up (his version of) his faith.

BeastNeverSeen

I'm not so sure that isidor could have done any different. If he were older and wiser, sure, but he's barely an adult here, he's learning from his mistakes in real time in the worst possible way. Malachi isn't beyond saving, but he's someone who has likely done things for the church that he'll never forget. Even before what transpired, I'd bet there's a lot he'd have to square with himself, outside of the lens of mortal religion. Possible, but not here, with feelings this tangled, with someone as young as Isidor.

CaptainEveryday

Rukis - To me, your work keenly explores how wounded people struggle with their unqiue brands of hurt - burying it, lashing out, seeking salvation through oblivion, faith, approval, action, investment in others. These stories are so powerful precisely because when their exquisitely realized characters meet, it's not always possible for them to reconcile their respective pain, and never all at once. Breaking the cycle of suffering is never clean, and that unpredictable friction between sympathetic, burdened people makes them feel all the more real - whether the tension be as subtle as a moment of fear during intimacy or as violent as a physical confrontation. Nothing is pre-ordained. That's a promise of pain, but it's the core of hope. It's a promise of tragedy and also joy, and everything in-between. Writing that unflinchingly explores the breadth of those experiences drives that truth home, and to me at least feels like a far more profound expression of hope and fundamental optimism than narratives that shy away from despair. This novel feels no different. Trust your vision, and please never stop.

Dire

Okay I’m very torn on how to feel about these two chapters. I hope I can emphasize my opinion properly on what bothers me about them. First off I want to say: please don’t give up on writing. I saw the edit you made while trying to write this comment. Personally I love every single book and story you’ve written in the Red Lantern universe, and I hope to see many more in the future. This feels like a big bump right now, but I really, really hope all the feedback helps in a positive way going forward. However, honestly, compared to all the other really well-written and amazing stories you’ve created in the past, these two chapters felt a bit like a disappointment. They were captivating the whole way through, but it feels like they felt short in delivering the message they were meant to, and instead was almost a bit… rushed? As a reader I got the impression that even you, the writer, were uncomfortable and just wanted it over with quickly. The storytelling felt rather weak in how it describes Malachi’s mental break and motivations for what he did. I don’t think the story is completely doomed like some of the other comments do. While I don’t know where the story were intended to go after this, I think I can kind of maybe see how there’s ways to use the events in these chapters going forward, depending on how many more chapters after these ones there will be. But this part doesn’t feel like it fits in well at all with the story that have been building up to this. Again, please don’t give up. I’m sure you’ll find a way to fix this, and even if this story does, which I hope not, end up a flop, I think we all who read your books agree we want them to continue. The difficult subjects and grim atmosphere have often been the main driving points in your stories, and you’ve always succeeded in giving a clear depiction of them. it’s personally one of the best series I have read throughout my life, so thank you.

CookieFloof

I've been really enjoying seeing these characters come to life and for me the flawed nature of them, the mistakes, the doubts just make them even more believable and relatable. I've been growing more invested with this novel the longer you've been writing it. You dove into some really dark subject matter and I think you did a really good job of handling it. People aren't perfect. There's a tendency to place people in buckets that are "good" and "bad" (that has been worsened by short-form social media like Twitter, and growing political polarization) and while some people definitively fall in one bucket or the other, I think a vast majority are too complex to be neatly categorized as one or the other. Yes, it is uncomfortable to read about someone so similar to me experiencing these failures - but a lot of people like me never found a family. They never found comfort or support to help them process their internal struggles. And I think it's an important reminder that we don't all make it. That as we move forward and celebrate our triumphs and victories as a queer community, that we don't forget those who didn't make it to celebrate with us today. Those who succumbed to a hostile society who didn't understand their beauty. Good art comforts the disturbed, and disturbs the comfortable. I think you succeeded on that measure.

Randall

I appreciate all the warnings you've been putting on these two chapters (and like the idea of putting a page like that in the novel itself) and how you've showed the damage that is born from extreme trauma. People can have their own opinions, of course, but I disagree with the two comments above. Your works and the world you've created have always gone into to serious subject matter which needs to be explored, which makes me love them, and it's not as if Cillian and Malachi are the first innocents to die within it. Malachi was extremely damaged from what happened to him and while getting people to break free from that is always the preferred goal, not everyone does sadly. Isidor tried his best to get through to him. You showed how dangerous conversion therapy can be for people, along with how it can cause them to harm others as well as themselves, and that's a topic that seriously needs to be discussed. Cillian was an innocent victim of that rage. Not every story is going to have a happy conclusion, but if we try and change the world for the better then hopefully there can be more of them. I for one am loving the story, along with all the themes/ideas you're exploring within it, and look forward to continuing it.

ProwlingPaws

Nothing can console me now. Cillian was a great man in his way and died for nothing leaving Darcy with further trauma and no closure. Malachi was a tragedy. A beautiful soul twisted by malicious ideology and now that beautiful soul is extinguished. I cannot see a way forward with this novel now. I don't know if I can enjoy it again. Too much damage has been done. I cannot see how Darcy can continue with Isidor therefor can Darcy even continue living? Isidor did a terrible, terrible thing to Malachi and this will haunt him forever. ***** PLEASE SEE MY NEW COMMENT FURTHER DOWN. THIS COMMENT WAS WRITTEN IN A DISTRAUGHT FRAME OF MIND AND IS NOT HOW I FEEL UPON REFLECTION *****

ArcticSpirit

Tom Noyb

Gosh, powerful couple of chapters there!

Alexander Richards

good lord... last time i crunched down 2 chapters of anything without so much as lifting my eyes more than once from the text was a proper while ago.

Arek _ SovJetAirlines