Steve Notes RAW 5/17/21

Steve Notes RAW 5/17/21

Bobby Lashley with like 7 hunnies opens raw.

Boner killer Adnan Virk talks, then MVP introduces Lashley, who comes out with Orlando’s finest.

MVP says I told you I had a surprise. MVP says its my honor to stand here with the almighty, the glitz and the glamour, what Lashley did was herculean, he beat two of the toughest competitors on the roster- today Braun is nursing broken ribs, Drew couldn’t get out of bed this morning, while the Almighty had the temerity to get thrown through an LED screen and came back to win, he did all that while injured. Champ, when does the AE end?

Lashley: Never.

MVP: THis was supposed to be a night of celebration, however, at Lashley’s insistence, I am issuing an open challenge to anyone who wants to step up- Drew’s music hits.

Drew says I can’t think of a better way to impress your ladies than Drew vs. Lashley for the title tonight. I accept.

MVP says whoa, being crass as you are, you interrupted, what I was gonna say was, the open challenge is for anyone BUT Braun Strowman or YOU. Back of the line. Lashley swings, misses. Drew sends them, Lashley wants back in, MVP stops him. Solid open.

AJ Styles vs. Elias

I can’t tell which act I care less about, Miz or ELias/Ryker. They both exist in the same “what a waste of space” territory for me. At least Miz has Morrison.

This is fine enough, its just a bummer to see AJ slum it with Elias.

After like a 15 minute match, Ryker attacks AJ on the outside and and gets ELias DQ’d, Omos goes after Ryker, leaving Elias to attack AJ on the outside. Zero heat with even the piped in crowd noise.

*3/4

Quick Alexa Lilly tease

Riddle backstage he says he sent the ND some pigeon mail, they want to see his two headed snake, Orton shows up, gets pissed cuz Riddle told him that Pearce wanted to speak, Riddle brought them together to make the peace, and offered up an apology from Orton. Orton said not gonna happen. Kofi says even if you did, we wouldn’t accept. He says if you don’t wake up, you’re gonna end up with an RKO before you know it. Orton talks shit, Kofi challenges him just like its 2009. Orton says you’re on. Riddle looks like he’s trying to get Orton to corpse.

Alexa’s playground with Tamina and Nattie

SHe says congrats, Lilly wants to know what their fav color is, Nattie says Pink, Tamina says black and blue, which would look good on Alexa if she tries anything weird. Alexa gets offended, Lilly asks about Reginald, Tamina says she’ll swat him again like a fly if he gets involved in their match tonight. Then they walk off as Alexa talks about Lilly collecting bugs.

Angel Garza vs. Drew Gulak

Garza brings the intensity here, this was SLIGHTLY longer than last time, Garza wins with wing clipper.

*½

After the match, Garza takes the rose, he STUFFS THE ROSE IN Garza’s mouth. Next week, we find a NEW HOLE for Garza to stuff that Rose in.

Truth interview, he’s talking about the open challenge, Tozawa rolls Truth up to get the 24/7 title

Another Eva Marie photo shoot

This felt like the other one, I honestly don’t know if this is the same or not? Oh, it’s the same one.

Randy Orton vs Kofi Kingston

Xavier distracts with his trombone, (what was the song he was playing?) and Kofi rolls up Randy. After the match, Riddle takes issue with how Kofi won, argues with the New Day, he shoves Xavier in the heat of the moment and walks off with Randy

**

Backstage, Lana/Naomi and Mandy/Dana are all making their cases as to why they should have the next tag title shot, Sonya says that spot will be decided upon once tonight’s match is over. Charlotte comes in, says she deserves a title shot after she wasnt pinned last night. Sonya says you gotta prove it by beating Asuka tonight. Rhea comes in, says she wants NEW competition, cuz Charlotte is OLD NEWS.

Naomi/Lana vs. Shayna/Nia

Alexa comes out, and when Reginald tries to distract, pyro goes off in his face, Shayna gets distracted and Nattie/Tamina hit their finish on her for 3

*½

Ricochet Interview: He stole Sheamus’ hat and jacket again, and pulls off a decent Irish accent

Sheamus vs. Ricochet

Ricochet is able to dodge Sheamus to start, but eventually Sheamus overpowers Ricochet

This is a helluva match, Sheamus is killing Rico, who comes back but gets hit with a back breaker

Sheamus goes up, Rico goes up and hits a spanish fly from the top on Sheamus

Rico hits a SSP for 2, Moonsault, he eats knees and gets pinned by sheamus for 2, Sheamus misses a brogue kick, gets hung up, Rico hits a neckbreaker, goes up top, but Sheamus gets out of the ring, Ricochet goes from the top and hits Sheamus, goes back up, 450 for 2 DAMN IT

Rico comes off the ropes, eats a Brogue kick on the way down, holy shit, Rico kicked out, OUCH Brogue Kick destroys Ricochet for 3

***¾

Sheamus puts on his hat and coat, gets on the mic, calls out Bobby Lashley, says he might accept the open challenge

T-Bar and Mace, they threaten to answer the open challenge, they flip a coin while saying some very heavy words.

Asuka vs. Charlotte

They come out FAST, Char gets the first big shot with a judas effect, but Asuka comes back strong with a hip attack on the apron

Char gets the upper hand for a sec, Rhea’s music hits, she strolls out

Lots of back and forth, with Charlotte obviously being distracted by Rhea

Char locks Asuka in her thighs

Asuka comes back, hits a german, hip attack, bulldog, sliding knee strike for 2

Char comes back with a big boot

Char goes for spanish fly, asuka holds on to counter, hits dropkick for 2

Asuka gets a knee bar, Char gets out, Asuka gets a triangle, Char gets her in a cloverleaf, Asuka gets out, screen goes black a few times, must be nipple-city

Char finds herself on the outside, jawing with Rhea, Asuka comes in for a backhand, Char ducks it, sends her back to the ring, Char gets in, Rhea gets on the apron, Char boots her, Asuka rolls her up, Char rolls thru for a F8, Asuka counters with a pin for 3

***¾

Morrison interview backstage, he’s oblivious to the zombie lumberjacks, and pays homage to Miz as if he’s dead

Priest vs. Morrison Lumberjack match with real lumberjacks

Nikki Cross is a lumberjack!!

Priest falls outside, T-Bar and Mace attack

Priest flips to the outside later on to take out Mace and T_Bar, Cedric runs through and attacks Shelton

Superplex to the outside takes out the lumberjacks

Priest hits a rana from the top, then HTL for 3, killer match #3

***¾

Priest interview, says Miz and Morrison are in the past, maybe next he’ll accept the open challenge

Lashley is in ROman’s suite!!

Another Eva Marie promo, this time she’s talking about being in movies or some shit

Shelton Benjamin interview, in a different part of Thunderdome

He says hes not gonna waste time on Cedric, he wants to talk about challenging Lashley for the title tonight, Cedric interrupts, he gives him a hand for stepping up to Bobby. Just because he has a fluke win over Ced he can challenge Lashley? Theres a reason everyone abaondons him, he’s worthless. Shelton slaps the living shit out of Ced.

Bobby Open Challenge

New Day comes out, Kofi answers the open challenge

Before the bell rings, MVP stops, says we never said anything about a championship match! Kofi, you’re not even worthy of being in the ring with Bobby, Kofi attacks before the bell, bell rings, Bobby BOMBS KOFI with an urunagi

Kofi gets a brief upper hand with Xavier distracting again, but as the ref starts to throw Xavier Woods out, MVP goes to hit Kofi in the head with his cane, Drew takes it, hits Bobby in the gut and Kofi gets the pin on Bobby

**1/2