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Besties Battle Bracket: Best Food

Okay, we've been doing these brackets long enough. It's time for something serious. Something substantial. Something indisputable. Yes, it's time for us to decide the best food in a video game.

Though we couldn't prepare the food for you to taste, we did round up images of every dish. You'll find them, along with our Round 1 showdowns, below!

Rubric:

Round 1:

Besties Battle Bracket: Best Food Besties Battle Bracket: Best Food

Comments

Sydnee might be one of the sweetest humans in the world, oh my god. The fact she dug the lego pieces out of the trash in an act to refuse to let Justin's fumble destroy his accomplishment warms my heart more than I describe. Messed up piece or not

VioLynnce

Like so many others, I was drawn here (weeks late, I know, I'm sure no one will see this) by the total misunderstanding of meat-stuffed pumpkin. The main thing that other commenters didn't address is that Griffin seems to believe that a pumpkin has to be massive... but Zelda is a Japanese video game, so the default model for the pumpkin would be kabocha, which is just a medium-sized gourd.

CC

Should have had “most satisfying sound effect when consumed” as part of the rubric.

Andrew Kurz

“Let me guess, someone stole your sweet roll?” Great episode!

David Timmons

you all deserve to eat banana peels for the rest of your lives not you Chris plante you get the chef’s choice and you can eat as much as you want

Hila SketchCat Shats

Of all of the tomfoolery in these brackets, this is what came closest to breaking me. Chris, bless your heart, you are really the voice of the people.

Charlie Dalton

thank you thank you

Trevor David Black

Is the bread-baking terrible? I thought all of those simulations looked really convincing. If I saw it in a movie, would I clock that as cgi? I’m not sure. Maybe. Maybe not. … But my dad did smack my head into a flower pot when I was less than a year old.

Nat J

This comment rules

Chris

My finger hovered over the unsubscribe button constantly during this episode and the voice of Chris Plante is the only reason I’m still part of this.

Nathanael May

How is the sandwich from Resident Evil 2 remake not on here?

Daltraxx

All I'm gonna say is: thank fucking God for Christopher Thomas Plante

Matthew R

Commenting on the eggs are cgi question. I work as a graphics programmer in the industry. You can make an egg and make it look realistic. We've been able to do that for a while. Bad looking: diffuse and specular (phong shading 1975) good enough: subsurface scattering (at least before 200) Realism: Volumetrics (homogeneity mid 2000s) MAX Realism: volumetrics (heterogeneity ~2010) But if you crack that egg and try to cook it, all bets are off. We are still bad at actually simulating how cooking is done. If you can imagine, cooking is just practical chemistry, which we're not good at simulating in a computer (if we could simulate chem in a computer we wouldn't have kids do lab work in high school) See this siggraph video for an example of how terrible we are at simulating cooking. It's bread baking and looks quite bad: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iBpolaB4DqA So, I can't speak to Kojima's truth about eating the eggs, but cgi could not actually bake eggs in 2004 (can't really now, either)

Trevor David Black

JUSTICE FOR SPICY EEL!! I feel like if you’re coastal enough and have enough exposure to good sushi from a young age, sushi can easily become an alternative to pasta or chicken nuggets as the preferred “safe food” for picky eaters and ND people. It’s so hard for me to imagine a world in which anyone wouldn’t want fresh and delicious sushi at any given moment. Happy to recommend good sushi places if you ever decide to give it another chance, Juice!

Noah

Shout out to the food in Spiritfarer! So many bangers

Melissa O'Neil

Another horrific implementation and interpretation of the rubric boys, great stuff keep it up :)👍. Also shout out to the sandwich in scarlet/violet.

Walker Weber

Actually, I retract my statement. I got to the part with FFXV food and I'm mortally insulted that the cup noodles were picked as the representative food. It's pretty yummy looking but there's FFXV foods that make me hungry enough to consider eating my GPU that also have some pretty insane stats too.

Sunny Liu

I've always thought Wall Meat was similar to Jamon Iberico, a dry aged, if expensive, Spanish ham.

Eddie Fraley

Great episode! I love video game food, there's something about those delicious glistening polygons... Unrelated, but would you guys ever consider briefly reviewing infinity Nikki? It's sort of out of the left field as far as triple A mobile gachas go but as a long time fan of the franchise I'm curious what you guys think of it.

Sunny Liu

I do find picking Farfetch over Slowpoke Tails blasphemous

Scott D. Forsyth

Hey guys, not video game related but I’d love to hear you weigh in: I think if you shot Superman directly in the butthole with a powerful gun, the bullet would bounce up his whole digestive tract and blep out his mouth and he’d say “gross”. True?

Goositrous

A big unsaid part about the portal cake is that it was a cake baked by robots who have never eaten cake before so how would they know what good cake tastes like??

Mateo Paradis

Russ - ignore those guys don't pitch that pickle juice. Stuff two chicken breasts in the jar over night and fry up a banging sandwich. (Last Friday's episode)

Keagan Galvin

Listening to this after the MBMBAM Live Cleveland episode where they talk about Griffin's terrible food decisions adds a lot of important context. Although I am grateful he brought up the big beef bowl to counter the idea that the meal had to be finished in one sitting because I was thinking that the whole discussion. Respect to Plante overall for being the needed audience surrogate.

Matt Seljan

Is Crunchy Chick a Monty Python’s Crunchy Frog reference?

Ian Grossberg

I am surprised Justin did not use Le-Glue for his NES LEGO set. I am pretty sure he has mentioned watching Shark Tank before. https://www.sharktankblog.com/business/le-glue/

Paul

i vow to force them to eat their novelty soup bowls at every renn fest

Chris

you know, I had the same thought. We might need to start a boycott until they reinstate Meat- Stuffed Pumpkin to its rightful place. or, yeah, maybe some of the superior BOTW options. #JusticeForMSP

Nat J

This is sweet roll erasure

Sean Mackin

DEEPLY wrong 😂 thank you Plante for being the voice of the people

Emily

Chris Plante, please send me your venmo I no longer feel comfortable supporting the rest of the Besties financially I lost my damn mind in the car this morning hearing them say you HAD to eat the pumpkin (why even pick it in the first place BotW has so many amazing options) and HAD to finish the Chef's Choice Special smh my head

Noah Wood

https://images.app.goo.gl/TNdz365eZKAe7ihg9 https://images.app.goo.gl/ti6UQDiHektQRrc98

Nat J

That’s not supercres; his short life’s a mess….

Nat J

I believe it’s a carryover. Get the bubbles, Chester.

Nat J

My exact thought! Plante coming in bewildered like I can’t believe this had me dying. He kept saying he was speaking for the audience and yeah he really felt like the audience surrogate. This was a great episode, I laughed a lot, but there’s something deeply wrong with these choices 😂😂

Anna

This is the most bonkers interpretation of a rubric so far. How did so many people fill in the blank of "obviously an abusive parent is standing there saying 'if you don't finish every crumb on your plate I'll make you wish you had?'" If you finish your soup but not the bread bowl you don't get thrown in Panera jail, what is going on?

Nigad Osman

I live for wall chicken.

Matthew Vinkler

Buddy, as a fellow vegetarian, you are correct. I think it honestly should have taken second place.

Nat J

Damn episode made me want to try making damn banana peel bacon and now my damn brain can't think of any damn thing else.

Jody Anthony

It’s literally insane 🤣

Alex Groves

Also, stuffed pumpkin is one of the greatest meals in the world, Griffin is insane

Alex Groves

How did Plante become the voice of reason throughout this episode?! The only one who understands how food works 😂

Alex Groves

How did they get so desperately confused about whether a banana peel or a meat-stuffed pumpkin is tastier? That's an actual delicious meal! That's a real thing you can order and eat! You obviously don't eat the rind, but you can eat some of the cooked pumpkin flesh inside, and it's also delicious. Worrying about eating the rind and the stem is like worrying about eating the box and the tray and the straw in the cluckin huge meal. They thought the Rainy Day Special Mega Beef Bowl looked appetizing, but there was no hand-wringing about how to choke down the ceramic bowl. Such a mis-step. How did three such handsome boys go so, so wrong? (Plante is both handsome and correct)

Nat J

...it's a good thing Griffin's adamant defense of eating banana peels is behind a paywall, huh? XD Also, Sydnee is the sweetest! I would not be that patient.

Sierra Powers

You forgot to include the bizarrely photorealistic lemon from Paper Mario!

WarioTush

I’m a this the first time Griffin has acknowledged his vore phase since he went back in the mouth closet?

WarioTush

Great episode! Also, not that it would've won, but special shoutout to the rice balls and other food items featured in Mystical Ninja Starring Goemon (N64) which did single-handedly begin my love affair with Japanese cuisine

Joel Castelli

The food that gave you good points in Fable was tofu! I want to shout out that one pink berry amongst the red berries in Super Mario World. Absolutely tantalizing.

Ccchloister

…i think the meat-stuffed pumpkin looks so tasty and i’m a vegetarian. cannot relate to you guys lmao

grainshilo

WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN YOU THREW THE LEGO SET IN THE TRASH?????

BassToad

Oh my gosh, you are so right and it pains me!

Chris

What the boys failed to consider in the cake tiebreaker: I would MUCH rather eat a cake I made myself that I know exactly what ingredients went into than one prepared by GLaDOS.

Graham Roebuck

I just want to tell Justin that unagi tastes like the best teriyaki chicken you've ever had and it'll change his life.

Phillip Cunliffe

I’d say I agree with the rankings for the most part, but wow what an unhinged list of entries for best video game food! So many foods to choose from and a banana peel made the list!

ThanaThots

I realize that there can only be so many foods on this bracket, but Plante? No Vanillaware foods?? Look up foods from Odin sphere, muramasa the demon blade, or dragon's crown. That's like some of the best food that's ever been in video games

Daniel

I can't believe food from Witcher 3, BG3, and Overcooked weren't on here. (I'm being fake outraged. The episode was fun)

Faith Quist

Props to everyone who wants it but Fave Open World doesn't do anything for me as a category. Best Food? This? This is genius.

Bishibosh44

Possibly my favorite Besties battle bracket episode! I don't know how many Besties played Palworld, but special shout-out to the food in that game, because it looks amazing.

itsmethuy

It probably would've been cheating to add the live action cooking cutscenes from Dragon's Dogma 2, right?

Devin

Ignis would be HORRIFIED that the food they chose was Cup Noodles. I am horrified on his behalf, what the hell guys.

ames

Great job Cooking Dada's!

Johnny Van Cura

Ngl I was a little skeptical about this episode, but it delivered on all fronts!

Ken Clark

have you considered that the cake is a lie?

Michael B.

Suggest any of Dave the Diver Bancho's sushi would destroy that pixelated mess from Stardew Valley

jahr

Wild Absolutely love this Might be my favourite episode ever

Overcooked cucumber

Those pellets from Pac-Man tho...

Garrett Jackson

did Justin set up “raw cheese” as a concept or was that just a carryover of Justin lore from MBMBaM?

supercres

I mean Monster Hunter is objectively the best but it will be fun to hear who wins second.

Zachary Martel

I have never been happier than when I found wall meat.

bjorktribe

Considering Monster Hunter is the only one to be prepared by cat chefs, it’s hard for me to imagine it not going all the way.

Casey Wittner

What a fun, unexpected choice of topic. Gotta love the food menus in the Like a Dragon games, makes me almost as real-life hungry as watching Delicious in Dungeon

16-Xray

We’re ALL here to masticate, king. 👑

Louis Lavoie


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