"Do you know how hard it is to dye JUST your hair, when you're fuzzy all over like this? I also do my pubes, just for...y'know, consistency. I have a reputation to maintain, I am the Purple-Haired Stalker, after all.
By the way, I'm stalking you right now. Just to get that out of the way, just to help manage expectations. Consider yourself stalked. What happens next is partly up to you..."