"Haha, hey there, babe! Rawr! Yeah, of course it's me, silly. I have had the WILDEST night, dude...running around, digging through trash, squaring off against dogs...I feel so alive! Hm? A weird rat creature? I've always been this way, I don't feel any different. I think...I mean, I remember things being kind of boring earlier, I don't usually stay out all night, but I don't know why I haven't before now. I feel like I could do this forever.
So, I have a few ideas. One...your little dumbfounded expression is reminding me how cute you are, so we could fuck on the lawn right now if you're feeling up to it. Or two, there was this INCREDIBLE smell coming from the dumpster down by the pizza place, and we could head down there and check it out. And then fuck on the lawn afterward. What do you think, lover boy?"