Before anything, I want to thank Mutti for doing this for me. It's a beautiful piece, with a lot of weight to it, and they surpassed my expectations with it.
I've been going over things, holding Luna's memory close, gathering every scrap I can to still hold her. Finding all the old art and getting it all together.
There were... so many things we wanted to do, that she wanted, that just... One of those things was the last time Mutti had a couples sale, she wanted art of us. We never got around to it, so with the opportunity there, it was first on my list. Because she wanted it... she would have loved it.
She also always wanted to be in my work. Heck, she heard about Luna in the Moxie's offshoots and she was so excited, only for me to disappoint her. So, that's another thing I'm working on. I'm making her a character in the Menagerie, so that I can still have a little bit of her with me. And because it would have made her happy. (Luna from MM will now be Tsuki, whenever I get around to starting the OG Matty story.)
I'm going to continue our story, the fake little roleplay life we had, the family, in proper pieces. A part of me feels... hollow, selfish, stupid for doing so. Like I'm taking her, stealing her... But just like in this piece, I don't want to let her go, let what we had go.
I can't deny that I loved her, for all she was, all she wasn't... there were times I would have literally sold my soul just to stop her from being sad. I know she'd have done the same... If she could see me now, she wouldn't stop pestering just to make sure I was okay.
There's always going to be a hole where she was. It hurts me, and I know it hurts others too. I wish I could fill it, keep her going vicariously through me. I don't think I can make a community smile and engage like she could though, so the best I can do is hold her memory close, and try and let everyone else see what she meant to me.