001 - Death to All Birds!

Preface: So I was bored today, and decided to try something new. Unlike all my other series, I haven't really dabbled in first person story telling so I would like your input on this matter. I'd like to know if my character's thought comes of as too jarring and I should roll it back a little. I also wanted to write about a non-human character for once. Come out of my comfort zone, if you will. It's also LitRPG, something that many people like, yet I've also never dabbled in it, except for Dustbound, but that was barely LitRPG. So, give it a chance and let me know what you think. I don't know if I'll make this a series, but if people like it, I just might. For now, I just wanted something fresh. Enjoy!

Today was supposed to be a usual day. I was meant to go outside, travel through unknown lands, and seek undiscovered riches. That was my job, the reason I was born, yet fate had a trick up its sleeve to make the day slightly more exciting as if it needed to be.

I like dullness. In fact, I thrive in it. But noooo, Big Mom had to make me a scout. A scout. Me? You couldn’t have picked a worse person for this job. I like the comfort of my home. Why would I want to go outside? There’s just so much danger out there, and I’d like to keep my life for a little longer, thank you very much!

There are these things called birds out there. Birds, I tell you. These things are the worst. They look at you from their perch, high up in the trees. For your information, trees are these mysterious towers that start large, then get smaller, only to explode at the top. What kind of thing is that? Who knows? I can’t even see the top of those things.

They’re made of something called wood. What is wood? How am I supposed to know? Somebody must have named them. The only thing I know is they can’t be eaten. Believe me, I’ve tried. Part of my job, you know. I saw some creatures eat the stuff, so I thought, “Might as well try!” Nope, much too hard, even for me.

Back to birds. Those things like to look down on you. They have this look in their eyes. You know, the one, like they could just gobble you up. Gives me the shivers every time I come across one. They're so haughty, with their colourful plumage, long wingspan, and majestic demeanour...

As I said, they like looking down on everything that has to crawl on the ground. Not my fault I was born without wings. But hey, at least I'm not all black like my siblings. My body is this gorgeous tint of orange... but the rest is mostly black. Not sure it makes it easier to hide in the foliage, but that's about it.

Anyway, those damn birds! I get into a rant every time I think about them. They think they're so special, eyeing my home all day, waiting for just one of us to go out and snap us with their beaks, gobbling us whole. They're literal menace. If I had one wish, I'd wish every bird would go extinct!

There was no escaping it. I had to go outside, or Big Mom would throw a tantrum. She has these guards that stick by her side all day. How I wish I could become one of them. Just standing there, doing nothing but watching her pump out those kids. That'd be the life!

But those guys are rough. Don't do your job, and they will come to remedy the problem. "Off with their heads!" they said. Who said that? I don't know... Someone, probably. How am I supposed to know? Until that day, I didn't even know what words were, much less how to think. People here only know how to follow orders. Even Big Mom isn’t exempt. Just a cog in the machine.

So, I went outside, and what did I see? A bird... A stupid bird. Fortunately, it hadn't seen me. It was too busy looking in the distance, looking all... birdy. So I crawled through the fallen leaves, heading somewhere... away from home. There wasn't really any reason why I chose to go this way. I just felt like it. Maybe if I'd chosen another way, things might have ended differently...

After what seemed like an eternity, I was finally out of that damn bird's sight. I could finally speed along the ground, going what... a couple meters per hour? It might not seem much, but that's considered pretty good for us.

My job that day was to find food, but not any food. Do you know what Big Mom said? Okay, she can't really talk, but we have ways to communicate—but that's beside the point. She said she wanted meat. Meat! How does she expect me to find meat on my own? I'm not like one of those soldier ones that can kill a lizard dead. The most I can do is spit a little acid, which barely chews through a single leaf, much less a lizard's hide.

And even if I were to find something, what can I do? I can probably report back home, but what's to say it'll still be there when reinforcement arrives? That quest was doomed from the start, but I had no way to avoid it. It was either find something, or search until I did. Fortunately, the forest floor was filled with things to eat. At least I wouldn't starve.

I wandered aimlessly for quite a long time and found nothing that met Her Majesty's requirements. I was about to lose my mind, thinking of what to do, but when I was panicking, something happened in the sky. If I'd bothered to look, I might have seen something extraordinary.

Don't ask me how I know, but this flame appeared in the sky. It created a long plume of smoke that trailed for kilometres. At its head was a spherical object burning as it rammed into the atmosphere.

It was incandescent, even deforming as the pressure of its fall slammed into its surface. It must have been a brilliant sight, but all I felt was a shock wave propagating everywhere. Trees almost broke under the strain of this shock wave. Fortunately, I was digging through the ground then and avoided the worst of it.

When I raised my head, that's when I saw it—this object falling toward the ground. It was just an instant, yet it was seared into my mind. It was blinding, I mean. That damn light almost made me blind. Thankfully, my eyes were never that good to begin with, so it didn't change much.

That thing was headed straight toward me, but no matter how I tried to dodge it, it seemed to follow my steps. Besides, can you expect me to dodge a shooting star? So, I just closed my eyes and prayed. To whom, you might ask? Who knows? There are gods everywhere on this damn plane, so I just picked one at random.

I didn't know its name or anything, but it seemed to work because a thick branch blocked its path. It still broke when they collided, and the branch cracked and fell. At least it didn't fall on my head, but only barely. When peace and quiet returned, I opened my eyes, only to see a weird shape rolling toward me, and it didn't stop until it crushed me into the ground.

Fortunately, the ground was soft, and my body was quite durable. I could deal with it as long as it wasn't too heavy. This object was at least ten times my size, but I'm pretty strong, even for a mere scout.

So here I was, stuck in the dirt, reflecting on what my life had become when I felt a strange heat travel through my body. At first, I thought it was merely because this object had burned off in the atmosphere, but it wasn't a searing type of heat. It was just a warmth that spread throughout.

Until then, my thoughts were quite muddled. All I had in mind was a survival instinct belonging to my species and a weird urge to do Big Mom's bidding, but that's when it spoke to me.

Location Unknown. Coordinates too remote to access main frame. Switching to Independent Core Processing Unit.

You may ask me what this all means, but even to this day, I still have no clue. All I knew was that something was happening, and I wanted no part of it. I couldn't push it off me, so I tried to dig around it, but this orb had pushed me deeper than I first thought. I wasn't really equipped to dig through so much dirt all on my own. It's usually a team effort by the worker ones. However, this thing wasn’t done.

Independent Core Processing Unit damaged during the crash. Switching to auxiliary backup. Suitable specimen found. Beginning system integration with local fauna.

Now that's even weirder. What did it mean "local fauna?" More to the point, why can I hear this voice in my head?

It spoke with words I had never heard before, yet I could comprehend the meaning. Still, my first instinct was to get away from it.

So I dug and dug, but the progress was slow. No matter how much soil I moved, this round object would crush me more and more. It felt like the world's weight was on my back, and I couldn't get rid of it.

Public Service Announcement: Please do not turn off your consciousness to prevent interference with the integration process. Thank you.

What does it mean, "Don't turn off your consciousness?" Is it that easy to turn off? I may not be that smart, but—

ARGHHH!!!

I felt a searing pain spread throughout my body. It was as if I had been tossed into boiling water, only to be pushed back down each time I tried to rise. My brain began to rattle and I felt my thoughts all jumbled up, unable to think straight.

This lasted for quite a long time, with me unable to even rise above the soil and the spherical object that compressed my body downwards. I felt like drowning, but fortunately, my body could draw breath from more than just my mouth, and that was enough for me not to suffocate.

When the pain finally receded and I came to, every part of my body hurt, even parts I didn't even know I had. It took a while for me to get my bearings and finally rise from this tomb of dirt. Once I was finally free, the strange voice echoed again.

System install successful. Adjusting parameters. Initiating evolutionary protocol.

Evolution? What’s that supposed to mean? I am perfectly fine as I am... Uh? Why do I even know what evolution means? Has something changed?

Replying to User: Evolutionary protocol is a sub-protocol of the System meant to aid the User in reaching adequate parameters necessary for the System's safe return to the homeworld.

Now, that’s a load of nonsense. Can’t you make it clearer?

Affirmative. The System is meant to return home, and you, the User, must make it happen.

And what’s the catch? There’s always a catch.

If the User is deemed inadequate, the System will sever the link and seek another user.

Sever the link? What’s that supposed to mean?

Termination.

I shuddered, thinking of what this meant to me. I could just feel the hardships I would have to endure in this endeavour, but I didn't have much choice. I quite liked my life to remain intact.

Why me?

Convenience. The System merely chose the nearest available User.

That's just my luck. When I saw that stupid bird, I knew this was going to be a bad day. Say, what do I get out of this? Didn't you say the evolutionary protocol would aid the User?

Affirmative. Opening current status to User.

[Name—Unknown]

What did you expect? We don’t even use words. What use would we have for a name?

[Species—Acid-Spitter Ant]

Is that what I am? Cool name, at least.

[Age—102 Planetary Rotations]

Damn? Already? Time sure does fly.

[Level—1/100]

It goes to a hundred? Are you trying to kill me?

[Strength—6]

Is that good or bad? I can’t tell.

[Vitality—7]

I shouldn't die quickly with that, right? RIGHT?

[Dexterity—2]

Hey! That’s unfair. I have mandibles and many legs. That should count for something.

[Intelligence—3]

Are you calling me stupid?! I resent this accusation!

[Charisma—1]

I’m a goddamn ant! Give me a break... Is there anything else, or are you going to throw some more at me?

More functions may be unlocked through System usage. However, User's current status is far from enough. Please be diligent in levelling up.

And how do I do that, pray tell? Do I have to go around killing everything that moves? Surely, it couldn't be that simple?

While I said all that in the spur of the amount, the System’s response left me completely stunned.

Affirmative. Vitality is required for the System to repair itself. Vitality can be stolen from others, or User can offer his own. However, the System would recommend against that option. The System has no desire to have to find another user so soon.

At least we agree on something. Surely this should be all, right? I feel like my head's about to explode.

Only the main quest remains. To ensure the User is motivated to repair the System and allow it to return home, the System offers a gift to User through quests. Quests will be provided depending on the circumstances, but the Main Quest is left to the User's discretion. The User will be granted specific boons meant to aid him in realizing this quest.

Wow, really? Can it really be anything I want? Even something that has nothing to do with aiding you return home?

Affirmative.

In that case, that’s easy. There’s one thing I want more than anything. At first, I thought this was a scam made to pull an honest ant into indentured servitude, but if you offer to help me with my wish, I'll play along with your little game.

What is User's wish?

DEATH TO ALL BIRDS!

Acknowledged.