Giving Notice - Chapter Five (preview #2!)

Made some more progress! Let me know what you think! Back to my normal day-job today (blargh), but I hope to finish out this chapter this week. I hope you guys enjoy it so far!

-----

CHAPTER FIVE

Stephen got Max settled on the enormous leather couch that lined his living room and then took their damp towels into the bathroom. When he reappeared, he poured two glasses of whiskey at his bar before making his way to the couch. “Here,” he said, passing Max a glass as he seated himself. “Just don’t tell anyone I gave alcohol to a nineteen-year-old. Again, haha. I'm a bad influence, I guess.” Stephen smiled gently. “Now, what’s going on?”

Max sniffed at the glass. He’d had a few beers before, and the mojito at Garden Grille, but he’d never tasted whiskey. He noted that Stephen’s glass was half full, while his own only had a small amount of the amber liquid. He watched Stephen smoothly throw back his own glass and empty it in one go. Max tried to do the same but began coughing as soon as he’d swallowed the sharp-tasting liquid. It burned like nothing he’d ever experienced before.

Stephen laughed sympathetically as Max caught his breath. “Don’t be embarrassed, it does that to everyone the first time.” He patted Max’s back while the golden retriever recovered himself. “Give that a minute to work its magic and it’ll help settle your nerves.”

“Thank you,” a bashful Max replied. “I’m okay, I promise. I’m just… weird. I dunno.” He shrugged, struggling to explain his strange anxiety to Stephen. The wolf sat patiently, rubbing small circles on Max’s back with his paw while Max collected his thoughts. After a few moments of silence, Max spoke again.

“It’s just this weird nervous thing, it’s been happening a lot lately. I don’t know why, I don’t really have anything to be nervous about.” Max stared at his knees as he spoke. “I just keep thinking, I dunno, something bad is going to happen. But I don’t know why I keep thinking that. That’s weird, right?”

Stephen sighed and settled in, tugging Max close. “It’s not weird, pup. Your life has changed so much, so quickly. It’s understandable that you would be experiencing some feelings over it. Make no mistake, everyone here went through much the same thing early on. It’s… a lot to go through.” Stephen smiled warmly and kissed the top of Max’s head. “You went through life feeling out of place, like you didn’t belong anywhere, and then suddenly you’re swept up into this strange new life where everyone loves and respects you and doesn’t make you feel ashamed of who you are. So you’re waiting for something to happen to take it all away again, to push you back into your old life, because you can’t possibly deserve all the good things that have happened, right? You spent so long thinking you were weird for liking the things you like that you internalize all of those negative feelings about yourself. So then when things change, your inner voice starts screaming that it has to all go away again.”

Max turned and looked up at Stephen and was surprised to see tears in the wolf’s eyes. “You felt like this too?” Max asked, surprised.

“We all have,” Stephen said. “It’s hard to accept that there’s anywhere in this world where you can be so completely welcomed and respected, regardless of whatever odd kink you’re into. That’s the magic of StartAgain, but it’s such a strange feeling at first. When I came here, when I met Sam and we fell in love… and then when the cancer took Sam from me… I felt like I would never be happy again. I felt like the joy in my life was all in the past, that there was never going to be anything to truly look forward to again. Part of me wishes you could’ve seen me then, and part of me is just grateful that you never will. I was hollow, empty. StartAgain lost its shine for me.” Stephen breathed a long, slow breath and cleared his throat quietly.

“Don’t get me wrong,” he continued. “I was still grateful for my job here, for all the opportunities that StartAgain gave me. But I don’t think I’ve ever been so lonely as I was after my husband passed. Everyone around me kept going like normal, like somehow the world didn’t completely end with Sam’s death. I couldn’t make sense of it. How could they go on, dressing in their kink gear, having sex with each other, working their jobs, eating together and laughing freely in the dining hall, when Sam was dead? It felt like the world should stop turning and the sun should go black, like Sam was the thing that made the universe happen and without him everything was supposed to just… end.”

Max leaned into Stephen’s embrace even harder. He could feel the deep pain coming from his wolf, and he sensed that Stephen was speaking words he’d held inside for far too long. Max didn’t know what to say or do to comfort him, and so he hoped that listening and being present was enough.

Stephen sniffled, and his voice was raw when he finally spoke again. “A lot of my life turned into just going through the motions because it was what was expected of me. I’d get up, eat breakfast, get dressed, go to work, say hello to the people I passed in the halls. But none of it had meaning. James was the only one who saw past the facade, he knew how deeply I was hurting inside. Bless him. I can’t tell you how many times we’d stay up until dawn while he listened to me pour my drunk heart out over a bottle of vodka. James Warren wants everyone to think he’s a complete badass, but he’s got a tender heart he doesn’t let many people see. He was so patient with me, so gentle. I couldn’t have gotten through all that without him, Max. I mean that. James is the reason I didn’t just lay down and give up on life.”

Max nodded quietly. Mr. Warren had been really good to Max, too, and he could absolutely imagine the hawk making it his mission to take care of Stephen during his darkest days.

“The reason I’m telling you all this,” Stephen said softly, “is because I want you to know that I really do understand the anxiety you’re feeling. It’s too easy for everything that matters to disappear in a puff of smoke. Especially for guys like us, who felt so completely isolated from the world before we came here. StartAgain isn’t really even about letting kinky guys get their kink on in a safe space. It’s about giving a home to weirdos like us who never felt like we had one before.” Stephen took Max’s paws into his own, clasping them tightly. “I want you to understand something, unequivocally. This is your home, for as long as you want it to be. And not because you like wearing diapers and dressing like a baby. This is your home because the people here love you and value you. That fact is carved in stone, immutable, it’s not something that’s going to suddenly vanish, unless you choose for it to. And even if you someday decided that you wanted to leave StartAgain, for whatever reason… I would follow you to the ends of the earth, Max. I’d quit my job, give up everything I have here, and I’d chase you forever, if I had to. I love you, Max. I want to dedicate my life to bringing you all the happiness you deserve.”

To his credit, Max fought against his emotions as hard as he could. However, in spite of his best efforts, his body let forth bubbling, uncontrollable sobs. He turned and threw his arms around Stephen, burying his muzzle in the wolf’s chest as he wept. He could feel Stephen’s breath, hot and ragged on his neck. Max’s body shook harshly as he cried tears of pain and tears of relief. He cried for the joy he felt in his heart, and he cried for the loneliness that he’d been holding in for as long as he could remember.

Stephen cried too, both mourning his lost love and celebrating this newfound one. Together, the two young men let go of years of accumulated pain, sorrow and isolation. The universe quietly shrank around them until Max and Stephen became the only things that existed, and they poured their emotions into the space between them until there was nothing left to feel except love and undisturbed silence.

Eventually their tears subsided and they laid together on the couch, breathing softly in the still quiet of the apartment. Stephen petted Max, cooing quietly and stroking his headfur. Max rested his head on Stephen’s chest, listening to the wolf’s heartbeat gently thumping in his ear. At last, the two fell asleep, locked closely in their embrace.

*****

Some time later, Max awoke. His eyes and throat burned, but he felt much better than he had before. Stephen still snoozed on the couch beneath him. Max carefully extracted himself from Stephen’s arms, not wanting to wake him. Once he was free, Max made his way to the kitchen and glanced at the clock on the microwave. 9:26 PM. The boys had slept for far longer than Max would’ve guessed. For a moment, Max debated sneaking down to the dining hall and bringing back food, but he wasn’t quite ready to reenter the world. Instead, he began exploring Stephen’s kitchen, foraging for ingredients he could turn into a meal. Max was an inexperienced cook, so he settled on a box of macaroni shells and cheese, a package of beef hotdogs, and a frozen box of microwavable broccoli florets.

Max quietly set to work preparing the simple meal, taking the opportunity to familiarize himself with where everything was in Stephen’s kitchen. Periodically he would glance over at the sleeping wolf on the couch, and his heart would warm anew.

Max boiled the hotdogs until they looked done, then he removed them from the water and set them aside. He poured the box of uncooked shells into the still-boiling hotdog water and checked the instructions on the back of the package to see how long he needed to let them cook. Finally, he pulled back one corner of the frozen broccoli and placed it in the microwave, then started it cooking.

Once the pasta was done cooking, he drained it and ran cold water from the sink over it, then mixed in the contents of the cheese sauce pouch. He took a small paring knife from Stephen’s knife block and sliced the cooked hotdogs into thin rounds and mixed them into the cheesy pasta, then did the same with the cooked broccoli florets. He then went through Stephen’s spice rack and shook a few different spices and seasonings over the pasta on a whim, mixing everything together into a cheesy casserole of sorts. Satisfied with his handiwork, Max fished around in Stephen’s cabinets until he’d located where Stephen kept his dishes. He spooned the food into two bowls in equal portions, and placed them in front of the stools at the breakfast bar.

Max looked around in Stephen’s refrigerator for something to drink. There were bottles of water in the door next to a corked bottle of red wine. The top shelf held a half-full gallon of orange juice next to a mostly empty gallon of expired, visibly curdled milk. Max rolled his eyes; he’d have to have a word with Stephen about the state of his refrigerator. Max settled on the juice and filled two glasses.

Once the impromptu meal was ready, Max quietly walked to Stephen’s side and gently nudged the sleeping wolf on the shoulder. “Stephen,” he said softly, “it’s time to wake up.”

In a moment, the handsome wolf was blinking up at Max. “Oh, I fell asleep. What time is it?”

“After 9:30,” Max answered. “I made us something to eat. It’s nothing fancy, but I didn’t feel like going to the dining hall.” He helped Stephen sit up. The wolf’s nose crinkled. “Is that mac and cheese I smell?” he asked, the corners of his mouth turning up.

Max nodded as Stephen rose from the couch. “Mhmm. With hotdogs and broccoli. I used to make this kind of thing on my hotplate in my dorm whenever it was too late at night to go out and get fast food. It’s not fancy but it is filling. I hope it’s okay.”

“It’s perfect,” Stephen replied. “You’re perfect. And I’m starving.”

“Then let’s eat,” Max said happily. He led Stephen to the breakfast bar and got him settled, then hopped up on the stool next to him.

The meal was simple but filling, as Max had said. After their shared emotional purge, neither Max nor Stephen felt much like dealing with the bustle of the dining hall, and both were grateful for the opportunity to stay in Stephen’s apartment.

“So, we’ve really got to stop having these meltdowns with each other,” Max said with a smile. “It’s starting to become our thing. I say, joking. Actually I’m really glad we’re comfortable enough with each other to share our feelings like that,” he added. He took the last bite of his mac and cheese and pushed the empty bowl away, content.

“Me too,” Stephen said. “It’s… good to get it out, you know? Like I told you before, James was the only person I really opened up to after Sam died. And eventually I felt like I was just dumping all my woes on James too much, so I stopped. It probably wasn’t the healthiest way to cope, if I’m honest. But I hate feeling like a burden on the people I care about, you know?”

Max nodded. “I’m kind of the same way. Like, I always feel really weird when people give me presents. I love giving them presents, but I feel funny when people spend their money on me. Or when people make a big fuss over my birthday, or whatever.” Max laughed, embarrassed.

“September eighth, right?” Stephen smirked. “I remember seeing it on your new hire paperwork. I make no promises about not going overboard for your birthday. But I’m allowed, you’re my boyfriend and my baby pup and I’m allowed to spoil you if I want to.” His eyes sparkled with mirth.

“Yes, but what’s good for the goose… Don’t think I won’t make a huge deal over Daddy on his birthday. Speaking of, when is it?” Max raised his eyebrow curiously.

“August twenty-second,” Stephen replied. “We’re only about two and a half weeks apart.”

Max brightened immediately. “Oh, we are totally going to do something super fun to celebrate our birthdays this year! I’m going to have to start planning something special!” The canine wagged excitedly.

Stephen laughed at Max’s excitement. “Well, that’s still months away, so we’ve got time. I’m much more concerned with the immediate future.” He rose from his stool and took their dishes to the sink to rinse out. “Did you want to sleep here tonight? Or would you rather spend it in your nursery?”

“I’d rather spend it with you. We could pile up in bed and watch a movie or something. Preferably ‘or something’,” Max said, almost pleading. “If that’s okay,” he added hesitantly.

“Of course that’s okay. But, is it Big Max or Baby Max that’s asking to sleep over? Because I’m happy with either,” Stephen said warmly.

“Oh, it’s Big Max, for sure,” the golden retriever replied suggestively. “Big Max very badly wants to bury your bone in his muzzle tonight.” Max blushed hard as he spoke; he wasn’t usually this forward and direct, but he wanted no ambiguity over what he wanted from his boyfriend tonight.

Stephen’s brow crept up his face. “Well then. In that case, I’m quite certain I can accommodate.” He dried his paws on a dish towel and then removed two cold bottles of water from the fridge. “Lead the way, Big Max,” he said eagerly.

Max hooked his arm through the crook of Stephen’s elbow and practically dragged him to the bedroom. Once there, Max gently shoved Stephen down on the immense bed, then took the water bottles from him and placed them on the nightstand.

“Don’t go anywhere,” Max told his boyfriend. He ducked around the corner to the bathroom and quickly shed his clothing, but for the collar locked around his neck. He unfastened his swim diaper and balled it up, then placed it in the lined hamper Stephen had added to the bathroom for that purpose. He quickly ran some baby wipes over his groin and dried himself off with his towel.

When Max returned to the bedroom, Stephen was lying in the center of the bed propped up on pillows. He’d kicked his sandals off but was otherwise still dressed in his swim trunks and tank top from earlier. His arms were crossed behind his head, and he made no effort to hide the erection tenting the front of his trunks.

Max began kissing Stephen’s toes, then ran a line of kisses up his feet to his ankles. He crawled up on the end of the bed as he kissed his way up Stephen’s lower legs to his knees. The wolf sighed and closed his eyes as the butterfly kisses reached his sensitive inner thighs.

Max quickly tugged on the waistband of Stephen’s trunks, and Stephen lifted up and slid them down, eyes still closed. His hard shaft caught on the waistband for a moment before freeing itself with a satisfying thump against Stephen’s stomach. Max tugged the trunks down past Stephen’s ankles and tossed them carelessly to the floor beside the bed. He never stopped kissing his way up Stephen’s body even as he undressed the handsome wolf.

At last he came to his destination: Stephen’s impressive, swollen cock. Max kissed the head gently, eliciting a lusty sigh from his squirming boyfriend. Pleased with the reaction, Max kissed it again, and then a third time. Then he licked the end like a lollipop, forcing a loud moan to escape Stephen’s clenched jaw. Stephen’s engorged rod grew even thicker and harder in Max’s paw, and Max had to open his mouth wide to get its girth inside.

Max explored Stephen’s manhood with his tongue and mouth, noting Stephen’s reaction with each new movement and sensation. With his paw, Max tenderly stroked and rubbed Stephen’s heavy ballsack. Oh, he really likes that, Max thought as Stephen grasped and clawed at the comforter.

Max took his time, with no sense of urgency to his movements. He’d had precious few opportunities to truly explore Stephen’s most sensitive areas, and he wanted to make the most of the experience. Stephen’s scent was musky without being sour, and Max inhaled deeply. He situated himself between Stephen’s legs and began tugging on the wolf’s rigid cock while he licked and sucked the head. After several minutes of slow, deliberate treatment, Stephen was practically writhing beneath Max.

Max felt Stephen run his fingers through Max’s headfur and pull him more forcefully toward his cock. Taking that as a demand to go farther, Max slurped his way down Stephen’s length as far as he could. He felt as though his jaw was going to unhinge at any moment. This will take practice, he thought happily as he began sliding his way back up Stephen’s shaft.

Up and down, up and down, Max worked Stephen’s thick meat with his mouth. Stephen’s body radiated heat beneath him, and the wolf was whimpering with every ragged gasp. Max’s jaw was hurting, so he slid Stephen’s erection out of his muzzle and began tugging on it with his paw. He watched in fascination as a bead of precum formed at the tip of the wolf’s cock.

“M-Max… gonna cum…” Stephen warned, his voice quivering. After only a moment’s hesitation, Max slid the head back into his muzzle and began pumping his paw in earnest, as fast as he could. Max had never swallowed semen before, not even his own, and he wanted to share this new experience with Stephen. Max was utterly fascinated as Stephen’s erection grew even firmer in his mouth as Stephen rapidly approached climax. Suddenly, Max could feel hot, somewhat slimy cum begin coating his tongue.

The taste was somewhat salty but not unpleasant, and Max was surprised to discover that, despite smelling exactly like bleach, cum tasted nothing like its scent would imply. The texture was a little gross, uncomfortably reminding Max of phlegm. Still, it was Stephen’s seed, and Max was eager to take it and to show Stephen how much he loved the wolf. Max swallowed quickly, trying to keep up with the impressive load Stephen was releasing into his maw.