To Myself

Chapter 23: To Myself

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In heavens arena. the battle room of the 227th floor is as full by the audience as always.

Though disappointed looks could be noticed all over the audience as they're looking at the stage yet none seem to utter a word of complaint as silence enveloped the whole room.

On the stage, a black-haired young boy could be seen standing there along with a look of boredom on his face though an air of chilliness surrounds him, a chilliness that extended its clutches to the whole room...

"IT SEEMS THAT YASUO WON AGAIN BY WITHDRAWAL COMPLETING TEN VICTORIES IN A ROW GRANTING HIM THE CHANCE TO CHALLENGE A FLOOR MASTER!!!!"

The young boy is me as I paid no further attention to the commentator and turned around leaving.

Its been six months, a fruitful yet disappointing six months, disappointing since all the three last matches I won by withdrawal.

I was really looking forward to more strong test subjects and I was planning on letting off some steam on them but I guess my reputation precedes me...

Anyway considering my last failure which I took to heart, It'll only make sense for me to push myself even more.

And I did just that as the six months ended up being the most painful even compared to the training at home and while the pain didn't faze me at all, I still felt it clearly, in fact, I felt it clearer than ever which is the effect of my extreme concentration for past six months...

I reached my house, closed the door then stood in the room, I brought my right to cover my face as I thought back on the past months.

I asked my father to send me new weighted clothing reaching about 10 tons and pushed my speed much higher than It was at the cost of several continuous sleepless nights, at the cost of rarely ever sleeping for the past months, and that put a heavy burden on my mind...

Even worse, I felt like food which is something I love and enjoy, I felt like it became a waste of time and since I asked my father to send me more lethal doses of poison, I was in constant pain as whenever I get used to it, I increase the lethality.

I spent most of the day in the forest pushing my En further and doing the usual netero exercise in my style.

As I make my hands sharper I used 'Ko' on one of them then strike in front of me, I then use 'Ko' on the other hand and do the same until I fully expend my Aura pool. Then I enter Zetsu and continue until I regenerate my Aura then use 'Ko' again.

These cycles usually continued for days until I come to the brink of passing out, this is the only signal that makes me go back Home and sleep only to wake up in a few hours and repeat the same process, I was quite uncomfortable...

Yet one thing that didn't change across the past months, my expressionless face, for something like a failure to affect me this much, this isn't like me at all, while I was a little bit of a controlling person in my past life it was still nowhere near this...

I guess getting reborn in another had some effect on me, I felt like If I failed at anything then I'll be giving up the chance of living in such a beautiful world.

Failing in such an obscure thing was always a possibility, but what the failure meant to me is what made me this uncomfortable.

It meant that failure is an option to me and this is a mistake, failure shouldn't be an option as a researcher is what I'm, I only have to do more research until the obscure becomes known...

"HAHAHAHA...HAHAHA HAHAHA...Yasuo oh Yasuo, I lost control in the first step back I faced", I laughed at myself until my laugher turned into a sudden calmness.

Calmness as the chilliness and the gloominess surrounding me disappeared leaving a comfortably tranquil air that enveloped me as a serene smile surfaced on my face.

I closed my eyes for a while then I started to calmly talk to myself. "just what happened to my motto from my last life, My happiness comes first before anything else, I only do things I enjoy and like except in special cases but even in such cases I can never ever push myself this far, food is a delicacy I enjoy, pain is something I hate, cleanliness is a commitment I'm comfortable with yet I feel soo dirty, I feel too uncomfortable...."

I close my eyes for a few minutes then I take my weighted clothes off and head to the bathroom.

I take a Hot long comfortable shower and change into comfortable normal clothes with a black coat on top, I then head to a nearby restaurant.

I put my coat to the side then I take a seat as I ordered a few dishes, then I ate slowly making sure to enjoy every bite, I had a drink then went back to my house directly to drift into the land of dreams...

I slept for three days straight only to wake up feeling better than ever, I had my morning coffee slowly enjoying every moment with a smile decorating my face.

I then closed my eyes as I sat down in a meditative position, sometimes you just have to relax, enjoy yourself some more then answers come naturally, it's really not that hard to get what I want...

my determination just wasn't enough, of course, it's not that easy since it's not equivalent exchange if I'm the one in need.

That's why I decided to give up ever being able to use conjuration and transmutation which amount to 140% much higher than the needed 60% in enhancement, but that's still not instrumental enough to me so I just need more.

perhaps it's not about trading something for something else, it's about proving how far I'm willing to go. Nen is an extension of one's will so it's about me.

I'm not that interested in transmutation but conjuration is too useful for me so I thought that'd be enough.

This is a vow that I planned to make anyway though for something else but I guess I have to do it now.

I'm not interested in learning from my mistakes, I want to predict these mistakes and eliminate them so this Vow is necessary.

I need to prove my determination to myself.

A strange atmosphere enveloped the house as I started what I wanted to do.

My Willpower is proven...

My emotion is my desire, and I desire a 100% compatibility in enhancement...

My determination is what I need to prove and the following Vow shall prove it shaping my future with it, 'I Vow...'

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-Yasuo's 10 years old

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