TRANSMISSION CONTEST — Make Me Laugh, Soldier

Think you’ve got what it takes to out-snark the resistance airwaves?

I'm collecting new Broadcasts and Transmissions for both the Steam Workshop (SFW) and Patreon (NSFW) versions of Advent Angels — and I want your help. Bring the sass. Bring the absurdity. Bring the hot sauce. Just keep each entry sharp, punchy, and in-universe.

✦ Broadcasts

Broadcasts should be two paragraphs long, ~40 words per paragraph. Think pirate radio: sarcastic, dramatic, weary, or deadpan.

Sample Broadcast (NSFW)

"Advent's figured out they don’t need bullets if your squad’s too busy drooling to aim. The Angels roll in looking like they escaped a fashion show and lost half their outfit on the way. Skin’s out, discipline’s gone, and the next thing we hear is heavy breathing and radio silence.

So unless your combat strategy involves pants around your ankles, eyes front and hands off the assets. They’re not here to date you. They’re here to delete you."

✦ Transmissions

Transmissions should be single lines, 8–15 words. Think overheard squad banter, panicked call-ins, seductive angels, tripped-up soldiers, or half-coherent mutterings post-overwatch.

Sample Transmissions

INTERCEPT #867-B (NSFW)
"I swear, she was reaching for his belt when the feed cut out."

INTERCEPT #1002-G (SFW)
"She unzipped halfway and winked at the Skyranger. Our pilot nearly hit a tower."

Submit for one, the other, or both — SFW or NSFW flavor welcome (just label them!).
My favorite Broadcast and Transmission each win a free 1-month subscription (or refund) to The Clipped Wings tier, which grants full download access to the Advent Angels NSFW Patreon DLC. I'll choose the winner(s) in the evening next Friday, September 12.

Drop your entries in this thread, and let’s see how spicy the resistance can get.