Most men find initiating sex overwhelming. They either overthink it or avoid it entirely in the wait for "the perfect moment" that never really comes.
Added 2026-03-16 14:43:23 +0000 UTCComments
I so hear you!
Lovely Dutta
2026-03-17 15:07:29 +0000 UTCTotally hear that!
Lovely Dutta
2026-03-17 15:07:19 +0000 UTCYes!
Lovely Dutta
2026-03-17 15:07:12 +0000 UTCI get you!
Lovely Dutta
2026-03-17 15:07:03 +0000 UTCCommunication is key!
Lovely Dutta
2026-03-17 15:06:54 +0000 UTCVery interesting!
Lovely Dutta
2026-03-17 14:51:48 +0000 UTCReally appreciate you sharing!
Lovely Dutta
2026-03-17 14:51:39 +0000 UTCThank you for sharing that!
Lovely Dutta
2026-03-17 14:51:26 +0000 UTCI hear you! Very smart!
Lovely Dutta
2026-03-17 14:50:45 +0000 UTCEven after 25 years of marriage, I still hesitate in being the aggressor. I do drop hints to see if she might be in the mood, but my biggest fear is not that she will say no, but that she will say yes just to appease me when it is not something that she really wants. There is nothing harder on a man's ego than to feel like your partner is just wanting to get it over with. Even though that really hasn't happened to us, it is still a fear in the back of my mind. On the other hand, there have been a few recent occasions when my wife said she was hoping I had woken her up before I got out of bed or joined her in the shower that morning. Her way of telling me that she had been wanting to be intimate and trying to encourage me to be more aggressive. Logically, I shouldn't have such fears, but emotions rarely go hand in hand with logic.
Matt D
2026-03-17 03:03:56 +0000 UTCSex initiating was the main discussion that got me thinking about coaching. Increased erotic intelligence and ability to communicate what may be in the way or what your partner is open to helped the most to remove the stress and fights. She was not rejecting me, but the moment was not right for her. Sounds easy to say but implementing is a whole other story.
Chad G
2026-03-16 20:32:40 +0000 UTCFear of rejection and not knowing how to read signals/ambiguity from a partner
Ari
2026-03-16 19:24:27 +0000 UTCMost men, including myself are intimidated to initiate sex for fear of being rejected. Even in situations where both parties have agreed to have sex, there's a significant amount of difficulty in actually making the first move π
William
2026-03-16 18:35:07 +0000 UTCI think the reading signs is my weakness spot. Also, me asking about sex or checking in on them. It seems to be pressuring to my partner even with the reassurance of its okay to not have sex. Another point I find it hard to initiate sex. Is partners will say you can do xyz to me at anytime. And within reason, you go to do x, y, or z and it's an immediate what are you doing? Like we had a whole conversation on this like last week. I feel like more communication is needed.
Feisty_Achievement
2026-03-16 16:33:05 +0000 UTCMY thing is - am I doing this in a way that works for her?
Paul McCrone
2026-03-16 16:26:19 +0000 UTCIt's mainly the "I have to ask the question..." thing. While my wife loves to have sex with me as much as she can, she rarely is the one to say "hey hon, how about tonight?" I feel like I'm the only one of us that really wants it when I have to ask "so...do you wanna get down tonight?" Sometimes I think she likes when I tell her I want it and ask nicely if she does too. I feel like it might be a thing for her, where she's like "he wants me and is going to take me there" kind of thing. As soon as she says "yes" she's like "ok you shower first, let's watch a sexy movie and you can give me a neck massage, and then I'll take my shower" which is her way of saying "I want you really bad!" Honestly, I just wish she could throw her tongue down my throat and take me while we're sitting on the couch not doing much at all!
AndrewA
2026-03-16 16:10:55 +0000 UTChttps://youtu.be/-ZfEvx4-7SE?si=Vx_gAn7n98cq2tqS
Trevor Stewart
2026-03-16 16:04:31 +0000 UTCI was lucky ... 2 women I was with were pretty obvious and VERY frisky. They took the lead. The 3rd never gave clear signals as to being open to the idea beyond wanting friendship. Which I was cool with. As beyond a certain point I didn't flirt or chase or "compete". So my dating experiences were kind of out of the "norm".
Grouchy Vince
2026-03-16 15:13:48 +0000 UTCIMHO- it's not about initiating. That's old hat. It's about interest, understanding, & negotiating. Frankly, 95% of our sex (married 45 years) these days is about scheduling times when we're both at our peak, feeling good, and both open to pleasure. To me, it's more "if not now, when?"
Lake Zup
2026-03-16 15:12:56 +0000 UTC
