[TTIABAD] Chapter 124: Worry

“He’s not waking up.” Tyler said. It hadn’t been the first time he’d said it but it was still damning every time he did.

“Shut up.” Riary said.

“But-”

“Tyler, please. Shut up.”

It had been two weeks and Konohora and Derek hadn’t moved. It had been too dangerous in the first few days to move him. That’s what Konohora said and Tyler would have strongly believed there’d been no point either way if she didn’t constantly tell them he was alive.

It had been… hard. No, Tyler shook his head, that didn’t begin to describe it. He’d never had a family member or friend on their deathbed before. Never watched them wither away. Never seen them truly die. It was different from fighting and the fear and adrenaline. Colder, harsher. It hadn’t been smooth. Konohora had panicked three times during the last week. Every time was worse than the last, like he was waiting for the other shoe to drop.

It took a week of constant healing for Derek’s face to finally come back. He had collapsed in relief at that time. It had been one of the last things to be worked on. Konohora said organs were the hardest part and recreating them from nothing, exponentially harder. Even torn in half was a hundred times easier than missing. And Derek was missing a lot.

She had spent the last week working on his limbs. It was easier than organs but still slow going. His own wounds hurt but had already begun to heal. Konohora hadn’t had the spare energy to use, even for her own. She had warned that she would have to break bones so she could heal them properly and Tyler wasn’t looking forward to that.

She’d said it’d be another week until his body was fully healed. That was… good. That was good. But Derek… Derek wasn’t waking up. He was still asleep. Tyler and Riary had taken their frustration out on the B-Rank monsters nearby. They needed the area clear and that had been difficult with only two of them. He couldn’t get hurt. Neither of them could and he had to protect Riary… without getting injured himself. Konohora wouldn’t be there to heal them. It was… something Tyler had almost never had to worry about before. The only time was the ice area and even then… he’d known the second he got to Konohora, they’d be fine. That wasn’t the case any longer.

Tyler sighed. Sitting down. Riary was cooking some dinosaur up. She was a good cook but Tyler wish they’d thought to bring more spices at this point. It was getting kind of stale. He could only eat so many dinosaur tails. He kept glancing over at Derek, who thankfully seemed to be sleeping peacefully. It was… better.

“Tyler, it’s going to be okay.”

“How can you-! I shouldn’t have-!” He clenched his fists. “It’s our fault.”

“It is not.” Konohora spoke up. “The fault is someone who is already dead Tyler. Not ours and not Derek’s.”

“Of course it’s not Derek’s! He, how can he…” Tyler felt like he was going to explode. He felt Riary’s hand on his shoulder.

“...We never should have come down here.”

“Tyler.” Konohora spoke up. This wasn’t their first conversation like this and it probably wouldn’t be the last. Not until Derek was awake again. “We came down here for strength. We have all advanced.”

“I know but-”

“And,” Konohora interrupted. “Without that strength, we will die. Derek is… hated quite a bit. The war was long. Many atrocities happened on both sides. Sons and daughters en mass lost their loved ones. Kingdoms were razed, refugees still crowd areas near what was once Human Territory. Fairies… the guardians of humanity were hit especially hard. Rinkaru will not be the last fairy we fight and I am shocked we survived this one. Fairies are known to be almost as dangerous as dragons.”

“Fairies…” Tyler looked like he wanted to spit. “They’re supposed to be weak and cute. Not… dbz level superpowered monsters.”

Riary looked at him strangely.

“Is that something from your world? Don’t know where else you’d hear that bullshit. Fairies are fucking strong. They were the only reason demons didn’t win the war.” She looked at Derek with a scowl on her face. “Which really… sucks. I thought we were all going to die when I saw her.”

“I as well.” Konohora said, never taking her eyes or hands off Derek.

“Agreed.” Came a third voice.

Tyler blinked. And turned.

“Derek?!”

*****

“Morning.”

“DEREK!” Tyler screamed and then nearly ran at me. Which was kinda worrying honestly, I was pretty sure I was about to trampled into dust.

Konohora raised one hand to stop Tyler but I could see it in her face and eyes.

“Hey. I’m okay now. You can rest.” I said and she smiled slightly, her face brimming with tired relief and happiness, and then collapsed.

“Konohora?!” Tyler once more screamed.

“She’s just tired.” I said. My… everything felt a bit weird. I shook that away though and took stock of things. There was a very clearly lived in camp around us. We were next to a frankly massive crater and I was startled that grass was already starting to cover the slopes of it. Jesus Christ, how long have I been out?

Tyler desperately looked like he wanted to rush me just stood frozen there in shock. Riary wasn’t much better, simply staring at me, as if I wasn’t real. She surprisingly spoke up first.

“I thought you were dead.” She said.

“Well, I-”

“No.” She said. “I… I didn’t think you were going to make it. I thought you were already dead. I… I…” She swallowed. I understood. I had been in a very similar situation once before. Well, maybe not that similar, no one was dying there. But something bad was going on, you deluded yourself that it wasn’t X, refused to believe it, only to turn out that your delusion wasn’t a delusion. It was like being smacked twice. You first were hit by the fact you really did believe X and that it wasn’t true. Riary looked shellshocked.

“Hey, be careful, that massive dinosaur tail smells really good. Don’t burn it. I’m hungry. Oh god, I’m so fucking hungry. What have you people been feeding me?! Man, quickly, cook that thing up and put on another, I need some food.”

“Derek.” Tyler said, swaying on his feet, “You’re… you’re really here. You’re really awake! YOU’RE ALIVE!”

“Yes. This is Derek, alive, and not deaf.” I said, wishing I could plug my ears. I was a bit… lacking on the fingers department though. And the arms, legs, and limbs part. Oh but hey, I had my dick again. Oh thank god. That would have been disturbing to wake up to missing. I was glad Konohora had prioritized the important things first. I, sadly metaphorically, wiped a bead of sweat away.

Tyler came closer, walking over me and then stood right the fuck above me. A flash of absolute and pure fear drove itself into my heart. Not of Tyler, but I realized I couldn’t fucking move and a mountain of a man was standing above. Holy fucking shit, had Tyler gotten bigger or was I imagining things? Either way, my eyes widened, even as Tyler reached down, grabbed me, and embraced me in a god damn crushing hug. I felt like my newly remade rib cage was going to break and shatter.

“YOU’RE ALIVVVEE!!!”

“Still. Not. Deaf.” I said in between the crushing impromptu hug. Damn, what have you been eating?! Gorilla’s?! Wait, no, dinosaurs. You’ve all been eating really cool ass dinosaurs without me. And fighting them too. Damn it, I wanted to fight more dinosaurs…

I’d settle for not being crushed by an overly emotional strong man though. Actually… was it overly emotional? I really had no idea how long I’d been out. Did it matter? Maybe it was only an hour or two or three. No, that probably didn’t make sense. If it was only a few hours then grass wouldn’t grow like that. Actually, wouldn’t his emotions be worse if it was only a few hours? That we had just gotten done with a battle? I wonder which that is. Do you feel more emotional someone you were worried about after an hour or days or weeks. Almost definitely the second. Yeah that made sense, taking longer to come back put people in a state of anxiety and-

“Derek?” Tyler asked, a worried look on his face.

“Gah. Sorry. Did I get hit in the head? I haven’t spaced out like that in a while. I’d thought I’d shaken that off mostly. Gonna have to be careful not get lost in my own thoughts again. I hated that little unstable quirk.”

Tyler swallowed thickly.

“Uh… your head um… kinda…”

“Tyler, put the stumpy potato down.”

“Oi! Who you calling a stumpy potato?! Come over here and let me bite you. Actually you’d probably like that you hot head.”

“You know you can’t move, can’t cook, and I can burn food right?”

“This potato humbly accepts your wisdom.”

Tyler laughed, he laughed a full-bellied laugh, and then he began to cry. Tears streamed down his face as he continued to laugh.

I smiled wrly. Mostly because he was still holding onto me. But also because my heart hurt. I’d never thought someone would cry over me like this. Tyler was a friend but… I didn’t think we were that close despite me trying to make an effort. Not on his side but mine. It was hard for me to make friends with them. Konohora had been easier but still there’d been distance. Part of this whole thing before coming into the dungeon was to shorten that. I… didn’t really want to be their friend. They hurt me in a way, by forcing me to move along with them at first. They felt more like bad family, people you could never escape from being related to. I was feeling more and more like I was stuck with them. From our first journey to our last journey. But at least some of my resentment was fading away over time.

I’d still rather not be held like a stuffed animal while Tyler cries his eyes out. But it… did something for me. For my heart I mean. I… he was crying over and because of me. Because he was worried. Because he was happy I was a live. I tried to imagine what it would be like if Tyler or Konohora or Riary had been on the death bed and I didn’t have to go far.

Riary had been. Vanessa nearly raped her and kept her as a slave. That was a form of horror and atrocity, one that had sent me into a cold blooded rage. It was frankly unacceptable. I wouldn’t never allow that to happen to her.

Konohora had nearly died from live energies and had needed to be ripped apart in order to slow it down. That had hurt me. It had hurt me deeply, hearing her pained cries and feeling her blood splash against me. Seeing her nearly fade away as Happy had raced to take the only thing that may stop the change. Maybe him grabbing it would have helped, maybe not, it would be impossible to say.

And now it had been my turn to ride that line of pain, of life and death and barely coming out on the other side. I didn’t like that series of events. It suggested Tyler was next but I didn’t really prescribe to the theory fate like that. What it really meant was that we kept ending up in situations where death was a significant “maybe.” Hell, it was more like a guarantee we barely wormed our way out of. We really needed to stop that. Whatever our next challenge or adventure was, wherever we went next, I really hoped we were strong enough to fucking crush it beneath us. We had been on the lower side of things a bit too much in my opinion…

We really needed some weaker enemies. Or, preferably, no enemies.

I sighed. And blinked. Food was in front of me and Tyler had set me down at some point.

“You still in there?” Riary asked, a brittle smile on her face.

“Yeah. Damn, did I blank away again?” They had me leaning up against a rock they had moved at some point.

“Yeah. Are you… okay?”

Was I okay? No. Not remotely. In fact, I was feeling terrible, awful, wrong, and part of me wanted to die or jump into that fire and have my entire body be erased from existence because it felt so wrong. I’d never felt more uncomfortable in my skin. It was like nails against a chalkboard, but it was driving itself across my whole body. I hated, I hated it so much, I hated remembering and feeling what I had been like before I’d been healed. Those horrible, terrible, stained memories, the sensations that had been all wrong and so strong in my psyche, and how I felt mentally unstable, like my thoughts were fading away and around. I was not okay, not even close, and the only reason I wasn’t screaming was because it was like a drop of rain to the ocean of awful it had been before when I’d first woken up.

“I’m okay. Just a bit tired and a whole lot of hungry. And thirsty. Thank you for the food.”

Neither of us really commented about the fact that Riary had to hold the food out for me while I devoured it. I was… really hoping Konohora could make me at least one leg and arm soon. If someone had to help me with going to the damn bathroom… oh god, wait, how long I had been out?! I stopped eating for a moment.

“Hey, uh, how long was I out anyway?”

“Two weeks, so far. Konohora said it’ll be another week at this rate until she can fully heal you.”

NOOOO!!!!! Two weeks?! Konohora definitely had to fucking bed chamber me or something. God, the embarrassment! The smack to my dignity! And another week?! Oh god… I can’t go that long without using the bathroom. Maybe I can get that aura thing to work again… aura legs and arms? How hard could that be?

…I wisely chose not to immediately try to do something while injured and my beautiful, wonderful healer was asleep. We can experiment with that later.

“Are you… sure you’re okay?” Tyler asked, staring at me as I stared blankly out into the world.

“Of course! As good as I can be I mean. In another week, I’ll be up and we can get back to what we were supposed to be doing, beating up monsters and getting stronger. We all broke through I can, which holy crap, that’s great. No wonder we won that fight. Now we just need to get more experience with fighting as a team together and we can leave this damned city and go back to finding my potion and your way home.”

I smiled, even as Riary gave me a calculating look and Tyler smiled wide and bright.

I buried the feelings of wanting to claw my own body apart. I’d beaten this three times before. I can do it a fourth time…

…Maybe.