Autism & Relationships Q&A
Added 2024-01-19 15:00:11 +0000 UTCI want to post a little relationship Q&A with Lewis at the start of Feb. I'd love to include some questions from patrons! If there's anything you want to know, feel free to leave it in the comments here 🥰
P.S. There were many better photos I could've posted here, but Lewis took issue with his appearance in all of them 😆
Comments
Should have said cervics not uterus . Had a brain fart.
Maria Nelson
2024-01-23 19:25:37 +0000 UTCI’ve been in a good few serious relationships with mostly NT’s and one ND. Usually a relationship would end because of a lack of communication. This current relationship I’m in has lasted for a whole year now. Do you find it difficult to talk with your spouse when in an autistic burnout?
Madison Furnari
2024-01-23 03:04:56 +0000 UTCHow did meltdowns/ autistic burnout look in your relationship? Both before and after you identified that your are autistic? Are you both able to identify when you are becoming overwhelmed, and how do you both respond to that?
Liam Lamb
2024-01-22 17:40:46 +0000 UTCFeeling like a burden because you have so many special needs, allergies etc. and not feeling like you have anything to offer because of social struggles (not being confidently talkative because you're scared of saying something weird or people being irritated with you for mentioning a special interest that they don't care about).
BD
2024-01-22 05:56:45 +0000 UTCI’ve been in two serious relationships, both failed (but the last one created the most beautiful soul in a human being that I’ve ever known) I had no idea that I was autistic pretty much my whole life, and i’m pretty sure that it was my traits that caused the failures. Do you think that most NT have to know and understand autism for a relationship to work? (Or did I choose poorly?) even now, the mother of my child does not recognise my traits, and invalidates them with every interaction that we have..
Buddy
2024-01-20 22:36:46 +0000 UTCMy husband since I know I am an Aspie started by taking an interest by now seems to be questioning motives and making me feel imposter, fake, etc. I feel invalidated and that I can’t talk about innermost thoughts and hard to identify feelings. Your man seems so much more open and accepting
Tessa Coker
2024-01-20 09:24:28 +0000 UTCWhat is the most difficult part of two autists with different long-term autistic special interests having a relationship?
Erkin Alp Güney
2024-01-20 05:26:50 +0000 UTCWhat is one thing you appreciate about each other?
Heidi Schwarz
2024-01-20 02:09:25 +0000 UTCI am very child like in the things i like to do. I dont know if that is an autistic thing or not. If you have thoughts on how romantic relationships deal with that. (If you have experience that would be helpful thanks)
Morgyn Olson
2024-01-20 00:57:41 +0000 UTCHow do you handle getting overwhelmed in a relationship? This is for both of you. Does he ever get overwhelmed with shutdowns or do you ever get overwhelmed by things he does due to your autism?
Caroline Greenhouse
2024-01-19 23:56:05 +0000 UTCWhat are (if there are) some difficulties you each see with having an allistic/autistic partner? Like something you have a hard time understanding about the other that you think could be attributed to being a different neurotype. (Also, why are you both wrong about Arya? She’s badass)
Ben Rice
2024-01-19 23:04:56 +0000 UTCHow would you deal with the stigma of being inexperienced in relationships?
Hanfei Wang
2024-01-19 20:03:39 +0000 UTCHow do you find a relationship as a high functioning autistic? Do you think it's ever too late to try if you've been single for all your life? Do you / when do you tell the other person your autistic?
Lee Lock
2024-01-19 19:13:53 +0000 UTCDid you guys always have the same plans (e.g. Wanting to have a child) for your respective futures when you started dating? Or did you guys have kinda different ideas for what you wanted your family to be like, and if so, was it ever a barrier in your relationship?
amberrv
2024-01-19 17:35:36 +0000 UTCAre there any specific communication differences that are much more difficult to deal with than others? My partner gets loud from passion/excitement and my tone blindness causes me to think he’s angry in those moments.
Ellie Newton
2024-01-19 17:14:39 +0000 UTCAnd btw you both look fine to me. I don’t judge after all I cut my own hair and make a mess of it 🤣🤣
Maria Nelson
2024-01-19 16:36:14 +0000 UTCI’m female and identify as heterosexual. I’m over middle aged now. I have always found sex painful and those smear tests we woman get hurt me. Apparently I have a narrow and long narrow tubes to uterus which is likely why I find sex very painful. I basically avoid sex unless I have trust and respect and feel close to the person. These days I have no interest in it and I’m single. I have a couple of friends who are male but don’t socialise much face to face. I have lost my confidence re socialising and relationships. I find it hard to keep friends but I’ve had one of these a long time friend. I also have degenerative discs in my spine. I’m thinking I’m just not interested in sex with anyone. I’m straight. I’d like to have some local companionship. But hoping social services can find some place I can go to socialise with other female and male autistics. I’m middle aged diagnosed. I have a lot of loneliness now. The fact that I don’t have sex these days does that make me Asexual or just old in pain and not interested. I’m 54. I literally just want friends who I can go out with maybe a meal or museum or bands and relate too. I do relate to both my male friends but they are mostly on line though 1 visits me occasionally and stops over night on the sofa.
Maria Nelson
2024-01-19 16:32:47 +0000 UTCDo you have any advice for trying not to be too naive/trusting while dating as an autistic person? I am going through a divorce and I'm both excited and scared of the prospect of dating and ending up in another bad arrangement.
Jamie Blumberg
2024-01-19 16:30:21 +0000 UTCDo you see it as a benefit your diffrent and not both autistic? Does it make things easyer or harder?
Fiona
2024-01-19 16:21:40 +0000 UTCI'm going to give some thought to the questions but tell Lewis he looks 🔥 and not to worry 💚💙💛
Dane Snyder
2024-01-19 15:47:29 +0000 UTCHow did you figure each other out? I always feel like I communicate so differently to ND people, and my needs are often different, too. Plus, I feel like people often think I'm too direct or weird. How did you overcome these initial barries, or were they not there for you? If not, how?
Isabelle
2024-01-19 15:07:19 +0000 UTCwhat are some strategies to help a partner understand and cope with your PDA and/or Alexithymia?
Art
2024-01-19 15:06:19 +0000 UTC
