Vol.3 Chapter 3

As I pushed open the door to my sister's hospital room, her face lit up with a broad smile.

“Oh, you’re here!” she exclaimed with her usual cheerfulness.

This time, however, her joy seemed genuine rather than an exaggerated effort to ease our worries. Had something good happened to her, perhaps?

“Sup, Sis,” I greeted back casually as I approached her bedside.

“You look like you’ve seen better days,” she teased, eyeing my disheveled appearance.

“Do I look that bad?”

“Uh-huh. Are you getting enough sleep?” she asked.

“Just so-so. I stayed up again last night to practice for the tournament,” I admitted, rubbing my eyes.

“I see… Just don’t push yourself too much, okay? Or you might hit the bucket sooner than me,” she quipped, her voice laced with a familiar yet unsettling humor.

Her words hung in the air, and I stayed silent, unsure how to respond. Lately, she has been making more jokes of the same pessimistic kind. I don’t like it one bit.

After a while, she broke the silence.

"Oh, by the way, look at this!" she said, her voice brimming with pride. She held up a delicate rosary. "Isabella gave it to me," she continued, her eyes shining with genuine happiness.

“Isabella?” I said, not quite remembering the name of the nurse.

To be fair, she had a lot of nurses taking turns to care for her needs.

“You know, the Latina that comes to change my clothes once in a while,” my sister explained.

“Oh, her,” I murmured, the memory clicking into place.

“She said this rosary would bring good luck!” my sister added, her face lighting up with a genuine smile.

“Hmm, I don’t really believe in that sort of stuff,” I said, my skepticism evident.

“Don’t be like that! It's better to have a good luck charm than none. And if the operation fails, I might even go to heaven if I have this!” she bantered, her tone light-hearted despite the heavy subject.

Suddenly, it felt as if a string inside my head snapped.

“Don’t joke about those kinds of things!” I exclaimed, my emotions getting the better of me.

Her eyes widened in surprise as she was taken aback by my outburst. Her reaction instantly made me feel bad. I’m usually calm and collected, but I didn’t know what came over me.

I guess the stress of my relentless training for the upcoming AC and my worry about her impending medical operation had finally caught up with me. I really hate this immature side of me sometimes.

“S-sorry…” I stammered, my voice filled with regret. “Besides, I don’t think heaven or hell even exists at all,” I continued, trying to diffuse the tension.

She pondered in silence for a while as her cheerful façade faded.

“I think it doesn't matter whether it is real or not. What matters is the comfort it brings to people, the hope that there might be something waiting for them instead of pure nothingness,” she mused.

Then it hit me why she was talking about the afterlife now, even though I had never pegged her to be the religious type. She was scared. It was probably a coping mechanism for her. She needed to believe that it was real. Otherwise, the alternative, not believing at all, would be unbearable for her.

A wave of guilt washed over me. I’m so stupid and insensitive.

“W-well, whether it’s real or not, you won’t find out for a while because you’re going to live a long life—longer than even me!” I said, my voice cracking a little in trying to cheer her up.

“Heh? Really now?” she replied, the familiar cheerfulness beginning to return.

“Yes… I’m sure of it,” I replied with utmost confidence.

“Hehe, then I’ll believe you,” she responded with a bright smile.

Our conversation drifted to light-hearted topics, primarily about school events. She had always harbored a bit of envy towards me for being able to attend classes like a normal teenager. However, I was certain she would find the experience less enjoyable if she had to attend one herself.

As we chatted, I cherished these moments, wishing they could last forever.

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My eyes fluttered open, a sense of nostalgia lingering from the abruptly ended dream. It was a distant memory, a time when my sister was still alive. It’s been a while since I dreamt of her again.

Looking around, the early morning light had started to filter through the curtains softly, casting a gentle glow across the room. As consciousness fully returned, I noticed a strange sensation on my cheeks—wet and cold. I reached up, feeling the unmistakable trace of tears.

My heart felt heavy, the sorrow from the dream mingling with the reality of the present. I took a deep breath, trying to steady myself, but the weight of the emotions was overwhelming. I reached over to my bedside table and grabbed my phone, squinting at the bright screen to look at the time.

November 18, 2031

6:14 a.m.

It was almost an hour before my alarm was set to go off.

“Looks like I’m up early today, huh?” I muttered to myself.

As I set the phone back down on the table, my eyes fell on the plushie Clarissa had given me. It sat next to our group picture from the tournament awarding ceremony.

My eyes were still adjusting to the dim light as I reached over to the bedside table and picked up the plushie. Clarissa had said it was supposed to bring luck during dungeon runs or something equally absurd.

I couldn’t bring myself to tell her she’d been scammed. Her face had been so full of pride and joy when she handed it to me as a gift for winning the tournament. It was the thought that mattered, after all.

Gently, I touched the plushie's soft fur, my fingers tracing the contours of its face. A bittersweet smile formed on my lips as memories of my sister flooded back.

Holding the plushie close, I whispered, "It doesn't look like you at all, Sis."

Well, it’s only a plushie, after all, not a figurine, so I should lower my standards. At least they got the color scheme right.

The room was quiet, and the only sound was the faint ticking of the clock. I sat there for a moment, clutching the plushie.

Facing my past allowed me to grow. I wasn’t a crying, sobbing mess anymore whenever I was reminded of her. I should thank Liz for unknowingly forcing me to play CoA again and dragging me to join that tournament. It brought me the closure I didn’t know I needed this whole time.

Still, going pro and joining the AC tournament was another matter. I wasn’t sure I wanted to dedicate the latter half of my life to pursuing a dream I had already achieved. There didn’t seem to be a point if she wasn’t here to share the moment… not that she was even there to celebrate it with me when we achieved our dream and won the very first Andartha Cup.

Resigned, I swung my legs over the side of the bed, planting my feet on the cool floor, and tried to shake off the lingering sadness. I placed the plushie back on the table next to the tournament photo and made my way to the bathroom.

The mirror reflected a slightly disheveled version of myself, but a splash of cold water on my face quickly brought me back to life, and I continued with my usual early morning routine.

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After eating breakfast and gathering my essentials, a quick glance in the mirror confirmed that I was ready to go. I slipped on my shoes, grabbed my jacket since it was cold this time of the season, and headed for the door. I took one last look around to make sure I hadn't forgotten anything, then stepped outside.

Today was different, though. Instead of heading to college as usual, I was commuting to Ardmore, my hometown. It had been a while since I visited, and I had a purpose in mind for today.

Stepping outside, the crisp morning air greeted me as I made my way to the nearest subway station. The streets of Philadelphia were already bustling with the early morning rush; the city was slowly coming to life.

As I descended the steps into the station, the familiar sounds of the subway echoed around me. I swiped my transit card and walked towards the platform, joining the crowd of commuters waiting for their train. The display board showed just a few minutes until the next train to Ardmore would arrive.

The train arrived with a whoosh, and I boarded, finding a seat by the window. As the train pulled away from the station, I watched the cityscape blur into a mix of buildings and trees. The rhythmic clatter of the tracks provided a soothing backdrop, allowing my mind to wander.

The train ride blended the city's hustle with the serene landscapes of the suburbs. As we moved closer to Ardmore, the scenery shifted to quieter neighborhoods and tree-lined streets, a stark contrast to Philadelphia's urban sprawl.

When the train finally pulled into the Ardmore station, I gathered my things and stepped off, taking a moment to adjust to the suburb's slower pace. The air felt fresher, and the ambiance was more relaxed.

The familiar sights and sounds of my hometown comforted me, but instead of heading to my parents' house, I went to visit the cemetery. I didn't want my parents to know I had skipped class to come here after all, though I’m sure they would understand if they somehow found out.

I might even meet them there since today… was my sister’s death anniversary, after all.

But first, I needed to stop by the flower store.

The flower store was a small, charming shop not far from the station. As I entered, the bell above the door chimed softly, and the sweet fragrance of fresh flowers enveloped me. I made my way to the counter, where the florist greeted me with a warm smile.

"How can I help you today?" she asked.

"…I'm looking for a bouquet for my sister's grave," I replied solemnly.

"I see. Let me prepare something special for you," The florist's smile softened with understanding.

I watched as she skillfully arranged a bouquet of white lilies, roses, and baby's breath. The delicate flowers symbolized purity and remembrance, perfect for the occasion. As she handed me the finished bouquet, I felt a pang of emotion, knowing its significance.

"…Thank you," I said curtly, taking the bouquet after paying for it and leaving the store.

The flowers felt almost weightless in my hands, yet they carried a heavy sentiment.

With the bouquet in hand, I made my way to the cemetery. The path was lined with trees, their leaves rustling gently in the breeze.

The stroll was quite relaxing, with very few people here and there, which added to the tranquility. The cemetery always offered me a bit of solace every time I visited it.

When I arrived at my sister’s grave, I was greeted by the serene beauty of the surroundings. Her headstone stood in a quiet corner, surrounded by a lush expanse of meticulously maintained green grass. The headstone itself was simple yet elegant, its smooth marble surface catching the gentle light of the early morning sun.

I immediately noticed the absence of flowers and realized my parents hadn’t arrived yet. It wasn’t surprising since I was quite early. They might visit later in the day, especially with my father being busy with his business venture.

As I approached her grave, I knelt down and placed the bouquet gently at the base of her headstone.

“It’s been a while, Sis,” I whispered yearningly.

“A lot has happened lately, so much so that you won’t believe it,” I continued.

I took a deep breath and began, “For starters, I began playing CoA again with a new account. You won't believe it, but I won a huge tournament recently with the haphazard team Liz put together!”

Realizing that she didn’t know who Liz was, I immediately tried to explain.

“Oh, Liz is a close friend of mine. She’s the reason I got back to playing. She’s a bit overly enthusiastic sometimes, but her heart is always in the right place.”

I paused, reflecting on Liz’s qualities. “You know, she reminds me of you. Super positive to a fault and incredibly empathetic. She always puts others before herself and cheers everyone up as best as she can. That’s probably why I always feel so comfortable around her.”

A moment of silence passed as I pondered our past conversations about faith.

“…You know, I remembered what you said back then about having beliefs—that it’s better to have something to cling to than nothing at all. I kind of understand what you mean cause even though I know you're not here with me… it's comforting to believe that you’re in a much better place right now and that you just might be able to hear me rambling on like this.”

I continued to talk and share every detail I could think of: my first day of college, meeting Liz and the others, the guild I had just joined, the qualifiers leading up to the tournament, and the tournament itself. I spoke about the numerous organizations that tried to recruit me and even bragged about my current popularity at our college.

I shared everything I could think of with her. It felt refreshing to talk this much, something I never did with other people. Time seemed to slip away as I poured out my heart.

After a while of talking so much that I could feel my throat parched, my stomach growled, prompting me to glance at my watch.

“Oh, it's almost time for lunch. I know I rarely visit you because of my own… issues, but I think I've grown stronger now, emotionally at least. I didn’t even cry this time, right?” I said, a hint of pride in my voice.

“I'll visit you often from now on. That's a promise,” I added with conviction, feeling a sense of peace settle over me as I prepared to leave.