Latex demon sketch pg18-25
Added 2024-09-17 17:16:20 +0000 UTCSo sorry for taking so long . I manage to t 8 page out of this. I still can't fixed my productivity issue to be honest.
I think I got too little excited and make it too long now. I just want draw more ple dancing scene lol. I already cut a few idea out i'll tried finished this in next 5-6 page. as always aif you want to help
Thank you again for your continue support this month.
Comments
i see, thanks! a follow-up: i presume given this, they go out to feed on humans every so often? if so, how would that process work? is it some extraction of life force, leaving the subject dead, or some other method?
SansPapyrus683
2024-09-18 15:39:56 +0000 UTCYes, their kill. I mean the guard demon kill few of the soldiers during the first few page.
ibenz009
2024-09-18 05:15:43 +0000 UTChearing gilda suddenly made me curious- do demons kill in this world, whether by sucking life force or some other means? i think we’ve only seen them converting
SansPapyrus683
2024-09-18 03:42:26 +0000 UTCEven more bountiful mana and a visit from Gilda as well. Writing is rough, but that is what editing and proof reading is for. Keep up the amazing work you do.
Benjamin Francis
2024-09-18 01:50:14 +0000 UTC@ibenz009 I have some leftover grammar edits from the last update, and then I'll get to these pages. 14: Fang: Gah! Why … Why ARE THEY so enormous!? I can’t fight with THESE THINGs flopping around! Tail: Hahaha … your mana WAS SO abundant, I HAD to store it somewhere! Fang: Damnit, my ass too! It’s so tight! I can feel my body rubbing AGAINST this damn leather every time I move! Damnit! How did it end up like this!? I WAS SUPPOSED to slay this wretched demon. Instead, I’ve BECOME its replacement! Tail: Isn’t it romantic, dear? To hold EACH OTHER, tight like this. Our magical energy MELDING together, more and more … Fang: Shut it, demon! I don’t need your crap right now! 15: Bernard: WHAT, HO! WHOM WOULDST HATH B’LIEVED … That heretic brute NOW WEARS the face of A FAIR MAIDEN. The DEVIL’S FOUL MAGICK BE AFEAR’D. Fang: Wait! Church Clan, I …! Bernard: See? Silence, fiend! Rather than WEAR Death with dignity, THOU HATH GIVE DALLIANCE WITH DEVILS! You SHAN’T TEMPT ME with LUSTFUL VISAGE, JEZEBEL! Fang: You bastard! I became LIKE this because of you! Tail: Dear, I don’t think he’ll listen. Fang: Damnit! I’m not a demon! Bernard: FOR THOU HATH RELINQUISHED MANHOOD, I HATH EV'RY DIVINE RIGHT, TO VANQUISH THEE, HEATHEN! Fang: You son of a … ! 16: Bernard: O GODDESS! I CALL UPON THY LIGHT! Fang: Kyaaa! Bernard: LAY ON AND ASSAIL, MEN! Fang: Ahh! Knight: Ha! DAEMONS BARNE BE FACILE GAME! Tail: You awful, awful human! How dare you gang up on A defenseless woman!? And you DARE call yourself a knight!? FIE on you! Look at her pretty hair, all ruined! Hmph! Look at you - can’t even bleed, and you call yourself a human!? 17: Tail: Oh no! Darling, your MANA’S beginning to leak! THAT’S WHAT you get for taking THE GODDESS’ MAGIC head on! COME, DEAR. I’ll PATCH US UP, REAL QUICK! Fang: The LEATHER’S BEGINNING to grow back! What is this feeling …? Why DOES BEING WRAPPED INSIDE this leather feel so safe and warm!? I feel like a maiden being PROTECTED by her FAITHFUL knight! Ahhh! My heart IS pounding … Ugh! Hah!? What in the name of THE SPIRITS is coming out of my head!? No, this isn’t happening!
Arthur Yeung
2024-09-18 00:30:55 +0000 UTCFormat: Original quote ↴ Modified quote with [notes] ↴ Modified quote without notes. Notes shown in [square brackets] Multiple possible modifications shown in {curly brackets / braces} ―――――――――― ???: "Keep attacking! The demon still alive!" ↴ “Keep attacking! The demon is still alive!” Fang: "Dammit I can't let them hit me again I need to...!" ↴ “Dammit, I can’t let them hit me again. I need to…!” Fang: "Do...Wha..!?" ↴ “To… [Though it doesn’t really matter, I can’t really think of a logical continuation of the previous sentence with ‘do’ (i.e., ‘I need to do…’ is grammatically fine, but ‘do’ is an action for the future, she needs to do something now, so ‘do’ would normally be dropped, ‘I need to…’) whereas if it’s a stammer, it makes more sense.] Wha—!?” [Presumably she’s in shock of summoning a pole and doesn’t finish her thought. Look, it's really six of one, half a dozen of the other, but having 3 ellipses in a row isn’t great.] ↴ “To… Wha—!?” Fang: "Why do I move like this?" ↴ “Why am I moving like this?” [Again, ‘do’ is for when one isn’t actively engaged in the action they’re mentioning.] ↴ “Why am I moving like this?” Fang: "It's like an instict." ↴ “It’s like an instinct.” [typo’d] ↴ “It’s like an instinct.” Fang: "Is he admiring my body...?" Fang: "I can taste his desire coming out of him" ↴ “{I can taste the desire coming out of him. / I can taste his desire. / I can taste his desire coming out of him.}” [The sentence is a bit clunky. Fine grammatically, but a regular English speaker wouldn’t say it like that. Something like one’s ‘desires’ or ‘thoughts’ or whatnot are implicitly from one to begin with so the inclusion of ‘coming out of him’ is rough. Alternatively, we can swap out the determiner ‘his’ for ‘the’ and the sentence flows again. It does change the semantics very mildly (desire becomes less personal), so up to you want you want.] ↴ “{I can taste the desire coming out of him. / I can taste his desire. / I can taste his desire coming out of him.}” Fang: "If I'm smile at him like this will he give me more?" ↴ “If I [Not ‘I am’ but ‘I’] smile at him like this, [separate clauses] will he give me more?” ↴ “If I smile at him like this, will he give me more?” Fang: "Delicious..." Fang: "Yes! More. Give me more." Fang: "Ahhh! His scrumptious essence flowing into me!" [This text was read out of order. My recommendation would be to nudge it up and left oh-so-slightly so it's more apparent it's part of this panel.] ↴ “Ahhh! His scrumptious essence is [Dropped an ‘is’] flowing into me!” ↴ “Ahhh! His scrumptious essence is flowing into me!” Fang: "A lustful and plump little human." Fang: "I could eat you whole." Fang: "Good, darling. You are almost there." ↴ “Good, darling. You’re almost there.” Fang: "No!!" Fang: "Huff huff This body! It's changing me!" Fang: "Gah It's felt so right. No! I can't let myself become a demon!" ↴ “Gah, it felt so right. No! I can’t let myself become a demon!” Tail: "Why are you resisting, dear?" Tail: "Why denied your true desire?" ↴ “Why deny [Present tense] your true desire?” ↴ “Why deny your true desire?” Fang: "Shut up! I'm a man a warrior! I will pull you out myself before I succumb to... to..." ↴ “Shut up! I’m a man, [This is a list, separate items] a warrior! I’ll pull {you off / you out of myself} [Are they stating they will do it, in which case the former makes more sense, or threatening to do it, in which case the latter.] before I succumbed to… to…” ↴ “Shut up! I’m a man, a warrior! I’ll pull {you off / you out of myself} before I succumbed to… to…” Tail: "To this?" Tail: "Do like it ,dear? A raw magical energy inject direcly into your mana flesh." ↴ “Do you like it, dear? Raw magical energy [‘Energy’ is uncountable, no need for ‘a’.] injected directly [typo’d] into your {body / mana / essence / being / flesh}. [‘Mana flesh’ isn’t great. For one, one doesn’t typically say ‘inject into one’s flesh’. I’ve proposed some alternative words.] ↴ “Do you like it, dear? Raw magical energy injected directly into your {body / mana / essence / being / flesh}. Fang: "My mind it's going blank! This pleasure! It's too much for human!" [This text was quite small and a bit hard to read even on my computer monitors. Might want to bump up the text size, just a bit] ↴ “My mind, it’s going blank! This pleasure! It’s too much for a {human / mortal / person}!” [‘(a) human’ is fine, but I can’t imagine a brute using such a term. While not overly technical, it’s not a word one encounters too often. I’ve proposed some alternatives, but you can go for ‘human’.] ↴ “My mind, it’s going blank! This pleasure! It’s too much for a {human / mortal / person}!” Fang: "Ah ah stop if anymore wave coming I...I..." ↴ “Ah, ah, stop! If any more [‘Anymore’ and ‘any more’ are different. You want ‘any more’ here] waves are coming, I… I…” ↴ “Ah, ah, stop! If any more waves are coming, I… I…” ???: "Gi!?" Fang: "Ahh screw humanity! Screw being a man!" Fang: "No man no woman can sastify me like this!" ↴ “No man, no woman can satisfy [typo’d] me like this!” ↴ “No man, no woman can satisfy me like this!” Fang: "My heart belong to my one and only my darling!" ↴ “My heart belongs to my one and only, [Comma before addressing] my darling!” ↴ “My heart belongs to my one and only, my darling!” Fang: "This is who I meant to be!!!" ↴ “This is who I was meant to be!!!” Fang: "HAAAAAAA..." Fang: "I have reborn..." ↴ “I have been reborn…” Fang: "Fang, a high demon." ↴ “Fang, {a / the} high demon.” [Using ‘a’ is fine. But if she’s treating her name like a title, ‘the’ would be better. Really, it’s about how full of herself she is.] ↴ “Dang, {a / the} high demon.” Fang: "Your heart and souls shall be mine." ↴ “Your hearts [She’s not referring to anyone specifically, plural] and souls shall be mine.” ↴ “Your hearts and souls shall be mine.” Bernard: "What happend!?" ↴ “What happened!?” Bernard: "Soldiers, she's walking right pass you! Stop her!" ↴ “Soldiers, she’s walking right {by / past} [The correct word is ‘past’, but in common parlance the phrase ‘right by’ trounces ‘right past’ in usage.] you! Stop her!” ↴ “Soldiers, she’s walking right {by / past} you! Stop her!” Fang: "Fufufu, it's useless. Their's cheap holy amulet are no use again my charming aura." ↴ “Fufufu, it’s useless. Their [‘Their’ is the possessive collection pronoun. It’s already possessive, no need to stick the “’s” at the end.] cheap holy amulets [Plural, it’s a collective] are no use against [typo’d] my charming aura.” ↴ “Fufufu, it’s useless. Their cheap holy amulets are no use against my charming aura.” Fang: "These lovely knights heart are belong to me now." [Real 'all your base are belong to us' moment.] ↴ “These lovely knights’ [It’s the hearts that belong to the knights (as a group), so we now need to stick the possessive “’s” at the end of the word. Now, the word already ends in an ‘s’, which means what we do next is entirely stylistic, and up to you. Some people would still append the “’s” (e.g., “knights” -> “knights’s”, “Jess” -> “Jess’s”, etc.), others drop the ‘s’ and just have the apostrophe (e.g., “knights” -> “knights’”, “Jess” -> “Jess’”, etc.). It’s purely stylistic (and they’re pronounced the same), and sometimes also dependant on the word. Keeping the ‘s’ is more common for most words, but for ‘knights’ it’s usually dropped.] hearts [Plural] belong to me now.” ↴ “These lovely knights’ hearts belong to me now.” Fang: "Ahhh to think I tried to resist this..." Fang: "To conquer men with just my look alone." ↴ “To conquer men with just my looks [People have ‘looks’] alone.” ↴ “To conquer men with just my looks alone.” Fang: "This is my power as a demon!" Fang: "And only thing that protects you from my charm is that little trinket." ↴ “And {the only thing that / only that thing} [The latter is more aggressive and dismissive.] protects you from my charm is that little trinket.” ↴ “And {the only thing that / only that thing} protects you from my charm is that little trinket. Fang: "I could order my slave to gut you like a fish." ↴ “I could order my slaves [Plural] to gut you like a fish.” ↴ “I could order my slaves to gut you like a fish.” Fang: "But what fun in that?" ↴ “But where’s the fun in that?” [That’s the phrase you’re looking for.] ↴ “But where’s the fun in that?” Fang: "Come on show me what goddess's warrior are made off." [Pretty small text again.] ↴ “Come on, [Separate clauses] show me what the Goddess’s [The warriors are ‘the’ Goddess’s, include ‘the’.] warriors [Plural] are made of.” [To be ‘made of’ something means it has the composition of said thing. To have ‘made off’ with something means to run away with said thing.] ↴ “Come on, show me what the Goddess’s warriors are made of.” Fang: "Don't tell me a demon hunter afraid to actually a demon one on one?" ↴ “Don’t tell me the [She’s talking to a specific demon hunter, ‘the’ makes more sense here.] demon hunter is afraid to actually {fight a demon one on one / one-on-one a demon}?” [As is, it reads like you dropped a verb. We can insert one or alternatively we can swap the order of words and make the ‘one on one’ the verb.] Bernard: "Damn you!" Bernard: "How dare you look down on me you dirty demon!!" ↴ “How dare you look down on me, you dirty demon!!” Bernard: "!?" Fang: "Demon's kiss" Fang: "Fool, your toy may protect you from my aura." ↴ “Fool, your toy may protect you from my aura…” [Recommend you have an ellipsis to indicate this sentence continues.] ↴ “Fool, your toy may protect you from my aura…” Fang: "But taking my charm spell directy is another story." ↴ “But taking my charm {point blank / directly [typo’d]} [When talking about taking something directly and very close (and usually for attacks), the term ‘point blank’ is usually used.] is another story.” ↴ “But taking my charm {point blank / directly} is another story.” Fang: "Now, be a dear and throw that trash away." ???: "Good work my dear Bernard. Now we can feed on your life essence to our heart content." ↴ “Good work, my dear Bernard. Now we can feed on your life essence to our heart’s content.” ???: "Right, darling?" ???: "Fufufu I wonder what noble's desire taste like." ↴ “Fufufu, I wonder what a noble’s desire tastes like.” Fang: "Mmmm, rich and vain perfect!" Gilda: "Desire huh? Personally, I prefer my human fear and uneasy." ↴ “Desire, huh? Personally, I prefer {my humans fearful and uneasy / the fear and uneasy in my humans}.” [Does she want the humans to be in a state of those emotions (the former) or does she eat the emotions directly (the latter)?] ↴ “Desire, huh? Personally, I prefer {my humans fearful and uneasy / the fear and uneasy in my humans}.” Fang: "Gah!?" Tail: "M'lady!?" Gilda: "Heya!" Fang: "Darling, do you know who she is!?" Tail: "Shhhhh! This is Lady Gilda an archdemon created by Demon Lord herself." ↴ “Shhhhh! This is Lady Gilda, [Separate clauses] an archdemon created by the [Specifically it’s ‘the’ Demon Lord] Demon Lord herself.” ↴ “Shhhhh! This is Lady Gilda, an archdemon created by the Demon Lord herself.” Gilda: "In short I'm your boss!" ↴ “In short: I’m your boss!” [Colons are used are to indicate an expansion or explanation on a topic or start of a list. It’s being used semi-satirical manner here: The expansion is very short, and not really needed (and here it was used unironically; to explain the proper usage of one). You could instead use a comma, but a colon in this case plays in Gilda’s playful and laidback nature.] ↴ “In short: I’m your boss!” Fang: "Pardon my rudeness m'lady! I just became a demon a few minute ago." ↴ “Pardon my rudeness, [Addressing] m’lady! I just became a demon a few minutes [Plural] ago.” ↴ “Pardon my rudeness, m’lady! I just became a demon a few minutes ago.” Gilda: "Don't sweat it." Gilda: "What a shame what happend to your former partner. I'm glad you found a new bestie already!!" ↴ “What a shame, with what happened [typo’d] to your former partner. I’m glad you found a new bestie already!” [It’s not clear whether she’s talking to Fang or the tail. That’s kind of important to know because it determines who the speaker of the following is. A simple reading would be that she’s talking to Fang, as that’s the last person she was conversing with. But what partner is she referring to then? Bernard? Rhys? The Church Clan as a whole (in which case it should be ‘partners’)?] ↴ “What a shame, with what happened to your former partner. I’m glad you found a new bestie already!” ???" "Thank you m'lady may I ask what business do you have with us?" ↴ “Thank you m’lady. [Separate sentences] May I ask what business [Drop the ‘do’] you have with us?” ↴ “Thank you m’lady. May I ask what business you have with us?” Gilda: "Oh yeah! This child need a new home." ↴ “Oh yeah! This child needs a new home.” Gilda: "I suppose to give this seed to your predecessor. I guess it's fall to you now. ↴ “I was supposed [Past tense] to give this seed to your predecessor. [Also indicates she’s speaking to Fang. The tail is the same; it has no predecessor, but Fang does.] I guess it falls to you now.” ↴ “I was supposed to give this seed to your predecessor. I guess it falls to you now.”
trigger_portal_cleanser
2024-09-17 23:51:01 +0000 UTCI feel sorry for the poor demon we lost :(
Lucy
2024-09-17 19:50:23 +0000 UTCShe can conjuring enegy pole from magic.
ibenz009
2024-09-17 18:54:36 +0000 UTCWell since Gilda said to take care of her... I guess a demon is still a demon.
zzwx1215
2024-09-17 18:53:53 +0000 UTCwhere did the pole in the first page come from
SansPapyrus683
2024-09-17 18:42:23 +0000 UTCUnfortunately yes.
ibenz009
2024-09-17 18:38:09 +0000 UTCHope she still have some good aspects as a demon. By the way, does a new partner means the guard girl at first is dead?
zzwx1215
2024-09-17 18:34:54 +0000 UTCNooo please dont cut anything out. Some dancing pages or whatever you want to add is 100% fine add more
Original_Sin
2024-09-17 18:26:28 +0000 UTCShe's such a hot demon ^^
StarGazer
2024-09-17 18:00:06 +0000 UTC哇哦！又色气又可爱，而且画工又长进了，太强了
pilot_WXY
2024-09-17 17:48:57 +0000 UTCYeah, she is fully demon now.
ibenz009
2024-09-17 17:48:09 +0000 UTCSo she totally corrupted to the demon side?
zzwx1215
2024-09-17 17:37:20 +0000 UTCหน้าหลังๆ คิดว่ากำลังดีเลย แต่ตรงที่เข้าด้านมืดแค่เสพมานานิดเดียวถึงขั้นติดกลายเป็นนารีนี่คิดว่าเร็วไปหน่อย อันนี้ความเห็นของผมนะ คิดว่าควรเพิ่มซักหน้าให้เถียงในใจแต่ตรรหานำหล่ะ เพราะตอนแรกมาเหมือนจะพยายามต้านสุดๆ
ธีรวีร์ ทองคํา
2024-09-17 17:28:26 +0000 UTCหน้าเยอะเกินแล้วครับหน้าหลังๆ คงไปเร็วละ 555
ibenz009
2024-09-17 17:26:17 +0000 UTCอันนี้คิดว่าเข้าด้านมืดเร็วไปหน่อย55555 แต่นอกเหนือจากนี้โคตรดีย์
ธีรวีร์ ทองคํา
2024-09-17 17:23:54 +0000 UTC
