Violet Participates, PT. 3

She didn’t know how to feel or what to think, and had stopped trying to make sense of things. There was no sense. What happened at night didn’t count in the light of day. It was the only way she could cope with the guilt and shame of what was happening between them. It shouldn’t be happening. She didn’t want it to continue, but to get him to stop would be to actually talk about it, and she couldn’t. So it continued and with every week that passed, she’d become more affected to the point that she masturbated regularly. Even now, her body was priming itself for what would come. Self-loathing and anticipation coursed through her as she waited to see what tonight would offer.

An hour passed. She lay on her stomach, determined not to participate by giving him an easy target. Another hour passed. Relief mixed with irritation. She wished he had a predictable schedule, but the times and days varied so much, there was no predicting anything. Apparently, Jesse had conquered his demons for the night, which left hers to deal with.

She flipped onto her back and slid her hand down her revved up body. She rubbed herself through her pajama shorts and underwear. An image of his body that he’d so casually revealed in the living room crossed her mind, along with the feeling of him on top of her on the couch. Heat speared through her, and she bit back a moan as she arched her hips into her own hand. Even as the thought inflamed her, guilt swamped her.

She tried to think of another boy, but it was impossible to think of anyone else when Jesse was the one who’d unwittingly jumpstarted her sexuality. She hated that he’d forced her to acknowledge him sexually. She wished she could still view him platonically, but it wasn’t possible.

Now, all the things her friends found attractive about him, she found herself inspecting for herself. The lips they thought were pure perfection, she’d seen him bite during orgasm. His athletic build gave him a body that didn’t need to be covered up. She hated that she’d actually hoped one day he wouldn’t wear a shirt when he came to her so she could see his body in its entirety. She was losing her freaking mind. She was terrified that her friends would somehow sense what was happening between them or that she’d changed, but like their parents, her friends seemed oblivious to any undercurrents between her and Jesse. But, why should they pick up on anything when Jesse treated her like a sister during the day? It left her feeling disoriented and confused. She wished she could confide in someone about the confusing things that were happening to her, but she didn’t dare.

Her body tensed as she approached the finish line. Her toes curled as she prepared for take off and… the door to her left swung open. Her hand stilled on her crotch as Jesse’s familiar shadow approached. She closed her eyes and hoped the comforter looked like it was merely bunched where it was instead of him realizing…

He stood over her for a moment before he leaned down and inhaled. He couldn’t smell her arousal, could he? She didn’t dare open her eyes any wider to see his expression, but the fact that he took another, longer inhale made her start to sweat. Just get on with it, she silently screamed.

“Shit,” he whispered.

She flinched, shocked by his curse and the fact he’d actually spoken. Normally, it was muffled, involuntary sounds, but hearing his voice tore at the seams of this alternate reality that didn’t affect their real lives.

The sound of him stroking himself made her clench her teeth. It was the worst punishment to act like a lifeless doll when she was so close. Why had she wasted so much time wrestling with herself? She could have come and been asleep hours ago. Then, she wouldn’t have to listen to the sounds he was making that made the space between her legs so slippery she would need to change her panties.

Jesse stifled moan unraveled her control. She pressed on her clit, but it wasn’t enough. She needed that back and forth motion, but she risked Jesse noticing. Would he, though? He was focused on his own needs, and he was making enough noise that she knew he was close too. Moving as little as possible she began to rub and was rewarded with a wave of heat that rushed over her. Her lips parted as she sucked in a deep breath and heard Jesse do the same. She found herself matching Jesse’s strokes. It was so thrillingly wrong, so taboo, but her body didn’t care. Her heart soared. This was going to be the best orgasm she’d ever had.

“Violet.”

She obeyed without thought. Her eyes popped open and connected with Jesse’s, which were dark, glittering pools. As always, he wore his shirt and his cock jutted beneath it. He was close, she could tell from the way he was jerking on the head of his penis.

As she realized they were actually staring at one another, that they’d broken their unspoken pact, a bolt of heat lanced through her. Her climax bubbled up. She parted her lips to catch her breath as her eyes began to roll.

“Shit,” she heard again.

When the head of his cock touched her lips, they parted even more. He spilled into her mouth, over her lips. Remnants dribbled down her chin. Even in the midst of her orgasm, his gut-wrenching groan freaked her out. Their parents were going to hear!

The hot euphoria of the climax faded, leaving behind cold horror. She lay there, trying to control her breathing as her heart hammered in her chest. Not wanting to face the consequences of her actions, she went motionless again, like a stupid animal who’d made a foolish move and hoped they would blend back in with their surroundings before the hunter took its shot.

Jesse didn’t move for several minutes. Neither did she. She didn’t even swallow, she was so determined for him to believe her looking at him had been a figment of his imagination. She willed him to walk away, willed him not to break their unspoken pact. If he did, she didn’t know what she was going to do.

She was so attuned to him, she sensed the moment he moved, even though he didn’t make a sound. There was a light snick of the bathroom door closing. She opened her eyes. Jesse didn’t wash his hands or use the toilet. He went straight through to his bedroom and closed that door too. Everything went still and quiet and tranquil, as if what just took place between them never happened.

She finally swallowed. Was it her imagination, or was his cum sweeter than the first time? Was it the buttermilk pie? Horrified over her thoughts, she sat up and feverishly scrubbed at her face with her sheet to remove all traces of him. The urge to shower and gargle with mouthwash to banish his taste was strong, but if she entered the bathroom, would he try to talk to her?

Shaking, she went to her drawer and eased it open to get a new set of underwear and pajamas and tossed her ruined ones into the hamper. When she climbed back into bed, she huddled under the covers and curled up in the fetal position.

This couldn’t go further. This was so wrong. What was happening to them? How had they gotten here? If Mom knew… The thought actually made her nauseous, but the thought of Dad knowing made her wildly shake her head. Dad would… Well, she had no idea what he would do, but it wouldn’t end well for either of them. Dad loved Jesse. Sometimes, she felt he favored Jesse over her. He was everything a man could want in a son. He had complete trust in Jesse. This would shatter him. That couldn’t happen.

She swiped at her leaking eyes. She should have put a stop to this. She hadn’t and now it was getting worse. This was her fault. She would fix it and get their family back on track.

**This is a raw draft of the prequel for Corrupt Idol. Please do not share or distribute.

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