Nero Walker, Book 4 Ch.71 (302)

Looking back on how the conversation with Nero and the others had gone, Jennings couldn’t help but chastise himself over how little effort he’d put in to his side of the conversation. With the comparatively small amount of attention he’d been providing his sub-mind, the part of his mentality that had been representing him, he wouldn’t be surprised if Nero dismissed his poorly presented ideas and instead decided to follow one of the others’ recommendations.

He’d been too distracted, too invested in what he was doing. He was willing to admit that. But who wouldn’t be if they were seeing what he was seeing? If his suspicions were proven true, then this discovery was unprecedented!

Deciding that he was possibly getting ahead of himself, he decided to reach out to his old friend Mathers for a consultation. While not exactly difficult, it was a challenge to create a scry-window from where he was all the way to the capital. However, he felt like it was imperative for him to get a second opinion from someone he could trust.

When the small window opened in front of him, he saw Mathers’ expressionless face greet him with a look of annoyance on his face.

“What do you want? I haven’t finished going through this ‘proposal’ you’ve just sent over, if that’s what you’re asking. Did you even proofread this? Anyone who reads this is going to think you’re an idiot!” Mathers griped as he held up a bundle of papers, shaking them angrily in front of him.

It took a moment for Jennings to recognize what Mathers was talking about. Luckily, the submind which had been tasked with dealing with Nero alerted him to what it, on his behalf, had done. While it had been discussing with Nero the best way to avoid being dragged to the capital, the submind had proposed asking the Tower of Magic in Hennings for help, an idea which he had supported. What he hadn’t realized, since he hadn’t been paying all that much attention, was that the submind had taken that suggestion a step further and already sent out a detailed request through the long distance linkage system he’d set up through the local Tower of Magic directly to Mathers’ office in Hennings.

Understanding that the request had likely been poorly constructed, and possibly somewhat embarrassing, Jennings immediately tried to downplay how much effort he’d put into it by saying, “Oh, that? You shouldn’t concern yourself too much with that. It was just an offhand idea I had. I considered it might be good for us to create a compendium of trials, those which are occurring in real time across the kingdom, updating it daily. Yes, I originally came up with the idea so that we would have somewhere to send Lord Walker instead of the capital, but it’s also just a good idea in general. Don’t you agree?”

Somewhat skeptical, Mathers frowned while taking another look at the papers in his hand, as if seeing them for the first time. Without looking away from the papers, he said, “I suppose I can see how that would be useful. But I’m sure many such lists already exist in other departments and towers. Couldn’t we just coordinate with the military or the Tower of Fate…. Oh, I see what you mean! With how much trouble we’ve been causing for those idiotic fateweavers, they’re not going to be of much use for much longer. We need to start developing our own intelligence channels. Our towers are already in the cities, we just need to start compiling their reports into something we can use.”

Slamming the bundled papers down on his desk, he turned his attention back to Jennings and shouted, “Then why didn’t you just say that! Why create such a jumbled mess of instructions that look like they were arranged by an adept angling for a promotion?”

Not wanting to admit how little mental energy he’d put into the formal request he’d sent out, Jennings replied harshly, “Obviously, I was intending to hide our intentions behind several layers of obfuscation in case any other interested parties got their hands on it! You need to start thinking like a politician if you wish to remain sitting in that chair! Leading the council of mages requires more than just ability, it requires cunning!”

Not wanting to allow Mathers to respond, Jennings immediately changed the subject. “Nevermind that! That’s not why I contacted you. I need to ask your opinion about something.”

Having rarely been one to consult with anyone, Jennings' request caught Mathers' interest.

“Oh? You have my attention…” Mathers asked while leaning forward in his chair with an eager and intense expression on his face.

Choosing his words carefully so that he wouldn’t influence Mathers’ thinking, Jennings explained in great detail what experiments and techniques he’d used since he’d begun investigating the formal portal site. During every described step, he clearly and concisely stated only what he’d found. He did not, however, make any mention of any conclusions he’d come to, or theories he’d come up with as a result of these tests.

When he was finished, Jennings patiently waited for Mathers to mentally review and interpret everything he’d just said.

Tapping his finger on his chin in thought, Mathers stated, “So, to summarize. You’ve determined that when the portal closed, essence from the other side was deposited unrealized into our plane. Furthermore, said essence was stripped of its anima and -”

Jennings interrupted harshly, “I never said ‘anima’! I said it had been stripped of its identity. There’s a difference.”

Rolling his eyes, Mathers replied, “Not in this case. We’re not just talking about enchantments or materials here, we’re talking about essence remnants of living beings. I believe the term Lord Walker prefers to use is ‘potential’. While he’s been using it as a catch-all, you can hear his interpretation of what that means when he says it. If it weren’t for his painfully shallow understanding of the mechanics of reality, then I wouldn’t bother mentioning it.”

Jennings reluctantly replied, “If you wish to describe the lack of identity as anima, then that is your prerogative. But without evidence of it ever having been there, you should acknowledge that you’re making an assumption.”

Waving his hand dismissively, Mathers argued, “That’s nonsense. A glaringly obvious logical assumption is not something that needs to be proven. Not having proof that anima was there is not evidence that it wasn’t. Logically, unless the area surrounding the other side of the portal was nothing but an empty field specifically and carefully enchanted within a reality bubble, then anima MUST have been there.”

Seeing as Jennings wasn’t disagreeing with him, Mathers chose to continue. “As I was saying, the anima was stripped from the essence, allowing the essence to easily be absorbed by our reality. Your tests proved that the world expanded locally, the former throne room widening and altering the mountain around it. While interesting, I think the more interesting question is how exactly Lord Walker accomplished his feat without the aid of any rituals or technology. Also, have you determined where all that anima went?”

Keeping his expression blank, Jennings asked, “If you were to guess, where would you expect it to have gone?”

Shrugging, Mathers began, “I have no idea. Without a storage device or a… wait, you can’t possibly think Lord Walker incorporated all that anima into himself, can you? That’s impossible. Not only would that kill him, but it would rend his soul into tatters. I’ve read 3 separate reports by people who were watching him reincorporating himself into existence, and there was absolutely no evidence of divinity or planar connections outside our own. There has to be another explanation. There has to be.”

Jennings frowned, asking, “And what of Lord Walker’s claims that he ‘overwhelmed the identities” of the kobalds he’d absorbed?”

Mathers replied quickly, “Soul filtering could be what he was trying to describe. That’s a perfectly reasonable explanation for his soul’s survival. He likely just doesn’t have the requisite knowledge to explain himself. You said it yourself, he’s gained a few levels from the experience. Liches and wraiths have been known to accomplish similar feats.”

Jennings responded tentatively, “That’s what I thought too… at first. But consider this, how much essence must he have filtered, and how much had he must have absorbed if he did.”

Mathers, catching onto what Jennings was hinting at, replied, “You’re right. If he actually had absorbed all that filtered essence, his identity would have been compromised regardless. Which makes it even more unlikely for any anima to have been involved.”

Seeing as Jennings was still deep in thought, Mathers went on, “Theoretically, if he HAD absorbed that much anima, and if he HAD managed to overcome its inherent identity, then he would have accumulated more than enough essence to ascend. Which didn’t happen.”

Jennings, satisfied that the conversation has gotten to the point he’d initially intended it to, asked, “But what if it did?”

Mathers, confused, replied, “What do you mean?”

Jennings, his expression somewhere between fearful and grim, replied, “Consider this, we know that Lord Walker’s physical form perished. We know that a great deal of identities were stripped from the area around the other side of the portal. If we can logically assume that what was stripped was actually anima, and not just willfully imparted meaning, then we can reasonably assume that it had to have gone somewhere. So, if the identities Lord Walker claims he ‘incorporated’ into his center were actually fully realized animas, then theoretically, his soul could have conceivably become powerful enough to ascend. Then, if we accept that as a possibility… What if Lord Walker’s current manifestation on our plane of existence is not what we think it is, and is instead the temporary and semi-divine shell which extends into our plane of existence from the one where his soul resides?”

Looking at Jennings like he were crazy, Mathers stated unamusedly, “You’re proposing he’s a god now?”

Wincing, Jennings replied, “I’m not saying that! I’m just saying that we’ve always accepted that his soul is unique in that it doesn’t react to discorporation like ours do. I’m simply asking if it you think it might be possible that his soul isn’t completely contained within this plane of existence, and if it weren’t, would it be possible to think of him like a divine manifestation.”

Opening his mouth to immediately reply in the negative, Mathers hesitated. Closing his mouth with a grimace, it was obvious that he was beginning to consider what Jennings was getting at.

After a few moments, Mathers said, “If that were true, and that’s a BIG if… then what would it mean for him to have so many people following his teachings?”

Confused, Jennings replied, “What teachings? You mean the Wackos and that adventuring nonsense?”

Mathers shook his head, saying, “Not just them. But everyone who’s been watching him through scrying. You should be aware of the growing number of people who’ve been treating him as some sort of guru, or as an example to follow. Looking at it from the perspective of divinity, we’ve seen evidence of similar situations occurring in the past. Roland the indomitable, Jessica the chaste, Oscar the unwavering, people like these have risen to godhood after their ascensions. Their stories were spread, and their supporters connected themselves to their legends. I’m just wondering, if what you’re suggesting actually happened, and Lord Walker forcefully ascended himself before managing to hold on to our plane and rebuild himself a body, then what does that mean for all the faith he could theoretically be harvesting from the people who are actively following his teachings.”

Shocked at the thought of something like that happening, Jennings replied, “I… I don’t know. Faith is just an expression of anima which has been processed by sentient beings growing their center along similarly harmonic paths. Are you suggesting that he may be able to form faith bonds with his followers? Or that he could perform miracles? Do you think he might be growing his divine plane while still being physically here… on this plane!”

Throwing up his hands, Mathers replied, “I don’t know! This is your hells be damned theory! How am I supposed to know?”

Calming down, Jennings replied, “You’re right. All of this is conjecture. Not only that, it’s thoroughly unsubstantiated conjecture. Even considering the idea of that young man being a divine being is ridiculous. Gods can’t manifest themselves on this plane of existence, therefore logically he cannot be a god. The question of where all that anima went just confused the issue. Let’s just stick to facts and try to figure this out.”

Nodding in agreement, Mathers replied, “Alright, let’s start from the beginning. When you first tested for essence density, did you take into account…”

—--

Not wanting to participate in the conversations occurring all around him anymore, Nero kept his head down and instead spent his time deep in thought. With all the talking he’d been subjected to, he hadn’t had a lot of time to process everything. Not to mention the threat of looming events that were beginning to weigh him down.

While he and the others were making their way through the tunnels, Nero couldn’t help but notice that their descent through the mountain was once again drastically slower than it had been on their way up. The route they were choosing to take was winding to the point where he found himself questioning what the people at the front of the formation were thinking. While he knew he could just join the command channel and ask them what in the hell they were thinking, he didn’t want to get drawn into an argument. It was the army dictating their path, and Nero could only assume there was a reason for their stupidity.

‘Maybe they really are steering us away from the kobalds,’ he thought to himself with a shrug.

Rather than dwell on it, he thought it best just to take the opportunity to mentally review recent events and take an emotional inventory. That seemed like something he should do, right?

With a quick check of his identity, he saw that he hadn’t had all that much growth. Barely any in fact. However, he also could tell that wasn’t the whole story. Since learning more about souls and leveling, he’d been increasingly discovering that there was a great deal about himself that his identity didn’t tell him.

Turning his gaze inward, he was able to see that his center had changed. It had become denser… stronger… more substantial. It felt like he was more anchored to the world. And he could also tell that the process was still progressing. He felt like his identity was describing what he would become, rather than what he was. It was just a feeling, but he felt like he was growing into his stats slowly over time, with every minute making him… more.

Everything about him seemed to be improving, but in ways that were difficult to describe. First, his freakishly quick progress in wrangling his improved mentality. Then, his slowly improving senses of the ether around him.

His ability to sense and understand essence fields was growing faster than ever. While looking objectively at his progress over the past few weeks, he could clearly see that his progress had improved in small incremental leaps. If he weren’t looking for the pattern, he wouldn’t have noticed it. But, it was clear that this most recent leap forward was more drastic than any he’d had before.

After taking a moment to make sure no one was paying attention to him, Nero decided to try something new.

Similar to how he’d done it before, he tried to split his attention in two. It was almost the reverse of how he’d forced his attention into one unified direction. To him, it felt like consciously choosing to do two entirely different tasks with each of his hands… but with his mind.

When he was relatively sure that he’d gotten a handle on it, he allowed half his mind to turn away from what he was doing. One part of his mind was now watching his steps, taking charge of his body and following along with the formation. Meanwhile, the other part of his mind was sinking into his inner world.

The sensation was odd, to say the least. What was even more odd was how easily he was able to switch his attention between them. He felt like both aspects of his mind were him, but the central core of his being could only invest itself into one of them.

The most disconcerting thing about what he was doing was what it felt like when he returned his attention back to the real world while leaving part of his mentality in his inner world. It felt like he’d lost something, something important. There wasn’t so much a sense of danger or anything, but more like he’d left his house without remembering to turn off the TV.

Returning to the part of his mind in the inner world, he was met with the few seconds of memories that he’d somehow ignored. It seemed that whatever happened in his inner world was separate from the real one. However, contradictorily, when his attention was inside, he could still follow what was happening outside with his body.

It was almost like his inner world was separate from reality. Which of course, made sense because it was a manifestation of his consciousness, and not a real place.

Still, he found it weird. So, he made another mental reminder to try and track down a book or two covering the topic of inner worlds. Up until now, he hadn’t found much information on them, but he figured that was more due to Dorchester’s limited library than because of anything else.

‘I need to remember to ask Jennings about it… again. And this time… listen to him,’ he reminded himself before returning to what he’d been attempting to do in the first place.

Now firmly keeping his attention on his inner world, Nero took a good look around at the changes. Since he’d first discovered this place, it had slowly become more real and flushed out. It was like an idea that was slowly being given form, only now becoming a true imitation of life.

He could feel a breeze on his face, along with the smells of the forest that came along with it. The uniform stones under his feet that made up his increasingly wide path were now becoming more unique. Each one seemed less like a pasted copy, and more like they were actually there. He could even see small blades of grass forcing their way up in between them. Even the mountain in the distance was beginning to look less idealized and more like a real mountain. There was an increasingly strong sense of solidity to the world that hadn’t been there before.

Although it wasn’t the first time he’d thought about doing it, Nero had a weird urge to step off the path and explore the forest. There used to just be a sense that adventure was waiting for him out there, but now it felt like he might actually find something there.

Muttering to himself while shaking his head in amusement, Nero said, “I’m either buying into this bullshit cliche on a spiritual level, or I’m losing my mind.”

Glancing over his shoulder, Nero expected to see what he remembered from the last time he’d done so. He recalled that there had been nothing, just the beginning of his path and the representation of what he’d assumed had been the planes he’d arrived through.

But now, he opened his eyes in shock at the sight of a path leading back through more woods. Gone was the end of his inner world, and in its place a 360 degree view of the forest. If he didn’t know better, then he would have thought the world around him was real. All at once, it felt like reality was pushing down on him, demanding that he accept it as an uncompromising truth.

Shivering at the feeling of the spiritual metaphor becoming too real, Nero immediately turned away, returning his attention to the path under his feet.

Thankfully, the little clouds of memories and experiences he hadn’t absorbed from recent events were still floating around him. Their presence acted like an anchor, helping him remember that none of this was real, and it was all in his head… or soul… or whatever.

His initial intention had been to see if he could use this new ability of his to incorporate memories and level while he was still doing stuff in the real world. It had been an off-the-cuff idea that would possibly save him from having to meditate. But now, he’d lost the desire to see if his idea had merit. Instead, he decided to return to the real world, putting off dealing with those memories and experiences for later.

Mentally returning his attention to the part of his mind currently in charge of his body, Nero yanked the other half back out of his inner world, promising himself that everything was fine.

‘OK. So, that’s another thing on the list for future Nero to deal with,’ he thought to himself, now shivering for real.

Next to him, he heard Merrick ask, “Is everything all right, my lord?”

Shaking off the creepiness of having been forced to question his reality, Nero replied quickly, “Yeah, I’m good. Just thinking.”

“Oh? Do you think it’s possible?” he asked.

Nero was about to reply that he hadn’t been listening when the memory of having heard them talking pushed its way into the front of his mind. Peter had been wondering if the kobalds had been in the mountain long enough to affect the identity of this place. If they had been, then apparently it would become a possibility for them to randomly spawn into existence like beasts.

‘I guess splitting my mind like that is an even better autopilot than I thought it was,’ Nero thought to himself with a smile.

Considering the question Merrick had asked him, Nero replied, “I have no idea how any of that works. I mean, I get the concept, but it just seems too crazy to me. Reading books about this stuff is like listening to eastern mysticism on acid. Seriously, the fact that ‘the world remembers’ isn’t a slogan and is instead a real thing blows my mind. I mean, think about it, what if I open an ice cream shop but then never bother to stock the place? Will ice cream magically appear in the freezer? How the hell is that supposed to work?”

Merrick looked confused, and also angry for some reason. His tone firm, he replied, “No, my lord. That is not at all the same thing!”

Nero, returning his glare with a blank stare, replied, “Uh-huh… obviously.”

Muttering under his breath, Nero added in a whisper, “When I eventually end up meeting the god or gods who designed this clusterfuck, I really am gonna for sure ask to see their manager. I’m not joking. Someone needs to be held responsible for this…”

*Chapter 302 - Changes in the background.

*Spoiler - Rarely if ever do people realize they've changed.  They think they do, but they're wrong.  Real change happens slowly.  So slowly in fact, that one could argue that calling it 'change' isn't accurate.  Getting a massively different haircut, or completely changing how you dress... that's change.  Slowly becoming annoyed with the fact that the cornerstore never has enough of your favorite flavor of Monster until you finally stop going there... that's not change.