16-313

EP.313 The Masochist’s First Step (1) 

Sahwa 

She wasn’t a hardcore masochist from the beginning. 

Her motto was “balanced in both scholarship and integrity” 

She enjoyed self-improvement and valued uprightness to the point of being stubborn. 

People around her called her cold-blooded and tearless. 

But their opinions never shook her resolve. 

‘Doing the right thing isn’t wrong.’ 

If anything, she looked down on those who couldn’t understand her, 

marching straight ahead on her chosen path. 

When her college entrance exams ended and she had free time, 

a life-changing event occurred. 

‘All scores were top grade. Records are clean, evaluations great should be able to enter any university.’ 

Her upright life reached a crossroads  

For the first time, she started doubting her path. 

Always moving straight forward, never straying  

Looking back, her life felt dry, hopeless, and gray. 

After moving forward without any passion, her reward was utter emptiness. 

‘What do I even want?’ 

She sat on a park swing, lost in thought. 

Why had she worked so hard? 

‘In the end, I’m just a foolish human.’ 

She’d looked down on others, believing herself superior, 

Obsessed with her unshakable self, running forward without rest. 

Now, finally, she saw the world as it really was  

as the real Sahwa. 

“I tried everything, but nothing was fun.” 

She’d tried all the trendy things classmates mentioned. 

Malatang, life photo booths, Googled experiences she tried as many as she could. 

But once life was dyed gray, it didn’t go back easily. 

Or maybe it was always gray. 

Sahwa defined herself: 

A gray life, this was her and all that she was. 

‘Is that a kid?’ 

Then she saw a boy playing in the park. 

Ordinary at first glance, but oddly he drew Sahwa’s attention. 

What was pulling her so strongly? 

Feeling something new, she approached the boy without realizing it. 

“Uh, hi?” 

“...........” 

Her awkward greeting was met with silence. 

Her mouth trembled with embarrassment, face flushing. 

Why did she even do this? 

Why would a stranger reply to a random greeting? 

As rationality crumbled like a broken wall, shame overwhelmed her, wishing she could disappear. 

“Who are you, lady?” 

Finally, the boy asked, tilting his head. 

Flustered, Sahwa quickly composed herself. 

“I’m Sahwa. Can I ask your name?” 

“Kim Jinwoo.” 

Kim Jinwoo. 

Just a randomly encountered boy  

but she felt like she’d remember his name for a long time. 

“Well, then... Jinwoo, want to play together?” 

“...No.” 

“!” 

The absolute rejection made her swallow hard. 

What went wrong? 

Did her age make it wrong to ask him to play? 

Her mind raced with thoughts when  

Jinwoo stepped back and spoke. 

“My mom says not to play with strange people.” 

“Oh…” 

She was speechless. 

Of course, that was right. 

How could anyone trust someone who suddenly asks to play? 

If their genders were swapped, she’d look like a kidnapper. 

Realizing her mistake, Sahwa sighed. 

“Sorry, did I sound weird?” 

“Yeah, weird.” 

Kids have no mercy. 

She’d heard plenty of criticism in her life, 

but such innocent words, absent of any malice, left her tongue-tied. 

“Well, then... I’ll go. Bye.” 

She swallowed her regret, stood up, and left. 

Lingering would only make things awkward for Jinwoo and others. 

She was doomed to a gray life, unable to fit in with anyone. 

“Hff!” 

Whack! 

Just as she resigned herself to go home, a shock hit her butt. 

For the first time, indescribable excitement shot up her spine. 

Spinning around quickly  

she saw Jinwoo waving in the opposite direction she’d been headed. 

“See ya, weird lady.” 

With those words and laughter, 

she watched his retreating figure race away. 

What was this feeling? 

Never having felt anything like it, Sahwa was confused. 

She didn’t know how she got home, only realized it when she found herself on her bed. 

She pulled out her phone to investigate that sensation. 

‘Getting hit on the butt feels good can that be real?’ 

Yes, it existed major genre, even. 

Masochism. 

Enjoying pain; described alongside sadism. 

‘Am I a masochist?’ 

“Ugh!” 

Slap! 

She tried smacking her own butt, but it just hurt so much she teared up. 

But the strike from Jinwoo had brought pleasure, not pain. 

Was she truly a masochist? 

Confused, she was also slowly consumed by the thrill she’d felt. 

‘Finally, the day has come.’ 

Time passed, and she became an adult. 

Others would drink with friends or spend glamorous nights in clubs. 

Sahwa just swallowed dryly before a box. 

Carefully untaping and opening it, 

inside was a cow-print bikini and a dildo shaped like a real penis. 

She intentionally chose the cow-print bikini  

it felt the most “human” and atmospheric. 

‘This is a dildo...’ 

How long had she suppressed herself since that day? 

Holding back her desire for pleasure, promising to enjoy it properly when she was of age. 

Now, nothing could stop Sahwa anymore. 

‘Maybe I just wear it like this?’ 

Trembling, she looked at herself in the mirror, 

cow-print bikini on her own reflection. 

It was her, yet the trashy outfit made everything feel alien. 

Always upright, never vulgar, 

her indecent, lewd self was unrecognizable. 

Only now was she breaking every chain that bound her. 

Finally, Sahwa’s true self seemed to emerge. 

“I can’t hold back anymore.” 

She stuck the dildo to the floor, 

smoothly applied gel in preparation for insertion. 

Slowly lowering her hips, her thick pussy lips touched the dildo. 

“Hnnngh♥!” 

Indescribable jolts ran down her spine. 

Yes, this is what she’d longed for. 

Descending further, the dildo pushed between her folds. 

“Uuuu…♥! Hhhng♥!” 

Thrust! 

It was hard, but the tip finally slipped in, heating up her body. 

What if she’d always lived upright when would she have found this feeling? 

She cursed the wasted days and slowly began to grind her hips. 

But then  

“Oh? Oooh♥!” 

Thrust! 

She accidentally lost balance and plunged the dildo in deep. 

As she fell on her behind, pain from her torn hymen ran through her. 

Memories of that day Jinwoo hit her returned, 

brain melting in pleasure. 

“Ohohk♥! Ohhot♥! Unngh♥!” 

Thrust! Thrust! Thrust! Thrust! 

With no room for thought, only pleasure mattered as she rocked her hips. 

How could she have wasted life ignoring this feeling? 

Angry at her old self, but swept away by ecstasy at her discovery now. 

With each hip motion, the moans escaping her lips were animalistic. 

‘Who cares! This is the happiest I’ve ever been!’ 

“Ohohk♥! Uuhk♥! Heuhk♥!” 

Thrust thrust thrust thrust! 

In this pleasure, everything else faded. 

Her dignity, her diligent years  

all existed just to crumble before this joy. 

Realizing this, heat surged up from her lower belly. 

‘So good, so good. I want this forever.’ 

Thrust thrust thrust thrust! 

Now the only thing in her mind was the grind. 

She knew she was falling into animalistic abandon, but couldn’t stop. 

If anything, she wanted to become a beast  

happy forever in this pleasure. 

‘Something’s... Something’s coming!’ 

Nervous at the new feeling, she couldn’t stop, 

curious what awaited at the end of this pleasure. 

She ground her hips like a runaway locomotive, 

soon forming a pool of juices on the floor. 

Her face, normally stoic, melted with ecstasy. 

For once, that felt like the real her. 

She’d bound herself for so long  

now, finally, for her own happiness, not anyone else’s. 

Lost in reckless grinding, 

“Hnnngh♥! Hhhng♥! Ooooh♥!” 

Splash! Splash! SPLOOOOOSH! 

Her hips shook as a powerful stream squirted onto the floor. 

Instinct hit  

this was orgasm. 

Everything up to now was just a prelude. 

She’d panted like a beast just for this. 

“Hoo...♥ Hoo...♥ Hoo...♥ I want more…♥” 

She could go again, right? 

As long as she wanted, she could continue to feel this joy. 

Would anything bad happen if she kept going? 

She hesitated briefly. 

‘Forget it. Just enjoy!’ 

“Ohok♥! Unnghot♥! Ohogok♥!” 

Sahwa stopped thinking. 

Her brain was already too soaked in pleasure for logical thought, 

like a drug addict chasing the next high. 

Even if her body gave out, what did it matter  

as long as she could enjoy this again and again. 

So Sahwa masturbated 27 times, 

ending with symptoms of dehydration.