Is it wrong to Speak in a Dungeon? Chapter 16
Added 2023-05-12 11:46:35 +0000 UTCI do not own Danmachi/Jujutsu Kaisen or
Comments
Did he max his stats again before levelling up ?
ExodiaTheForbiddenOne
2023-07-12 19:10:01 +0000 UTCIt was fine, no irritation or anything either. I just noticed, and thought I'd provide feedback, is all. Only way to get better is to keep practicing/writing after all.
Jasticus
2023-05-12 22:56:56 +0000 UTCAh yes, someone had alerted me of this on my Aberrant fic some time ago. I'm sorry if that irritates you or obstructs your experience in any way, I've been trying to lower my usage of ellipses greatly recently and probably would've had double the amount you saw here if not for that. It's definitely an issue since I use it outside of speech and at least once every 4-5 paragraphs, and with how my chapters are 10k at the least... It really adds up. I'll continue trying to work on it and I'm super sorry again.
Anxiety Overlord
2023-05-12 22:31:57 +0000 UTCI like it, though I noticed something and after a while it got hard to ignore. You use a few too many ellipses. '...' I was curious so I did a browser search, and you have 416 of them in this chapter. I can understand using them for Edias since it is how she talks, but using them for everyone all the time is a bit much. If someone has a pause in their speech that doesn't normally talk slow, it's better to write it out, 'Michael paused in his speech, considering the topic a little more, "enter speech here"'. Just something to be aware of to help with your writing. Thanks for the chap.
Jasticus
2023-05-12 20:24:58 +0000 UTCNo shame in creating oc's to flesh out the story, and adding to world building overall. Don't forget, because the anime/material is so focused on Orario as a whole. We only get little whispers of places like the Far East and the like in passing. Not enough for more information on characters and the like, but enough barebones information to paint a small picture. So far you are killing it and it is well worth the wait. Take your time so you can do what you have to do and I am very glad to invest in you. Because you have been doing extremely well as of late with this and the Harry Potter fic, so I am okay with the wait. Be encouraged and in good spirits, thank you for the newest chapter! It is appreciated!
Stanley Seymour
2023-05-12 17:52:51 +0000 UTC1) this was amazing and I loved the pacing 2) oooooh that cliffhanger
Dirk Gent Lee
2023-05-12 16:25:34 +0000 UTCGreat chapter, thanks! I didn’t even notice that you actually made up things about Far East, it was smooth. I can’t wait for the next chapter, what will happen? It seems that Amaterasu doesn’t care that Mikey isn’t from East, so… there will be a fight? I doubt that Amaterasu would arrange some fair battle on the arena, so maybe they will just fight in the hall, Mikey vs top adventurers of Royal Court. He can probably solve the current problem by killing all of the strongest warriors and ruling gods, but it will cause another issues… but hey, at least he will become a record breaker second time, he would kill the biggest number of gods. And godslayer would be a pretty cool alias…
jambas
2023-05-12 16:09:11 +0000 UTCThe cliffhanger on this one is insane please update soon 😭
Odis
2023-05-12 15:55:00 +0000 UTCBro why!?.... the cliffhanger
Stephen
2023-05-12 14:28:17 +0000 UTCOverlord! Why do you do this! Please, give us the next chapter! I’m so fucking hanged!
Harley Shockley
2023-05-12 13:12:36 +0000 UTCRandom thought is creating some kind of miniature black hole Michael nuclear option or is it him pulling another Pain impression and creating a small moon
Angel
2023-05-12 12:29:12 +0000 UTCI will! Thanks for the Hard Work!
SaffireSpirit13
2023-05-12 11:47:28 +0000 UTCEnjoy, losers!
Anxiety Overlord
2023-05-12 11:46:59 +0000 UTC
