An apology.

I'm sorry everyone for the lack of chapters. I've put the patreon on pause again, and if anyone wishes to get a refund, please let me know and I'll immediately refund your pledge. This is going to be a public post, and if you are a patreon who subscribed somewhere around March and feel like there haven't been enough chapters to justify the cost of the tier you paid, let me know and I'll refund you as well, even if you aren't current actively subscribed to me.

Now, that's the main part. Everything further from here is an explanation. I frankly feel ashamed because there wasn't any sort of reason for this one besides just that for some reason I couldn't write. This isn't quite a writer's block or anything, I know the story, I know the general plot points, it had been some time so I read through the chapters briefly and looked over my notes to refresh myself on everything, but for some reason I just haven't been able to write.

This happens sometime. A problem that honestly makes me feel extremely ashamed of myself, or to call myself a professional author in any capacity. I'm doing okay, I'm not dead, I'm not sick again, thankfully. But I'm stuck, and having a spiral for some reason despite not knowing any real cause for it. I hate that this can happen, out of nowhere, and so abruptly. I don't know what the issue is, I don't know how to solve it, I thought I had solved it when I got my ADHD assessment and meds last year, but apparently not. I haven't faced something like this in a while, not at this intensity, but it happens and I feel helpless. But that's no excuse.

I honestly don't feel deserving of keeping this patreon, of all your support and generosity. I've been at this stage before, I come here too often, so much so that making these posts has become painful, as each one is yet another entry in my cycle of failures and broken promises.

I'll most likely be better on my own, in a few days, maybe a week, the book will be written, I know that much. This isn't a hiatus notice, this isn't really a goodbye. But I do feel ashamed, and I want to apologise. As things are, I do not feel like I can accept any money from anybody here, if I cannot even stick to my own words and deliver chapters like I have promised. It is why I've put the patreon on hold, and I don't know when I'll turn it back on. But it will most likely only happen after I feel like I can actually stick to a schedule and not have one of these random episodes. Or if I have such a substantial personal backlog that they can cover up for these episodes of mine.

In any case. I just wanted to get this out there to all of you. Chapters will still be posted here, I don't know when the next one will be, but I'm on the road to getting better- but now I can't promise anything anymore, because previously I'd thought the same and it wasn't true, so I can't give an answer but that's just how I feel right now. If you want to stick around to get access to the chapters, then know that you won't be charged for doing so. If not, that's perfectly fine too, and I understand. A refund will also likely terminate access to the patreon. If I could, I'd just do the refund but the system is simply built that way.

Thank you for being so supportive, even though I've done little to deserve it.

I'm sorry if I disappointed you.