demo 114: so perfect

update : download link for this one here here ! (can't figure out how to do it within patreon since site has changed - using google drive for now)!

hey SDC! I present to you your september demo, 'so perfect'. really enjoyed the process of this one

can't tell you how much playing drums has affected the way I write, it's magic. I'm all about it ! I still have the tiniest shittest drumkit in my studes and yet.. it really doesn't matter. the ability to record a couple loops of how I feel the groove could sound and then to write on top of that with guitar/drums.. the rhythm sooo informs the other instruments and the vocal! on a good day I get into such a flow with it - I'm a proper lil one-woman band - and on a bad day I'm a crazed woman drinking too much tea and spending long days alone going feral

I think a lot about relationships and how vulnerable it is to really let someone else in.. to let them see all your grizzly sides. it's beautiful and scary and so exposing. this song is a cryyyy out to someone I love to say.. hey.. no need to perform. let your guard down with me, if you're willing.

the rubber bridge takes centre stage here.. the rhythm sort of reminds me of some old Nick Mulvey songs - (anyone remember this one? SO good. makes me emotional).. it also sort of gave me a vague feeling of old school Bombay Bicycle Club / Maccabees vibes? not sure - no specific songs, but I do feel there is some 2010's cutesy brit indie energy embedded in this one. at this point you know I like me a simple repetitive chorus when one lyric truly deserves it.. ("Alexa, play WHY AM I LIKE THIS by Orla Gartland.."). I feel there's something powerful about simplicity in certain cases.. especially a line that can have different meanings the more you say it. to me "you don't have to be so perfect" is like a compliment, then a desperate cry for emotional access, then a simple compliment again..

as always, you can stream this demo (and the others) from within the patreon site / mobile app (where you can also save offline) and usually you can download the attached mp3 for keepsies.. but the patreon site has updated and I can no longer see the option to do that (back on this soon if I can figure it out). if any thoughts, feelings or feedback come to mind when listening leave a comment below - for example, is this feeling one you can relate to?

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lyrics:

do you ever watch me

when I get undressed?

do you ever wish you

cared a little less?

you been zipped up good and tight

always alright

I’m not really buying that you’ve

only got a good side (*I sang this line wrong in the demo but the inverse of it is also interesting lol)

you don’t have to be so perfect

you don’t have to be so perfect

do you ever wonder

what is on my mind?

are you trying to tell me

you’re an angel all the time?

cause I’ve been chomping at the bit

yeah I admit

gotta give me something

go and hit me with the conflict

cause I can take it

you don’t have to be so perfect

you don’t have to be so perfect

you don’t have to be anything

you don’t have to be so perfect with me

I want all of you but I want you to myself

I want all of you but I want you to myself

looking for a side of you

that nobody else knows

is there a chance this is

as deep as the well goes?

cause I’ve been diving deep on down

trying hit ground

see you’re easy to love but hard to figure out

you don’t have to be so perfect

you don’t have to be so perfect

you don’t have to be anything

you don’t have to be so perfect with me

I want all of you but I want you to myself

I want all of you but I want you to myself

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SDC - thank you as always for your support. it's a mad time to be an artist - so much of the music industry (like other industries) feels broken and it's a hard time to be a small or even mid level artist without rich parents funding the whole frickin shebang. it's genuinely very hard to imagine how I'd sustain myself and be able to do really do this job without your collective support! it's so incredibly tangible.. aside from paying for things like my studio rent it's the absence of total financial panic that really helps me sleep at night. so thank you! I worry that when I'm less present online that they may get forgotten, but it means as much as ever (if not more) in these quieter, more introspective times

love you, OG xxxxx