#1277 Idle Talk – The Farm God Fist’s Secret 

It’s me. 
The Saint of the Farm. Yep, me. 

It’s already been a whole day since Junior set off on his journey of self-discovery. 
I’m burning up inside with worry and loneliness. 

Is he eating properly? 
Or is he surviving on nothing but potato chips three times a day just because no one’s watching? 

Is he sleeping enough? 
Or is he staying up all night playing around and wrecking his whole sleep schedule? 

Has he fallen in with weird friends? 
The city’s full of temptations, after all. And Junior’s a boy of that age, no doubt he’s starting to notice women too... 

...Noooooooo!!! 
Just imagining my innocent, pure little Junior getting a girlfriend and going “waaaay hey hey” is enough to make my brain explode into piecesssssss! 

“Calm down.” 

Gweh?! 
Platy?! 

Why are you so calm? Aren’t you, as his mother, also worried sick about Junior?! 

“Even if I am, children are meant to leave the nest one day. We parents have to accept that! Besides, we’ve got plenty more kids between us. If I let myself break down every time one of them leaves, I’d run out of bodies to break down with!” 

That’s... fair, but still... 
You’re shaken too, aren’t you? You’re holding your cigarette upside down. 

“Wha-?!” 

And you’ve never even smoked before! That alone proves how rattled you are! 

“S-Says the man trying to replant a daikon upside-down back into the soil! You’re way more messed up than I am!” 

What?! No way I...huh?! 
Wait, why am I doing this? 

Has Junior leaving really thrown my whole life this far off balance? 
I thought we were the ones supporting him... but maybe he was the one holding us up all along. 

“Even so, nobody would try to replant a daikon they’d already pulled out.” 

What are you talking about? Look at Veil over there. 
She’s so shaken up, she’s half-dragon, half-human, literally transformed but left her face human. 

That’s way weirder, right? 

“I’ve known her forever, but I didn’t even know she could transform like that. A new discovery.” 

It just shows how much she cares about Junior. 
Sometimes she doted on him even more than we did. 
I just hope she doesn’t sink into “Veil-loss” over this... 

“Well, I’d say Junior will manage just fine. Everyone knows how capable that boy is.” 

Um, Sensei? 
...Uh, your head’s facing backwards. Like, your face is pointing toward your back. 
I guess that’s a perk of being a Lifeless King, huh? Another new discovery. 
Still, I’m guessing that slip-up’s from nerves, too? 

“When he learns something, he masters it instantly. Why, even I was shocked when he picked up my summoning arts. With that much talent, he’ll be just fine wherever he goes.” 

Sensei’s stamp of approval. 
And he’s right. Junior’s quick grasp of anything is legendary. 

Everyone loved teaching him stuff just for fun, but that ended up being elite-level education. 

And since everyone hanging around the farm is some big-shot powerhouse, they all became the best instructors imaginable. Add the finest teaching to natural genius, and you get a monster. 

People shuddered at their own handiwork more than once, muttering, “What sort of creature have we raised?!” 

Yep... our kid’s a genius... (Proud Dad Mode engaged.) 

“But doesn’t that apply to you, too, Dear?” 

Me? 
Platy and Sensei exchange looks. 

“Of course. You passed down that ridiculous Farm God Fist without even telling us. When Junior showed it off, I nearly fainted.” 
“Even I was floored by that. Me, the Crowned Witch, also known as Mother of the Farm!” 

...Platy’s been collecting weird new titles ever since we founded the Farm Kingdom. 
She’s basically “the fortune teller from Shinjuku” at this point. 

Anyway, the Farm God Fist. 

It’s not some family-secret assassination art passed down through generations. Nope. 

It’s just applying my divine gift from Hephaestus, the Hand of Supremacy, to martial arts. A fighting style that lets me touch an opponent and zero out their potential, while maxing out my own. No matter who I’m facing or where, it guarantees a one-sided beatdown. 

If that’s not a cheat, I don’t know what is. 

“And you never told me you had something like that! Hiding it from your wife?! Couples shouldn’t keep secrets!” 

... 

“Hm? Why are you suddenly silent?” 
“Stomachache, perhaps?”  

Sensei tilts his backward head. 

No, it’s not that. 
...Now that Junior’s left, I guess there’s no point keeping it hidden anymore. 

It’s time to confess a secret I could never reveal while he was still here. 

I... never invented the Farm God Fist. 
Not even a little. 

“Eh?!”  

Platy and Sensei both squawk. 

From over the mountains, Veil howls, “I miss Juniorrrrrrr!” 

“Come on, think about it. I’m a die-hard pacifist. Do you really believe I would invent a deadly martial art?” 
“You would.” “Lord Saint, once you get going, you tend to lose yourself.” 

...Fair point! 
Especially if my inner chuunibyou got tickled. Then practicality wouldn’t matter anymore. 

But this time, really, I’m innocent! 

When it comes to the Farm God Fist, I never touched it. 
It just... somehow came into existence! 

“Huh?! But Junior’s using it! He said he learned it from you!” 
“If it wasn’t Lord Saint who passed it down, then who taught Junior?” 

Right. If Junior really claims to have inherited the Farm God Fist, then someone must have created that martial art and passed it on to him. 

So, who was it?  
Who??? 

In truth, only two people in this world can actually wield and master the divine gift. 

Myself, bearer of the Hand of Supremacy..... 
...and Junior, who holds the Hand of Ultimacy. 

Outside of us two, there shouldn’t be anyone capable of practicing the Farm God Fist, which is based on using the gift itself. 

It all began when Junior was still very young, maybe seven or eight. 

I was showing him how to use my Hand of Supremacy. 
Since he had a similar ability, I thought it might serve as a useful reference for him, or to be honest, it was mostly because I wanted to be admired as a father. 
Like, “Look how amazing your dad is!” 

And just as I hoped, little Junior watched me perform the miracles of the Hand of Supremacy with shining eyes. 

It was the greatest moment of fatherhood! 

But…  
After that, Junior used what I had shown him as inspiration. 
He studied his Hand of Ultimacy, explored different applications, and from that came… 
...The Farm God Fist. 

Yes, the true founder of the Farm God Fist was Junior himself!! 

“Wait, but Junior said he learned it from you!” 
“He probably just meant that the original idea came from me, and he wanted to honor me in some way.” 

See? Junior’s a good kid like that. 

“Then you should’ve corrected it sooner! That’s falsifying origins! That’s copyright infringement!!!” 

I know!  
You’re absolutely right! 

But I just couldn’t bring myself to say it! You know we have lots of kids besides Junior, right?! 
When the eldest, Junior, says, ‘Dad taught me this technique!’ the younger ones all look at me with those sparkling eyes, too! 

I didn’t want to lose that gaze of respect! 
I couldn’t bear the thought of disappointing them! 

So, I kept putting off correcting the lie...! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!! 

“What a pitiful father...!” 
“Blinded by pride, indeed.” 

Stop it! Don’t look at me with those pitying eyes! 
If it were just Platy and Sensei, I could endure it, but if my kids looked at me like that, I’d never recover! 

I’m sorry, Junior! 
Once you’ve gone independent, don’t hold back and claim your rightful place as the founder! 

And somewhere beyond the mountain ridge, Veal’s cry of “Juniorrrrrrr!” still echoes in the sky.