#967 The God Governing Christmas

I was completely engrossed in my Christmas preparations.

Then, a visitor arrived.

Just when I’m pouring my heart and soul into this, who dares to interrupt me?!

“It is I.”

Great, the gods have shown up again!!!

Who else but a god would have the nerve to butt in while a human is hard at work?!

Curse you, gods! Always messing with our fates!!!

Now, when we talk about gods, you gotta understand there are loads of them. Just saying “a god” doesn’t really tell you which one.

So, let’s make the announcement.

Today’s guest god is...

The ancient, once-sealed, former chief god, Cronus!!!

“Sensei, please don’t summon gods so casually.”

“It’s hard to refuse when a summons comes from the divine realm, you see.”

Basically, gods can’t come down to the mortal realm unless they’re summoned by a special being like Sensei the Lifeless King.

Long ago, it was decided that gods shouldn’t interfere too much with mortals, so they can’t come here by their own will anymore.

Since then, none of the gods can descend on their own, except for Hermes, the messenger god.

But to think that this rule even applies to an old-timer like Cronus...

“Though I, a deity of the Titan kind, hold no obligation to align myself with those of Olympus, I believe it prudent to abide by the rules for the sake of world stability.”

What a considerate god...!

Maybe the world would’ve been better off if Zeus hadn’t taken over, huh?

“But barging in unannounced is a bit much.”

Back to the point.

Why are you dropping in without notice when we’re busy with Christmas preparations?

Even if you’re freshly unsealed, that’s a bit too casual, don’t you think, god?

“What dost thou mean? Was it not thee who summoned me?”

“Huh?”

“I heeded the summons and descended, only to be met with such grand reception. ‘Tis saddening for a god to be treated so carelessly.”

Hold on a minute.

Why would I summon a god?

I don’t remember doing anything like that. Could there be a mistake?

Did you check the address properly?

“Nay, I am certain of it. Thou art holding a festival in mine own honor, correct?”

What’s with the presumptuous statement?!

I have no plans for any festival in your honor!

What are you talking about?

I’m up to my ears in Christmas preparations and haven’t thought for a second about honoring you...

...

Wait a minute.

Christmas?

I know this. The original meaning of Christmas, back in the day.

Before it was part of that particular faith, Christmas was a more straightforward, down-to-earth festival.

It was tied to the agricultural cycle, a time to give thanks for the year’s harvest and pray for next year’s bounty by honoring the god in charge.

That festival was named after the god it celebrated.

Saturnus.

“Saturnus is another name of mine, after all.”

“Cronussssssssssssss?!”

Finally, it all clicked for me.

Cronus = Saturnus.

And the old name for Christmas is Saturnalia.

So, Christmas used to be a festival for honoring Cronus?!

Did the god just show up because humans unintentionally attracted his attention?

This isn’t some Ouija board game!

“U-Um, apologies for being ignorant… We celebrated your festival without knowing its origins and just wanted an excuse to party…!”

Typical Japanese mindset.

Not understanding the meaning behind things but always quick to apologize.

“Hmm, if such be the case, then I must apologize. It was improper of me to intrude without proper verification.”

What an understanding ex-chief god.

How did a guy like Zeus replace someone like him?

“I see... I was quite delighted to think that the people of today still held faith in me. Alas, it seems I was mistaken. How embarrassing to have been so elated in error.”

Oh no, please don’t look so dejected!!!

If Christmas is a festival for an ancient agricultural god, then with all the Christmas celebrations worldwide, you’re being worshipped globally!!!

Isn’t that amazing?!

In a way, you could be considered the most worshipped figure from Greek mythology right now!!!

“But surely, there art few who celebrate Christmas with such profound understanding, art there not?”

“E-Even if they don’t, there are still some who do!”

Surely at least thirty percent… no, maybe twenty percent? I’m sure it’s at least ten percent!!!

...Ah!

Hold up. I just realized something huge!

You know Santa Claus? The bearded old guy who’s the star of Christmas.

A white beard, like Edwrd Newgte… and there are other similarities too.

Loves kids, very caring.

Was Whitebeard actually Santa Claus?

No.

That’s not it.

The issue here is Cronus, and Cronus = Saturnus.

Saturnus.

Santa Claus.

Don’t the names sound kind of similar?

Saturnus → Santornus → Santa Claus?

Was Santa Claus actually Cronus?!

“Nay, I believe that has a different origin.”

“It’s not?!”

And I’m being corrected by Cronus himself?!

Talk about getting the rug pulled out from under me!!!

“Since it hath been revealed as my misunderstanding, I shall depart quietly. It would be unseemly to disrupt the merriment.”

Ahh!

Please wait a minute!

You can’t leave feeling disappointed when you came here looking forward to this!

If it were Hades or Poseidon, I’d tell them to get lost, but I can’t do that to Cronus!

“Due to religious reasons, we can’t have a full-on festival, but please join us for Christmas! We’d love to have you! If you have any requests, let us know!”

As long as it’s not something like “open a Sabbath” or “offer a sacrifice”...

Cronus thinks for a moment…

“...Indeed, Christmas is intertwined with mine own festival, Saturnalia, as well as being closely related to the celebration of the winter solstice.”

“Huh?”

Winter solstice?

“The day when the tilt of the Earth’s axis renders the day shortest, from whence the days grow longer toward spring and summer. It marks the nadir of winter’s harshness, turning towards warmth and abundance. The winter solstice is the foremost beginning of spring’s approach, a day of great import to an agricultural deity such as myself.”

Absolutely.

For us farmers, the arrival of spring is crucial.

The winter solstice, heralding that, is definitely something to celebrate.

“In honor of this solstice, I desire...”

Yes, yes?

“...to partake of boiled pumpkin.”

But that’s a Japanese tradition.

Eating pumpkin on the winter solstice is a Japanese custom!!

The cultural mix is all over the place!!!

But I couldn’t refuse Cronus’ request, so the party table will include pumpkin stew on Christmas.

I guess we’ve added a new dish to our Christmas menu?

And why not add a hot yuzu bath for good measure?