#966 The True Seven-Faced Body

We have secured a Christmas tree!

Well, the foundation for it, anyway.

We still need to decorate it with ornaments and other trinkets. The sakura, plum, and palm trees are still causing quite a ruckus, though, refusing to accept their fate.

But for now, we can say the Christmas tree issue is more or less sorted.

Time to move on to the next Christmas prep task.

Other than the tree and the cake, what else screams Christmas?

After a four-day brain search...

Eureka!

Bird...!!!

Yes, poultry! Apart from cake, Christmas also means indulging in some fancy poultry dish, right?

Traditionally, it’s those lip-smacking fried chicken from K*C, but, alas, this world lacks that.

I briefly wondered if they might have a branch here, but even the might K*C hasn’t expanded to alternate dimensions.

To think that K*C has limits...

Anyway, if that’s the case, I’ll just have to make my own fried chicken.

But wait a second.

Am I forgetting something important?

Is fried chicken even a thing in the Christmas heartlands of the West?

No, that’s not right.

From what I’ve heard, there’s something else they eat.

...Oh, right.

Turkey!

The true bird of Christmas is turkey, roasted whole. That’s the real Christmas tradition!

In Japan, we eat fried chicken as a substitute for turkey.

Because of different supply chains, getting a turkey is a Herculean task, not to mention pricey.

Also, the Japanese generally don’t have the capacity to consume a whole turkey, so the more accessible and convenient fried chicken from K*C took its place.

First of all, for the ultimate party animals—the Americans—Christmas parties are a grand affair involving the whole neighborhood.

They probably have no trouble devouring a gigantic bird much bigger than a chicken.

But in Japan, Christmas parties are typically a small family affair, where the party barrel of fried chicken is about as much as we can handle.

Plus, with all that greasy food... leftovers aren’t ideal for the next day.

But when it comes to my farm, the issue of food consumption is practically nonexistent.

The number of attendees at our party includes every resident, so even a “small” gathering easily surpasses a typical home party in scale.

And boy, do they sure can eat.

Not just the orcs who look like they could eat a whole feast themselves, but even the women eat with a wild, hearty appetite.

Considering that, it’s enough to make me worry if we don’t prepare several turkeys for the feast.

With that thought, I made up my mind.

Our farm’s Christmas party will feature whole roast turkeys!!!

It’s going to be just like a real Christmas!!!

All right, time to get some turkeys!

...So.

Where do I find them?

America?

Here we go again.

This is another world, and it’s still unclear if any of my old-world knowledge applies.

First, I need to see if turkeys even exist here.

If not, I’ll have to find a substitute.

How many times have I been through this trial and error?

I’m hoping for an easy solution this time.

I have a lot more Christmas preparations to do, after all.

So, I decided to start by asking for help.

“Hey, orcs, got a minute?”

I ask the orcs living on the farm.

I need to know about the monsters in the dungeon.

Almost all the food consumed here comes from the crops we grow ourselves, with the rest being monster meat and bones we snag from the dungeon.

Among our farm crew, it’s pretty common for the orcs and goblins to be in and out of the nearby dungeon all the time. The more they hang out there, the more they get to know the place inside out.

Honestly, they probably know more about it than I do by now.

I ask them if they have seen any monsters resembling turkeys.

“…A turkey, My Lord?”

“Yeah, it’s a pretty big bird. Any idea where we can find one?”

You wouldn’t happen to know if there’s one wandering around the dungeon, would you?

If the orcs don’t have any leads, I’ll have to ask either the dungeon guardian, Veil, or Sensei next.

“...Yes, actually.”

No way!

Woo-hoo!

Looks like things are moving along smoothly.

“We shall go hunt it right away. What about you, My Lord?”

“Of course, I’m coming along!!!”

I can’t just sit this one out after suggesting it!

Let’s go with the orcs and head to the dungeon!

Time to catch ourselves a wild turkey!!!

***

So, we arrived at the dungeon and encountered...

A bird-like monster that’s supposed to be the otherworldly version of a turkey…?!

“It’s got seven headsssssssssssss?!”

Yep, a bird monster with seven heads.

Not six, not eight, but exactly seven.

It’s like a Hydra but in bird form. Most creatures only have one head, you know…

Anything with more than one head is pure fantasy...

But still.

“Is that really the otherworldly turkey monster?!”

“Yes, My Lord. It has exactly seven faces, doesn’t it?”

So that’s why you call a turkey shichimenchou in Japanese (七面鳥, “seven-faced bird”)?!

What kind of pun is that?!

“When My Lord mentioned a turkey, I thought it was perfect timing! With seven heads, I couldn’t believe the coincidence!”

So that’s why you brought me here so eagerly?!

Like when someone brings out ginger, and you can’t resist making a pun about it?!

“All right, we’ll take down that seven-headed turkey monster. Please wait a moment, My Lord.”

It’s more like a seven-headed bird than a turkey, though!

And so, the battle against the seven-headed bird began. Surprisingly, it was quite strong.

With seven heads, each peck from their beaks was a relentless assault.

It was like facing a hundred punches at once.

Way too many attacks to handle normally.

This is a much wilder turkey (?) than expected.

A typical adventurer would probably have been overwhelmed in no time, but not our farm’s outstanding orcs.

With their shields forming an impenetrable defense, they waited for the perfect moment to swing their clubs and smash heads, one by one, with precision.

Their movements were like those of seasoned hunters, and even a turkey (or whatever that thing was) that should have been as fearsome as a grim reaper quickly fell silent and became their prey.

“But will this really make a delicious roast?”

That was the original plan, but this has turned into a bit of a spectacle.

This bird monster only shares the trait of having seven heads with a turkey... No, that’s not even a real similarity.

The only thing this and a regular turkey have in common is that they’re both birds.

Well, might as well try roasting it anyway.

Chop off the heads and legs, remove the innards, stuff it with onions, potatoes, and herbs, and sew it up.

Then pop it in the oven…

...Hmm.

So, here it is: otherworldly roast turkey (?).

I half-heartedly made it, but will it actually turn out to be a decent dish?

I take a bite, albeit recklessly.

…

Hmm, it’s good.

Surprisingly, it tastes pretty normal.

All right, looks like we’ve got our Christmas main dish settled.

==========

七(seven) 面(face) 鳥 (bird). that's the literal translation of the word for turkey in Japanese. according to Japanese Wikipedia, it comes from the naked skin on the neck of the head, which turns red, blue, purple, etc. when excited, giving the bird the appearance of having seven faces.