#898 It’s Not Cheating if Nobody Finds Out

Right now. 

Platy is seated in seiza-style before us.

Around her neck hangs a sign.

It reads, “I have cheated.”

“Oh, Platy dear, this is truly shameful. I raised you to be a merprincess of integrity and honor, yet here you are, tainted by deceit and trickery...!”

“Lies! You always tell me, ‘As long as you win, any means are acceptable!’”

Given Platy’s usual behavior, her words carried more weight of truth.

“Well, it is true. All is fair in victory. Such is the creed of witches...!”

Butting in with unnecessary commentary was Puffer, the current Mermaid Queen and a witch herself...

“All right, I’m game for this anything-goes witch battle. Who says marriage and motherhood have dulled my witchy fervor? Not me!”

It seems I’ve inadvertently fanned the flames of an odd competitive spirit.

What was a simple card game now morphs into a rule-free survival battle.

“Puffer... you are indeed a worthy rival I acknowledged...!!!”

Was there ever such a narrative?

“In response to your rebellious spirit, let’s reset the match. We’ll redistribute the coins evenly and restart the game! We’ll even call back Angel from underground!”  

“Eh?! I can join the game again? Sis, you’re so kind!!!”

While appearing to consider her sister’s feelings, it’s blatantly obvious she’s resetting to avoid being singled out for blame.

So, what now?

The upcoming match endorses cheating.

A game evolving into a bloodier contest, where luck in cards is just the beginning, and every trick in the book is fair game.

“Just to be clear... cheating is off the table.”  

“I get it. If I blatantly do something underhanded, I’ll be stopped, right?”

“Of course, card games are a gentleman’s and lady’s sport, aren’t they?”  

“Yippeee, I’m going to beat you all up for sure this time!”

The only foreseeable future is Angel getting ganged up on and thrashed like before.

Reading between the lines of their dialogue...  

— “We will STILL cheat. But if you’re caught, you’re guilty.”  

— “Anything goes as long as you don’t get caught.”  

— “I’ll cheat with all I’ve got, but I’ll also catch any of you cheating.”

That seems to be the consensus.

This is the etiquette of a cheating battle. Cheating done so blatantly without regard shakes up the rules and leads to total game breakdown.

To prevent this, maintaining a facade of rule adherence is crucial for the game’s continuation.

“This game... is going to get rough...!!!”

Considering two complex elements intertwine here.

One is the pure aspect of winning or losing the game. The other is the vigilant monitoring for cheating by opponents while stealthily executing one’s own deceit...

Such is the nature of this game! 

Oh, the depth, mainly in terms of karma!

“Shall we resume the game then? Poker continues to be our game of choice, yes?”

Platy removes the repentance sign from her neck to speak.

“Time to deal the cards. A thorough shuffle and...”  

“Hold on.”

Lady Mahi stops Platy, eager to proceed with the game.

“Why are you sneakily trying to take the dealer’s role again? You think we’d let you touch the deck again after catching you red-handed?”  

“Tch.”

That was an overly audible click of the tongue.

Mother-in-law’s concern is valid; why would Platy think she’d remain the dealer?

“Fine... We’ll let someone else deal. Someone completely unrelated to the game... How about Dear over there? He looks idle.”

Eh?

Me?

“No way! He’s your husband! Where’s the guarantee you’re not in cahoots?”  

“Right. Even though the son-in-law is fair, a request from his beloved wife might tempt him to deceit.”  

“Then, shall I call my husband to deal the cards, Mother-in-law?!”  

“Didn’t you hear me? If we’re doing this, let’s ask someone completely unrelated. How about that child over there playing with a ball?”

Choosing that child is already setting up a cheating flag.

At this point, why not let Angel, now back in the game, deal?

“Huh? Me? Deal the cards?!”  

“...”

The three witches look at her with a mix of pity and dismay...

“Well, Angel should be fine.”  

“Even if she had malicious intent, her lack of skill would ensure fairness.”

Earning trust in the most unfortunate sense, Angel was promoted to the role of a dealer. 

As a member of the mermaid royalty, the future seems uncertain.

“Okay, I’ll deal them out, one, two...”

Cards are distributed to each player.

Angel’s handling is so clumsy it’s hard to imagine her executing sophisticated cheating techniques like a second deal or a false cut.

In this scenario, no character could be deemed safer than Angel.

Just when the game seems ready to start in earnest...

“…Hmm, Puffer?”  

“What is it, Lord Saint?”  

“Since when did you wear long sleeves?”

Puffer, the undisputed Mermaid Queen, now dons a long-sleeved jacket she hadn’t been wearing earlier.  

...That’s so suspicious.

“I must inspect.”  

“Whoa! What the— Stop, you pervert!”

Crying foul when I’m merely enforcing the rules.

...And as expected!

Sleeves filled with cards spill out!

“Your cheating is too blatant! Wearing that right at the start is practically screaming you have something to hide!” 

“What shallow trickery, Puffer. The title of mermaid queen weeps for you.”

Platy quips, adjusting her glasses with a smirk.

...

Wait.

“Glasses? Since when did you wear glasses?”

“What, my dear husband? It’s a makeover, a makeover! How do I look? Cute, isn’t it?”

Cute, to a mother of two...?

No, that’s not the point.

But Platy, you never wore glasses, did you?

Not yesterday, not a moment ago.

Moreover, are glasses even a concept in this world?

Suddenly, donning glasses makes Platy suspicious beyond doubt, yet bizarrely, it circles back to being not suspicious!

“...May I?”  

“No, Dear! There are lines even spouses shouldn’t cross...”

Snatching the glasses almost forcefully, I try them on.

And through the lenses, I see...!

“I can see it, I can really see it...!”

Numbers emerge on the back of the cards!

They appear in a hue reminiscent of fluorescent paint on the reverse side of the playing cards!

Removing the glasses makes them disappear.

Wearing them makes them visible again!

What is this astonishing trick?! It’s like a luminol reaction!

“Muahaha, you’ve seen through it! This is a special ink visible only through these magically treated lenses I’ve developed!!!”

This is no time to be bragging about your work.

What a waste of talent on trivial pursuits.

Platy is promptly re-equipped with the “I have cheated” sign.

The same goes for Puffer.

“What careless ladies. Do you not know that true victory comes without the need for deceit?”

Meanwhile, Lady Mahi observes calmly as if above the fray.

As if she could be innocent.

Puffer, Platy, engaged in cheating, and this woman is clean? Impossible.

Lady Mahi is definitely up to something. 

But what?

As the game continues, cards are dealt and turns for card exchanges proceed.

“Your turn, Mom. How many cards will you change?”  

“Let’s see, I’ll take two, please.”

Everything about her seems normal, nothing suspicious.

But there’s no doubt she’s cheating. What kind of trick is she pulling?

Huh?

Did Lady Mahi just wink?

At... Puffer?!

In an enemy alliance with Puffer, her son Arowana’s wife?!

Ah, they secretly exchange cards out of Platy’s view!

They’re conspiring?!

Some players are in cahoots?!

And to think, Lady Mahi and Puffer, who should be at odds as mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, are teaming up?!

Despite their usual bickering, are they willing to join forces to win a challenge?!

The bonds forged by cheating!!!

Yet, foul play is foul play and was duly exposed.

Why are these mermaids so voraciously competitive?

In the end, “I have cheated” signs adorned all players.